Green Beer

References

• St. Patrick’s Day
• Green Beer
• Half and Half
• Queen Mab
• Dearg Due
• Leprechaun
• Atlantic City
• Bradley Cooper
• Ed Helms
• The Hangover
• Harry Potter
  • Felix Felicis
• H-O-R-S-E
• Zach Galifianakis
• Malcolm in the Middle
  • Hal Wilkerson
• Alvin and the Chipmunks
  • Simon Seville
• Brendan Fraser
• Frasier
  • Niles Crane
• The Beatles
• Pete Best
• Fat Best Friend
• The DUFF
• Shallow Hal
• The Monkey’s Paw
• Pre-funk
• Slumdog Millionaire
• Bring alchohol into a casino/hotel.
• LoJack
• Beer Goggles

Transcript

[Intro music begins]

[Thomas]
I feel like Hal should win a slot machine, but it’s one of those ones where it’s like, “Oh, you get two tickets to the buffet,” you know. It’s one of those kind of.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
“Did anybody win anything?” It’s like. “No.” “No.” “I did!” “Oh, how much did you win?” “Um, well…”

[Shep]
No, he’s got to be excited.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He thinks it’s such a.

[Thomas]
Oh, that’s true.

[Shep]
“Two tickets to the buffet.” “That doesn’t help us.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. So Vince is like, “The buffet tickets don’t help.” And he’s like, “Okay, well, I know which one of you I’m not taking with me to the buffet.”

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Intro music]

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Welcome to Almost Plausible, the podcast where we take ordinary objects and turn them into movies. St. Patrick’s Day is coming up this weekend, and that means it’s time for one of the holiday’s most obnoxious traditions here in the US: green beer. Today on Almost Plausible, we’ll be coming up with a movie plot based on Green Beer. And when I say “we”, I’m talking about Emily-

[Emily]
Hey, guys.

[Thomas]
F. Paul Shepard-

[Shep]
Happy to be here.

[Thomas]
And myself, Thomas J. Brown. Now, I’ve never actually had green beer before, and rather than ask my co-hosts whether or not they have, I’m going to guess. I think that Emily has and Shep has no idea.

[Shep]
Correct.

[Emily]
I’m pretty sure I have.

[Thomas]
And just in case you’ve never listened to the show before, Shep is colorblind. That’s the joke. I think, for me, the only reason I haven’t had green beer is that when I was in my quote unquote “drinking days” in college and stuff, I didn’t like beer, so, people around me would drink green beer for St. Patrick’s Day. But I never had an interest. And now that I do drink beer, I don’t have an interest in green beer. So just give me a half and half. I’m good,

[Emily]
Yeah. I never saw the appeal because it’s literally just adding food coloring to beer.

[Thomas]
Right. All right, well, let’s get to some pitches on green beer. Emily, you’re up first.

[Emily]
I am? Oh, no. Why?

[Shep]
Because you’re lucky!

[Emily]
I’m the lucky one. All right. The first one I have is: A witch enchants a green beer at a St. Patrick’s Day party. Heather, our main character, drinks the enchanted beer, much to the dismay of the witch. She’s looking for a strong and brave young man to help her on her quest. The potion allows the human who drinks it to see mythical creatures living in a secret realm around us. The witch, Bridget, was sent to acquire a human champion to help rescue queen Mab from the forces of evil. Now she must trust that her error won’t spell disaster for the Fae as she and her reluctant champion charge headlong into battle.

[Shep]
Won’t spell disaster. Ha.

[Thomas]
Hey!

[Emily]
And my last one: a sorority party turns deadly when a keg of green beer turns the female party-goers into violent, blood sucking fiends, known in Irish folklore as the Dearg Due, the young women soon begin terrorizing campus in a very violent St. Patty’s Day kill fest.

[Thomas]
Do we have a title for this one?

[Shep]
Yeah, that’s the first thing I thought of.

[Emily]
All right, those are my pitches. I think Shep should go next because I like to pick on Shep.

[Shep]
Okay, here’s my pitch. A man steals a flask containing liquid luck from a leprechaun, but while making his escape, is hit by a truck and dies, and the flask goes flying, landing and spilling in the back of another passing truck carrying barley. The barley is brewed into beers which turn green, each carrying an amount of luck in them. Drinkers experience a night of good luck, but like a hangover, have a quote unquote “luck hangover” the following day with negative luck to make up for the luck they used.

[Thomas]
Interesting.

[Emily]
It is interesting.

[Shep]
After I wrote this, I’m like, did I just write one of the leprechaun movies? And I had to look up the plots to the leprechaun movies to make sure that I hadn’t.

[Emily]
That is not the plot to the leprechaun movies.

[Thomas]
I do like the irony of the guy who steals the flask full of luck almost immediately being killed.

[Emily]
Getting hit by a bus.

[Shep]
Because he didn’t drink from it right away.

[Emily]
Oh.

[Shep]
You always got to drink from the flask right away. Then you can make your escape. Everything, all the lights will turn green for you.

[Thomas]
Mm hmm. They’ll turn green. Yeah. Alright, well, I just have a couple of pitches: Megan discovers a perplexing recipe for a fabled ancient elixir from Ireland called green beer. According to the legend, anyone who drinks the elixir will be able to see the normally invisible leprechaun tracks, giving you a distinct advantage if you’re trying to catch one.

[Emily]
What will you do with it when you catch it?

[Thomas]
The legend I’ve always heard is if you catch one, it’s supposed to give you a wish.

[Emily]
Yeah. Give you a wish or give you its gold.

[Thomas]
Right. One of those. My other pitch: a mischievous leprechaun adds a little leprechaun magic to a small town’s keg of green beer, causing anyone who drinks it to turn into a leprechaun themselves. Now those who imbibed the enchanted brew must work with those who abstained to return the town’s residence back to normal.

[Shep]
There is a lot of overlap in our pitches this week.

[Emily]
There are. Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
And also, like, two of these, I’ve had similar pitches, but threw them out.

[Thomas]
Oh, I see.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
So mine aren’t good enough for you, is what you’re saying?

[Shep]
Harsh.

[Emily]
No, I thought you guys would have them, so I tried to come up with something different.

