Almost Plausible

Ep. 32

Shampoo

13 September 2022

Runtime: 01:00:09

Charlie is comfortable with his life just the way it is. But a chance encounter with a vendor of homemade bath products at a farmers' market turns Charlie's old, familiar life on its head. It's a return to magical reality in our episode about shampoo, and we follow Charlie as he struggles to get back the life he lost—with a few important changes.

References

Transcript

[Intro music begins]

[Thomas]
Like a magical type of world. Seussian nature, perhaps?

[Shep]
What?

[Thomas]
Seussian in nature?

[Emily]
Like Dr. Seuss?

[Thomas]
You know, like Dr. Seuss?

[Thomas]
Zoisian? If that helps.

[Shep]
Okay, thank you.

[Thomas]
If we want to be correct about it. Be all pedantic.

[Shep]
Me, pedantic?

[Thomas]
Me pedantic?

[Shep]
You’re goddamn right.

[Thomas]
One of the three of us, pedantic?

[Intro music]

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Welcome to Almost Plausible, the podcast where we take ordinary objects and turn them into movies. If you’ve never listened to the show before, I’m Thomas J. Brown. And joining me are my friends Emily-

[Emily]
Hey, guys.

[Thomas]
And F. Paul Shepard.

[Shep]
Happy to be here.

[Thomas]
Each episode we take an everyday object and work together to come up with a movie plot where that object plays a critical role. This week, the object we have chosen is shampoo. Should be a quick one. Just call Warren Beatty and Goldie Haunt and we’ll be all set. Right? No, I guess that one’s already been done. Well, like any good writer’s room, we start out with story pitches on our show. Shep, it’s your turn to get us going this week.

[Shep]
Okay. A firefighting cadet, two college professors and a geeky but sexy government scientist work against an alien organism that has been rapidly evolving since its arrival on Earth inside a meteor. Its weakness turns out to be selenium, an ingredient in Head & Shoulders shampoo. Okay, that’s actually the plot of Evolution, the 2001 movie.

[Emily]
Oh, that’s right. I haven’t seen that in so long.

[Shep]
Yeah, probably 20 years or more.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Okay. My actual pitch: at a farmers’ market, someone discovers homemade shampoo that quote unquote, “makes you feel like a brand-new person.” They try it and when they step out of the shower, they are in fact a completely different person. They start living as this new person and realize they haven’t finished the instructions on the bottle, having not done the third step, which is ‘repeat’. And that if they wash their hair again with that strange shampoo, they will return to their previous life.

[Thomas]
I was trying to think of a magic shampoo idea and I wasn’t ever able to get one together. So I like this.

[Emily]
I had a thought very similar to this, but I abandoned it. I like yours.

[Shep]
It’s magical reality, which is my jam. I was picturing that it’s not the real world. Like they’re still in the shower and once they go back