[Thomas]
Mmhmm.

[Shep]
And you were correct.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So which one of these jumps out at us?

[Emily]
I really like yours. I do like the flask with the good luck and the negative luck the next day.

[Thomas]
I agree. My only concern with that one is the story structure. I do like, though, I guess, that there’s, like, a clear, like, with our Wreath episode, there’s, like, a clear sort of evil, I guess, or like, a negative aspect to what’s going on. And so how do they overcome that? Because it feels like if they just got some luck and then they have to pay it back with bad luck, then once it’s- It’s like they don’t have to do anything to overcome that. Like, it’ll just. Oh, you’ll stub your toe, and then you’re all set. You’re back to even.

[Shep]
Yeah. It’s an allegory for alcoholism. Like, they want to get over their bad luck by drinking more good luck. There’s a finite amount of green beers, though, so once those are gone, they’re going to be out. So someone’s drinking themselves into deeper, deeper luck debt.

[Emily]
Mmhmm.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
And all his friends are like, “You just got to stop. Just stop now and pay your dues. Take your lumps. Because if you drink even more, it’s just going to be worse later.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But it solves the problem right now.

[Emily]
So you could do it with a set of, like, roommates or friends where they all have the green beers, they all have the good luck that night, and then the next day, the bad luck, and then they drink them again, and then they put two and two together and they figure it out. But the one guy, he’s got a gambling addiction as well as an alcoholic, so he’s just keep going. Got to get that good luck, good run.

[Shep]
Let it ride.

[Emily]
Yeah. And they try to have an intervention with. They have to-

[Shep]
They have an intervention about the lucky green beer.

[Thomas]
The aspect of that, Emily, that I really like is that it introduces an external force that doesn’t just end, because it’s like, eventually the green beer will run out. Eventually the luck will even out.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And doesn’t really take our characters doing anything. Whereas if they use that good luck to get a bunch of money from a casino, and now the casino thinks that he cheated or somehow because of the luck, he did cheat or whatever. Now they’re coming after him. So now there is this other thing that won’t just go away, and it is all due to the green beer that he got himself into this situation. Do we like that idea of, the luck creates an unlucky situation they can’t get out of?

[Shep]
I like that idea, especially because you can drink a little bit more beer and postpone it, but the luck is going to be even worse next time.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Ooh, that’s good. Do we… I guess we don’t need a name for the guy who steals the flask.

[Shep]
Lucky.

[Thomas]
Yeah, he’s like lucky Mike or something. But I imagine that’s like the opening credits, right? He steals or. No, no, that’s the opening scene is he steals the flask and is hit by the truck, and then the credits is we watch the montage of it-

[Shep]
The montage of it brewing. Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. And so the end of that opening credit sequence is the finished beers arrive in the cooler case or whatever, and then the door opens, and somebody grabs it out and buys it.

[Shep]
Oh. So it’s like you’re following that one bottle in the center of the frame.

[Thomas]
You’re following the barley, and it goes into the thing, and it goes. And you’re watching it down the bottling line, and a bunch of the bottles go into a case, and we’re following that case onto a truck, and then it goes down some alley into the bodega, and then it gets pushed through from the back into the cooler case, and then. Yeah. Somebody grabs it.

[Emily]
Picked up by a finance bro before their trip to Atlantic City.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So how many characters do we have? We have just four guys?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
Is that the-

[Emily]
I feel like with buddy movies, four is as high as you can really go.

[Thomas]
Are we going to stick with the classic stereotypes?

[Shep]
What are the stereotypes?

[Thomas]
There’s always, like, the cool one who is not really that cool, like he was cool.

[Emily]
Bradley Cooper.

[Thomas]
And then there’s, like, the dorky one who they don’t really take seriously but comes in clutch later.

[Emily]
Ed Helms.

[Shep]
Yeah. It’s just the characters from The Hangover.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
The weird fat guy.

[Thomas]
Yeah, basic.

[Shep]
He’s funny. He’s funny. And then the normal one.

[Thomas]
Yeah, the normal one.

[Shep]
The audience surrogate one.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right. Yeah, exactly. All right.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Thomas]
Got that nailed down. Moving on. Look, that franchise made a ton of money.

[Shep]
Yes, it made a lot of money, but if it had stopped with just the first one, it would be a classic.

[Emily]
Oh, great. Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Yeah.

[Emily]
They absolutely did.

[Shep]
But they ruined it.

[Thomas]
So they’re going to Atlantic City for St. Patrick’s Day?

[Emily]
We don’t have to have them go to Atlantic City originally. That can be later on.

[Thomas]
Oh, right. No, they shouldn’t. Yeah, they’re just going to a party in New York.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
They’re going to a St. Patrick’s Day party.

[Thomas]
One of them likes a girl who’s hosting the party or something like that. He wants to “get lucky” with her.

[Emily]
Ooh. And he does because he drinks the beer.

[Shep]
Oh, man, that has some, like, free will connotations.

[Thomas]
I was going to say. Is that a little…

[Emily]
This whole free will/consent discussion ruined a lot of rom-com tropes. I’m just saying.

[Thomas]
Okay. She also wants to get lucky with him. They’re all talking about how they had this luck happen to them, and they’re all like, “What’s the beer, it must be…” Once they figure out the beer. And he’s like, “Wait, but I wasn’t drinking that at the party. I drank some other thing.” It’s like, “Oh, well, I guess she just likes you, then.”

[Emily]
There you go. He can’t just be, the beer can’t make him charming and have her just like, be like, “Oh, okay, you’re cute.”

[Shep]
Oh, it’s the potion of luck in Harry Potter.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He drinks a regular beer after they’ve discovered that the beer is making them lucky, but he thinks it’s one of the lucky beers, so he’s more self confident. And yes, she already liked him, but he never asked her out because he was always afraid of rejection, and now he’s not afraid of rejection because he’s feeling lucky.

[Emily]
Okay, so at the night of the party, does he drink lucky beer? Because they don’t know yet, right. They won’t know till the next day.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
He could, but he-

[Emily]
Something else lucky happens to him.

[Thomas]
Right. He’s not going to ask her out.

[Emily]
Right. He’s still not confident enough to do that.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
He wins a client or something.

[Thomas]
This is good because then their relationship can stay solid at the end because that negative luck isn’t going to affect that.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
The relationship, because it didn’t come from that.

[Thomas]
The relationship. Yeah, exactly.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
That’s good.

[Emily]
I like then that he networks and gets a client while at this party, like a really good, solid client. It’s going to bring in a good amount of money, and it’s going to make him noticed at his job. And then the next day, you find out that the guy is just, like, batshit crazy. That’s the bad luck. Is that. Yeah, it’s a good account. Yeah. It’s a lot of money. But now I got to deal with this whack job.

[Shep]
Or it’s a really good client, and one of his co-workers steals it from him.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah, that’s good, too. Oh, yeah. Because he gets to the office late when he’s supposed to meet the guy.

[Shep]
Right. He’s late because everything is going wrong that morning.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
So all four of them drink the beer the night of the party?

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
So one of them has this client. What are the other three? Does one of them have a scratch ticket or something?

[Shep]
Yeah. One of them’s got to be gambling.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
That’s what gives him the idea to go to Atlantic City later.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And it’s not a huge win, but it’s like he never wins. We established beforehand. He buys two scratchers at the bodega, and he does one, and he’s like, “Fucking, fucking never win these things.”

[Shep]
Okay. Say one’s work, one’s gambling.

[Emily]
And another one. It should be something sort of innocuous, like, there’s a basketball game on the roof.

[Thomas]
They’re playing horse, and he makes just this ridiculous shot, an impossible, a truly impossible shot to win the game.

[Emily]
Yeah. Right. Yes. So that’s three down. What’s number four got? Is this our fat, crazy guy?

[Thomas]
Oh, that’s the horse guy.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
The fat, crazy guy. It’s got to be the horse guy.

[Shep]
Right. Because he’s the non athletic one of the four.

[Emily]
All right.

[Thomas]
Right. Is this our normal lover boy? Is normal, normal guy, the lover guy, the relationship guy?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I thought that was… Okay.

[Shep]
Oh, you thought it was what?

[Emily]
I was going to say I thought that was the cool, smooth guy, but it’s better if it’s the normal guy.

[Shep]
Right. He’s not smooth.

[Thomas]
So the smooth guy is the business guy. Nerdy guy is the scratcher guy.

[Shep]
Right. That works out because he’s, like, counting cards and, like, he’s got to win.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He’s addicted to gambling. He’s like, “You know, I have nerdy friends in stats class or whatever, and they win all the time. I try to do the same thing and I always lose. It seems impossible, just statistically impossible, that I lose. I counted the cards and I still lost” because he’s naturally unlucky.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
We should come up with names for each of these guys right now.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Emily]
Well, the guy who steals the client is Steve.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right. Yes, obviously.

[Emily]
So the guy who’s in, like, one scene,

[Thomas]
I was going to say Zach. Brad. No, shit.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Can we have a Jeff?

[Thomas]
Yeah. Jeff.

[Emily]
What’s a really trendy, but not weird, but not normal name?

[Shep]
Hal.

[Emily]
Hal.

[Shep]
Yeah, because we were talking about Malcolm in the Middle earlier.

[Emily]
That works.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah. So I got a Jeff and a Hal.

[Thomas]
Simon.

[Shep]
As long as he’s not the nerdy one. Because then it’s-

[Emily]
Yeah, a chipmunk.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah, good point. Roberto.

[Emily]
Tanner. Trevor. Brendan.

[Shep]
I like Brendan.

[Emily]
Brendan? Let’s do Brendan. That’s our cool dude. That’s a cool dude name, right?

[Shep]
Jeff. Hal. Brendan. One more.

[Thomas]
Frazier. No.

[Shep]
Niles. No, that’s Fraser again. I was reading a book, and two of the main characters are Jake and Jacob. And it’s like, come on.

[Thomas]
Why would you do this?

[Shep]
Is this your first novel? It turns out it was.

[Thomas]
Ah.

[Shep]
It’s hard not to come up with names that are, like, from other four guy groups because it’s so prevalent.

[Emily]
Ringo. George. John.

[Thomas]
Who is the… Pete? The other drummer. Right?

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Pete Best.

[Thomas]
Pete Best.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Is there a guy, Pete, at the party who wanted to be part of their friend group but didn’t get to be?

[Emily]
He just. He comes up, “Hey, guys.” And they just turn around, walk away.

[Thomas]
They’re like “~Hi Pete…~”

[Shep]
They like Pete. He used to be one of them.

[Thomas]
So what are the rest of these characters’ roles? We know Brendan’s the cool guy.

[Emily]
I think Vince can be the guy in love.

[Thomas]
And we have Jeff and Hal.

[Shep]
So one of them is the nerd and one of them is the chubby guy.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I realize that I’m using “chubby” as, like, a personality descriptor, which seems wrong.

[Emily]
It does. But it is often used as that.

[Thomas]
I mean, “fat best friend” is like a Hollywood trope.

[Shep]
Yes, that’s true.

[Emily]
Yeah. They made a whole movie about it called Duff. It’s actually a really cute movie. Let’s make Hal the weirdo and Jeff the nerd.

[Shep]
Wait, weirdo and nerd?

[Emily]
What?

[Shep]
See, now I’m thinking of Shallow Hal.

[Emily]
Oh, I have so many problems with that movie.

[Shep]
Yeah, it’s problematic.

[Thomas]
Okay, so. Are we going with weirdo?

[Emily]
Eccentric.

[Thomas]
All right, so Jeff is the nerd, Hal is the eccentric one. Brendan’s the cool guy, and Vince is the normal guy.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
All right, so they go to this party. Jeff has scratchers, right? Hal has the trick shot in the horse game.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Brendan lands a new client. And what happens with Vince?

[Emily]
He has a really good sandwich.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Thomas]
It’s like the best bacon, egg and cheese he’s ever had.

[Shep]
Girls keep giving him their number.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
But he’s not interested in them because he likes the one girl.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So we avoid the problematic thing of him sleeping with someone and what is free will.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But it shows that he’s desirable. That’s what he really wants, is to be desirable. They’re all getting what they want.

[Emily]
Yeah. Monkey’s paw.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Definitely. Here’s a question. Do they take the green beers to the party? Or is that their prefunk? It must be their prefunk, because that way, they have them left over back at their apartment, and they don’t accidentally get drunk by anybody else.

[Shep]
I would like to modify it slightly.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
They bought two cases. They brought one with them. They brought the remainder of one with them. The one they opened, they brought the rest of it with them to the party. Pete drinks one of them as well.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
And so he can talk about what an amazing night he had, he joined a little trivia game, and he knew every an-, like, every question was like something from his life. It was Slum Dog Millionaire, except just for him.

[Thomas]
Right. So the next day, how do they realize that it was the green beer?

[Shep]
Whose apartment has all the remaining green beers?

[Emily]
I assume they all live together because even though they’re finance bros, it’s New York.

[Shep]
It’s New York. But just because they’re friends doesn’t mean they’re roommates. And just because they would be roommates doesn’t mean that they’re friends.

[Emily]
But it’s an expensive city-

[Thomas]
I mean, I could see Jeff and Hal sharing an apartment.

[Emily]
There you go. They share an apartment, so it’s at their place because it was closest to the three residences, and Pete lives next door.

[Thomas]
Well, I think Pete lives in a different building.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
Maybe Vince lives in the same building. And then Brendan, he has money. He lives in Manhattan. So Jeff buys the two scratchers, scratches one before they’ve drunk any beer. Obviously, it’s a loser. He’s frustrated. He’s like, “I’m not even going to bother with. Why should I even bother with the other one?” Doesn’t do it. But then the next day. Is that how they figure out that-

[Emily]
Oh, no. I think we need to see them go through the anti-luck and they- Shit starts going wrong, and then they come back and congregate together and then just kind of talk about their days and all the shitty luck that they had, and then they drink beer, and then someone gets a phone call that blah, blah, blah.

[Shep]
Okay, so he got the client that night because he was at the party and loses it the next day because all of his bad luck, he couldn’t get to the office in time. Hal won the horse game. And then the next day, when he’s going to the gym to whatever, play a pickup game, just is completely clumsy and nothing’s working right. Can’t make any shot.

[Thomas]
Does he, like, sprain his finger or something? He, like, tries to catch the ball and it-

[Shep]
Yeah, we’ve all been there. So they get together that evening to complain about their days where just everything went wrong. “Oh, you think your day was bad? Let me tell you about my day,” over the remaining beers.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So this is at Hal and Jeff’s apartment?

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Emily]
Yeah, because that’s where the beers ended up.

[Shep]
Right. Their apartment is in between where Brendan and Vince live. So it’s like, just the central meeting place. So while Hal is complaining about how uncoordinated he was, he does something like he flips a card and it flies just right to land in a hat. Whatever. And he’s know, “Where was this earlier? How come I couldn’t do” you know whatever. And then he throws three more, and they keep landing right in. And he’s like, “What?”

[Thomas]
Right. Somebody. Oh, Jeff, of course, goes, “Wow, that was like a one in a million shot,” whatever the statistic is.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
And then he does it, like you said, two more times, perfectly. And he’s like, “Wow, what are the odds of that?” He goes, “There aren’t any.”

[Shep]
He’s got to be holding the beer in his other hand.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So it’s got to be blazingly obvious.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Is that enough for them to know what’s going on or suspect that it’s the beer?

[Emily]
In movie world, yes. But I think if we had one or two more have something happen to him in that short time frame.

[Thomas]
This has to be the, like, a series of incredibly unlikely events happen where they’re like, “What is going on? This is incredibly lucky.” Okay, Jeff and Hal have figured this out, or they’re onto it. They suspect something’s going on. They think it might be the beer, but they’re both feeling the effects. There’s no way to scientifically test this. So when Vince comes down after work to complain, he comes in and they’re like, “Dude, you’ve got to try this.”

[Shep]
“I’ve had beer before.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
“I had this beer last night.”

[Thomas]
They get him to try something. Of course it doesn’t work because it’s impossible. “Okay, now drink the beer.” And then he’s able to do it every time, perfectly.

[Shep]
What is it that he does? He’s the love one, though, so what’s-

[Thomas]
But it doesn’t have to be the same luck for them every time. I mean, if Jeff has set up this experiment, then it can be Jeff’s thing.

[Shep]
Yeah. They play poker, the four of them, and each one has an amazing hand every time. Like, they all get four of a kind. It’s impossible.

[Thomas]
Okay, so let’s say that’s what happens. They play poker or whatever or blackjack or something. They play some game. They all always win. And then somebody suggests to Jeff, “Wait, I know the ultimate test. A scratcher. You never win those. If you win on the scratcher, then we know this is happening for real.” And he does. He wins $20 or something.

[Shep]
Some reasonable amount that he can lose later.

[Emily]
Right,

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
When he’s unlucky.

[Thomas]
It is a scratcher, after all.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
So then that’s how they get the idea to go to Atlantic City?

[Emily]
Well, do we want that to be they go to Atlantic City and then they discover the bad luck there? Or do we want them to kind of figure that piece out, and then Jeff just can’t let it go, so he ends up going to Atlantic City, and they have to go and find him?

[Shep]
How far is it to Atlantic City?

[Thomas]
I was just looking that up. Yeah.

[Emily]
From New York, like, it’s not very far at all. People do it in a night constantly.

[Shep]
Yeah, in a night. But how long?

[Thomas]
It’s about a two hour drive.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So is it enough time to sober up? That’s my question.

[Thomas]
Oh, they’re not going that night, though. They’ve got the beer. They know it’s the beer. They have the beer.

[Emily]
Mmm.

[Thomas]
So the next day or that weekend or whatever, they’re going to go down to Atlantic City. Oh, sure. Because this is a Monday, right. They went to the party on Saturday, or it has to be Sunday. It’d have to be the next day, because that negative luck has to happen basically during the hangover period.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right. But so they decide, “Okay, this weekend we’re totally going to Atlantic City. Friday night, we’re going to drive down there, drink the beers, gamble, win a whole bunch of money.” So it feels like everything leading up to this decision to go to Atlantic City is the first act. And so that switch from the first to the second act is they make that decision and they go, and then things are going well. And then is the mid second act turning point the next day’s hangover, or is that too far out? I feel like that feels too far out.

[Emily]
Well, I think because they’re going to have a hangover the next day or luck hangover the next day from this night that they’re making the plan. Right?

[Thomas]
Yeah. Good point.

[Emily]
So maybe one of them starts to kind of get suspicious of it.

[Thomas]
So then this is the beginning of the second act. Monday after work is the start of the second act?

[Emily]
Yeah, that could be. We could spend a lot of time with them at the party doing their thing, and then see all of the bad luck they have throughout the next day.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I think it works. I’m sure Shep has opinions.

[Shep]
No, I agree. I think that long first act gives time to establish the characters and what they want from their luck before they have the good luck. We already establish, this one wants to win at gambling. This one wants to be good at sports. This one wants to be lucky in love, et cetera. And then you have the party, and then you have the good luck, and then you have the luck hangover. That’s a lot.

[Emily]
It’s a solid first act.

[Shep]
That’s a solid first act.

[Emily]
When does Vince have that moment of confidence? False luck.

[Thomas]
That’s at the end, isn’t it?

[Shep]
No, he’s got to be what he thinks is lucky in the second act.

[Thomas]
Oh.

[Emily]
Yeah. So he has that before they go to Atlantic City.

[Shep]
Does he have it before they go to Atlantic City? I, see, I don’t know how I feel about them all going to Atlantic City.

[Emily]
They don’t all have to go to Atlantic City. It could just be Jeff that goes. But they would at some point, need to rescue him because he’s going to do something stupid because he keeps drinking the beer, and the next day keeps getting in deeper and deeper trouble.

[Shep]
Oh, oh, okay. We have a couple problems, and they’re all going to overlap.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
Jeff goes to Atlantic City that night. He’s like, “Let’s all go.” And they’re like, “No, it’s a two hour drive away. We’re not… On a work night.” Yeah.

[Emily]
“It’s 10:00. i got to go to work tomorrow.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But he goes. But by the time he’s there, the luck has worn off. And so he loses and loses and loses, and his normal luck, and it’s even worse. So he comes back and he steals the rest of the lucky beers. Well, steals. They’re in his apartment. He takes the rest of the lucky beers.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Maybe they bought three cases, two of which were lucky, one of which isn’t. And so for the second half of the second act, that’s when somewhere in there, that’s when Vince drinks from the remaining case what he thinks is a lucky beer to work up his courage to go ask the one girl out. But those aren’t the lucky beers because Jeff took all the lucky beers and went back to Atlantic City. So he’s staying in Atlantic City, and he’s just drinking beers and gambling. So everyone else gets through their luck, their second luck hangover the following day, Tuesday, except for Jeff, who’s gone off on his own.

[Emily]
Mmm. I like it. That works for me.

[Thomas]
And so now Jeff has all of the beer? He took both remaining cases?

[Shep]
There’s only one remaining lucky case.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Okay, so he took that one.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And so the unlucky or the non lucky, the normal beer is left behind.

[Shep]
Right. How does he know that it’s normal? He must open one and pour it in a glass and see that it’s not green.

[Emily]
Well, if that’s the case, how does Vince not know? Does he just drink it straight out of the bottle?

[Thomas]
They could all also assume that both cases are lucky. Jeff just grabs one.

[Shep]
Oh, there are two unopened ones and one lucky beer left in the other case.

[Emily]
Mmhmm.

[Shep]
And he drinks that one and grabs one of the two cases, and it happens to be the lucky one because he’s lucky right at that moment.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But he can’t stop drinking it because as soon as he does, his car’s going to break down. He’ll get pulled over for speeding. There’s all the unlucky things, all the unlucky things that were happening to him on the way back from Atlantic City when he’s deep in that luck hangover. So as soon as he gets back, he drinks the last lucky beer from the first case.

[Thomas]
All right, well, this seems like a great time for us to take a break, and when we come back, we’ll figure out the rest of our story for our lucky green beer.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we are back. So Jeff has just taken the last case of lucky beer and headed off to Atlantic City. This is, what, like a Tuesday?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And everyone else is just kind of going about their life? Had they made plans to use the lucky beers, or at this point, do they realize the bad luck hangover is a thing, or is Jeff just like “The lucky beer wore off. And that’s why this string of bad luck happened, because I’m a naturally unlucky person, as evidenced by my scratch cards.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
“I can never win at gambling. I’m just cursed unless I have the beer.” So he hasn’t made that connection yet.

[Shep]
Right. Everyone else has made it because they had the second unlucky day after their second lucky night, and they’re like, “Oh, I get it.”

[Thomas]
Right. And they all have each other to talk to about it.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Like, “Did you have an unlucky day also?”

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
I think that maybe the beer is, like, you said, Emily, a monkey’s paw.

[Emily]
Yeah. I think that Hal should actually say the words, “I think that beer’s a monkey’s paw” and have everyone look at him like he’s insane. Like, “What does that even mean? What are you talking about?” Because young people don’t know these things now.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Thomas]
Or we could just make the beer Monkey’s Paw Beer and never call attention to it other than you see it at the beginning on the label.

[Emily]
This is true. I kind of like that. But-

[Thomas]
That would be kind of funny. So when do they realize that Jeff is in trouble? How long can Jeff stay on the effects of the beer? How many does he have? Does he have twelve beers? Is it cans or bottles?

[Shep]
Bottles.

[Thomas]
So twelve, probably. Right?

[Emily]
I would say for a bottle. Yeah, it’s going to be a twelve pack.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Plus it’s sold in a bodega, so they need to consolidate space.

[Thomas]
Good point. Good point.

[Emily]
So, yeah, twelve pack. But he also has a low tolerance, so maybe that gives him the luck longer because…

[Thomas]
Right. The effects last a little longer for him.

[Emily]
Yeah, because he has that slow metabolism.

[Thomas]
Sure. How lucky. So he’d have to be sneaking back to his room all the time because they’re not going to let him just bring his own beer to the floor.

[Shep]
Why would they care if you’re bringing your own beer to the floor? They want you to be drunk.

[Thomas]
That’s a good point. They want you to drink their drinks, though.

[Shep]
I found a post from 2008 where they talk about it and as long as it’s not a can, because if it’s a can, they know that you brought it in because cans aren’t available.

[Emily]
Mmm.

[Shep]
But if it’s a bottle, then it might have been something that you got there. So they’ll overlook it.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
Mmm.

[Shep]
And it is bottles we established.

[Emily]
We have our answers.

[Thomas]
And if he’s lucky…

[Emily]
They’re not going to notice.

[Thomas]
They’re not going to question, they’re just going to be like, “Yeah, great. Good.”

[Emily]
I think in the first night that he’s gambling with the lucky beer, he should end the night on a high note, have his big winnings, go back to his hotel room with not a friend. Because that’s a questionable thing.

[Shep]
And he doesn’t care about that.

[Emily]
That’s true.

[Shep]
He’s not there to pick up a woman. He’s there to win money. Which he did.

[Thomas]
Exactly. He’s there for business. It’s all business.

[Shep]
Right. It’s business time.

[Emily]
He goes to bed with big wins, and then wakes up to… security, had reviewed the tapes and noticed he was maybe counting cards or-

[Shep]
Well, do we want him to be in trouble with the casino at this point?

[Emily]
No, you’re right. Let’s not do that. Did he win money off of a poker game from… maybe not the mob at this point, but a big, burly, angry man?

[Shep]
That’s got to be the third thing.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
So he has bad luck now. And then he has bad luck with the casino and he can’t gamble anymore. And that’s when he finds the-

[Emily]
Oh, the underground game.

[Thomas]
Yeah, exactly.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
So what’s his trouble the first time?

[Shep]
The fire alarm goes off.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
That’s what wakes him up because his bad luck has already kicked in and he has to go down twelve flights of stairs, whatever floor he’s on.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Oh, does he still gamble after knowing? No, because he knows he needs the beer for that. Never mind. Because I was thinking somehow he could lose all of his winnings.

[Shep]
Oh. Someone could break into his room while he’s gone.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. If he has bad luck, the door kind of sticks. So on the way out, his door doesn’t shut fully.

[Emily]
Okay,

[Thomas]
So he’s in like robe and slippers. He’s going down all these flights of stairs, but his door hasn’t fully shut. So when he comes back, he finds-

[Emily]
Someone is rifled through her stuff.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah. Okay. Checks out. That’s good.

[Thomas]
And then on the way down the stairs, somebody behind him steps on one of the slippers and the slipper tears and is useless now, and then at some point, his robe gets caught in the door. I don’t know. There’s a thing- negative things that can happen to him.

[Shep]
Right. It gets caught in the door on the way out, and the door closes, and he can’t open it because it locks on the outside.

[Thomas]
Right. Yeah. And it’s cold because it’s March. So he goes back in, drinks some more beer, wins his money again.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Does even better this time, which raises the hackles of the casino. This guy has been on a hot streak. He hasn’t lost a hand. He has to be cheating. And so they kick him out.

[Shep]
Yes. He’s blacklisted.

[Thomas]
Yeah. He can’t get into any of the other casinos because that’s how it works. And somebody who saw him winning a lot of money knows that he has a lot of money to lose, potentially. Not realizing that he has this horseshoe stuck up his ass, invites him to this underground game. So this is Wednesday or Thursday?

[Emily]
Thursday.

[Shep]
Thursday?

[Emily]
Yeah, this would be Thursday. Because Tuesday night he goes back, wins big. Wednesday, he’s woken up by the fire alarm, loses his slipper, robe gets stuck in the door, loses his money, drinks, wins the money again.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Thursday morning “You were counting cards.”

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
“Get out of here, boy.” And then now it’s Thursday night.

[Thomas]
Is it Thursday morning that that happens, or does the casino kick him out Wednesday night? Oh, no, it has to be Thursday morning because he’s on the luck. They’re not going to kick him out while he’s on the luck.

[Shep]
Or he keeps gambling. So he drinks the beer before he goes down. And he goes down and he gambles. And he gambles so long that it wears off. And so he has negative luck while he’s gambling at the casino. That’s when they kick him out. So it’s that night. And so he’s like, “No, just let me go back to my room.”

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
And whatever. And they’re super suspicious. Whatever he’s going on. He’s got some device that he’s counting cards stuck up his butt. So, no, he’s not allowed to go back to his room.

[Emily]
But now he’s lost the beer.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Well, he gets his stuff, but he doesn’t get to go back up to his room before-

[Emily]
Oh, they bring it down to him.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
So it’s like Thursday, early a.m.?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Now, is the invitation to the underground game lucky or unlucky?

[Emily]
I’m going to say unlucky because it’s with a nefarious outfit.

[Thomas]
I agree. Right.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Thomas]
And they’ve targeted him.

[Shep]
Right. So he gets invited before he drinks another beer.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Emily]
Because they’re going to take him for all he’s worth, thinking he has more money than he does because he literally has nothing now.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Well, the casino would cash him out. They can’t prove that he was cheating. Right? Isn’t that how it works?

[Shep]
Yeah, but he only has his second day’s winnings because the first days were stolen.

[Thomas]
Right. And so in his mind, because I was thinking like, oh, wouldn’t he realize this is a bad luck thing? But in his mind, he’s like, it doesn’t matter. I have more beer. I’ll drink the beers, I’ll turn what money I have into even more money at this underground game and then leave.

[Shep]
Yeah. So how do his friends catch up with them?

[Thomas]
So he has to be in trouble to call them, right? Or are they already on their way because they have to notice it. “Hey, Jeff hasn’t been around.”

[Emily]
Well, yeah, Hal notices he’s not there because they live together.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
And he calls around and asks Brendan and Vince, have you seen or heard from Jeff? And they realize that they haven’t since Tuesday.

[Thomas]
When he talked about wanting to go to Atlantic City.

[Emily]
Right. Now, Hal being eccentric, does he have an air tag type lowjack on Jeff just because he’s overprotective?

[Thomas]
They’re roommates. They just have Find My Phone.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
They have each other’s. I mean, cell phones cause so many problems in movies. Let’s use it to our advantage and say that he does.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
It solves a problem. They know he’s in Atlantic City, so they’re maybe already on their way to go pick him up.

[Emily]
Yeah, because this is like Thursday, right? So he’s been gone for two whole days. They don’t know. They haven’t heard from him.

[Thomas]
Or do they just call to check on him?

[Shep]
Oh, so in between this, because it’s not just Jeff.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
In between this, this is when we have Vince asking the girl out when he thinks he’s lucky-

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
And she says yes, and then they are like, “Oh, Jeff is in Atlantic City. His luck’s going to wear off. We need to go get him. We need to go and let him know. We tried to call him, but his phone’s off or whatever.” Or it got stolen during the. Oh, no, we can’t get it stolen because that’s how they find him. Okay. Neverm- Forget I said that.

[Thomas]
Well, I mean, we might be able to use that if it gets stolen during the fire alarm situation.

[Emily]
The thief still in Atlantic City.

[Thomas]
Right. It’s still in Atlantic City.

[Emily]
So they at least know he’s in Atlantic City. Maybe the thief is still in the hotel. Maybe the thief is a hotel maid.

[Shep]
I’d like it to just be another guest.

[Emily]
Okay, that works too. Little old lady.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
She’s like “No one would ever suspect.”

[Emily]
Yeah, exactly.

[Shep]
And they call the phone, and it rings from her purse. So they are going to rescue their friend from what they assume is bad luck, which is correct. But they have beers which they think are good luck, which are not.

[Thomas]
Correct.

[Emily]
Correct.

[Shep]
So they go to rescue him, and they track the phone, and it doesn’t lead to him, it leads to the old lady. So, like, they’re drinking the beers, trying to be lucky to find him, and they can’t find him. The reason that they can find him later is when he calls them after he uses up all his luck at the game. The underground game.

[Emily]
Because he needs to pay those guys now.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
And he knows that they have that other case of beer that he doesn’t know isn’t lucky yet.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
So he calls them to be like, “Hey, bring that beer.” Instead of actually asking for money, he’s like, “Bring the other case of beer. I need to get out of something.”

[Shep]
Yeah. And they’re like, “Good news. We’re already in Atlantic City and we have the beer.” So they each drink a beer, going to casino to gamble to win the money, and they all lose because the odds are against you. Now what? Now that we’ve gotten to this point, and they’re like, “Oh, these aren’t lucky beers.”

[Thomas]
I feel like Hal should win a slot machine, but it’s one of those ones where it’s like, “Oh, you get two tickets to the buffet,” you know. It’s one of those kind of.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
“Did anybody win anything?” It’s like. “No.” “No.” “I did!” “Oh, how much did you win?” “Um, well…”

[Shep]
No, he’s got to be excited.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He thinks it’s such a.

[Thomas]
Oh, that’s true.

[Shep]
“Two tickets to the buffet.” “That doesn’t help us.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. So Vince is like, “The buffet tickets don’t help.” And he’s like, “Okay, well, I know which one of you I’m not taking with me to the buffet.”

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
Yep. So that’s- Is that when they realize those beers aren’t lucky? Because there’s no way-

[Thomas]
Right. So none of them know at the time of the phone call-

[Emily]
Mm mm.

[Thomas]
None of them know that third case is unlucky.

[Shep]
Not lucky. It’s not unlucky.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
It’s just not lucky.

[Thomas]
It’s not lucky.

[Emily]
Not lucky.

[Thomas]
That’s right. So how do they get out of this situation?

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Because they are-

[Shep]
Now that we’ve painted ourselves deep into a corner.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right. Oh, does Pete come to the rescue somehow?

[Emily]
Pete could come to the rescue.

[Thomas]
Okay, I like Pete coming to the rescue. You said at one point at the party, Pete drank one of the lucky beers.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Did he grab two, but only drink one? So there’s one lucky beer left, and maybe somebody even knows that, and they’re like, “Holy shit, Pete has one.” Or, because it’s lucky beer. Pete’s like, “I had so much fun hanging out with the guys the other day. Like, I want to go hang out with them again,” and lucks his way into finding them? Or is that a bridge too far?

[Shep]
Okay. So Pete calls them at some point while they’re in Atlantic City, and he wants to hang out, and they’re like, “We can’t hang out. We’re in Atlantic City. We’re busy.” Hang up. And so Pete interprets this as, “We’re in Atlantic City, come hang out.” So he drives to Atlantic City on his own.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
He’s like, “Yeah, I’m going to see my best friends.”

[Thomas]
Right. And they even say, “We’re at the whatever casino.” So he knows where they are. Why does he bring the beer?

[Shep]
Oh, dang it. Thomas always asks the hard question. Or maybe he doesn’t intentionally bring it. He just still has it in his car.

[Emily]
Yeah. It’s still in his car because his coat was still in his car from the party, and it was in the pocket of his coat.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
He just-

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So he puts his coat on, and he feels something in the pocket, and he’s like, “Oh, it’s one of the bears from the party.” And then he opens it right away, and they’re, “No, no, no!”

[Thomas]
That’s good. I like that.

[Shep]
So they have to drink it now and do whatever they need to do to get their friend out of trouble before the luck wears off.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
They’ve all got to share it so that they’re all lucky-

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So that it can overcome Jeff’s massive luck hangover, that has a huge amount of negative luck.

[Thomas]
One question I was going to ask earlier, too, is: Jeff is not only affected by the luck, but also the alcohol. Right? So he is, like, plowed while he is playing.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And then, like, horribly hungover while the bad luck is happening.

[Shep]
That’s why he played so long, because he was drunk and so he just kept gambling.

[Thomas]
Right. And the alcohol kind of, I don’t know, caused him not to think rationally about, “Hey, I should be stopping and leaving with my winnings now.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah. Because he crossed that.

[Thomas]
Right. It’s in its invisible line. He doesn’t know when he’s going to cross it.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
So he goes all in on something that he really oughtn’t have.

[Emily]
Oh. So someone has to win money, so they’re going to go pay at least a portion of it. Right? Of his gambling debt back. And when they go to pay, Jeff keeps saying or doing something that just keeps making it worse and worse and worse. And they’re like, “Just shut up and let us pay the man.”

[Thomas]
So do we need to figure out how they actually get away? I think more important than that is there are going to be consequences that they’re going to have to face.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
All of them, especially Jeff. So what are those consequences on Friday?

[Shep]
Okay, well, he got fired, obviously.

[Emily]
Because he just didn’t call or go or nothing.

[Shep]
Oh. This is when all the bad luck is happening, which they anticipate. They’re like, “Okay, tomorrow morning is going to suck.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And it’s really bad for Jeff. He gets home and he’s hungover, and a rat got into his dresser and shat on all of his clothes-

[Emily]
And had babies.

[Shep]
And had babies. And he goes to take a shower.

[Thomas]
There’s a literal rat’s nest in his dresser.

[Shep]
Yes. He goes to take a shower and the hot water is not heated, not working, just everything. Everything that could go- He goes open his bedroom door and the knob comes off in his hand. He’s like, “Yeah, that tracks.” So this is when Vince gets a call from the girl that he asked out earlier, and he’s like, “Oh, she’s going to break up with me” because this is the negative-

[Thomas]
She is going to cancel the date.

[Shep]
Right. She’s going to cancel the date, because it’s Friday. This is the night that the date is going to happen.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Oh, right.

[Shep]
And so he’s like, “I understand if you got to cancel or whatever.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And she’s like, “What are you talking about? I just want to work out some of the details.”

[Emily]
I like that. Their consequences wouldn’t be as great as Jeff’s because they didn’t consume as much. Right?

[Shep]
Right. Especially the last beer where they each had a little bit of it.

[Emily]
Just a little bit. So Hal’s buffet is terrible. It’s a breakfast buffet. It’s just awful.

[Thomas]
It’s a breakfast buffet. It’s just all like, dry ass pastries.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And he’s like, “Well, at least it’ll be an omelet bar.” And there’s not.

[Emily]
Nope.

[Shep]
“We just ran out. I’m sorry, sir.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
“I’m sorry, omelet bar closes at ten.”

[Emily]
“Unlimited mimosas?” “Our champagne shipment didn’t make it this morning.”

[Thomas]
“It’s only on Saturdays.”

[Emily]
Oh, yeah. That’s only on Saturdays. I like that. That’s his bad luck.

[Thomas]
Right. They’re in the hotel room or they’re in the lobby or whatever. Or maybe on the big ticket, it says like, oh, here are the features of the, he’s like, “Oh, look, they’ve got an omelet bar and bottomless mimosas.”

[Emily]
Chocolate fountain. But then he goes to it, it’s just all gloopy and congealed.

[Thomas]
Oh, it’s not nice and smooth. Yeah. Or there’s some kid, like, drinking the chocolate from and he’s just like, “No.”

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Emily]
And Brendan, since he’s the cool guy, his bad luck’s not going to be as bad as everybody’s bad luck because he’s pretty. Right? That’s how that works.

[Shep]
Yes. Unfortunately, yes.

[Emily]
I don’t know what happens to him. That would be a minor inconvenience. Oh. His credit card gets declined for, like, a taxi, and when he calls the credit card company, they’re like, “Oh, yeah, I see. It’s just this administrative error. It’ll be resolved in a day or so.” Like, it’s still not great, but.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. It’s like his card was flagged-

[Emily]
Oh, because it’s in Atlantic City.

[Thomas]
Because. Exactly. Suddenly it’s in Atlantic City and so it’s been flagged and they’re like, “Oh, yeah, we’ll remove that flag. But it could take up to 24 hours for your card to start working again, we apologize for the inconvenience.”

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s great. What’s Pete’s hangover? What’s his bad luck hangover?

[Shep]
They just leave him in Atlantic City. They go back without him.

[Emily]
They forget he’s there.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
They forget he’s there.

[Thomas]
He’s like at the breakfast buffet looking for their table. “Where did they-?”

[Emily]
Oh, and the little old lady pickpockets him.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
That’s- great callback.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Emily]
Poor Pete.

[Thomas]
All right. Is there anything else we need to figure out? The date goes well. Do we see the date?

[Shep]
Do we need to see the date?

[Thomas]
I don’t think we need to see it.

[Emily]
No.

[Thomas]
We expect that she’s going to cancel and she’s, she says, “I have bad news. I tried to get us a table at whatever.”

[Emily]
Oh, yeah. The reservation didn’t go through. That’s his bad luck hangover.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
But she’s like, “But I have this other plan.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I think we should see the date, the more that I think about it.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah,

[Shep]
Because he could talk about the crazy week that he had and luck and life and whatever.

[Thomas]
I like that because it gives him something interesting to talk about on the date. And he, I don’t know, he has that confidence. Does he consciously realize that getting the date was not an act of luck?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
He must at some point when they realize those beers are not lucky.

[Shep]
Right. He doesn’t put it together at that point. He puts it together later when she doesn’t cancel the date because he’s expecting her to cancel, but she doesn’t. And he’s like, “Oh, that’s right. Those weren’t lucky beers. Those were regular beers.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So the lesson of the movie is just roll with the punches. Sometimes you have good luck, sometimes you have bad luck.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Just accept it.

[Emily]
And don’t let the good luck convince you life is going to be perfect.

[Shep]
And don’t let the bad luck convince you that life is always going to be terrible.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
And don’t gamble.

[Thomas]
It’s not worth it. Well, those are our thoughts. We’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode about Green Beer. Does it get the green light or does it look better through beer goggles? Let us know by leaving a comment on our website, reaching out on social media, or sending us an email. Links to all of those can be found at AlmostPlausible.com. Have a happy St. Patrick’s Day, and if you’re going to go out drinking, be sure to pre-arrange a way to get home. We want you to be safe, and we want you to join Emily, Shep, and I on the next episode of Almost Plausible.

[Outro music]

[Emily]
It’s Dearg Due.

[Thomas]
I say we don’t do that one so that I don’t have to try to pronounce that for the whole episode.

[Emily]
I did not look up the pronunciation 17 times before recording. I still know I’m not saying it correctly.

[Thomas]
Are we all looking it up now?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
I’m close, but I know it’s not right.

[Shep]
“Da ruga dua.” Dearg Due.

[Emily]
Dearg Due. Yeah, that’s right.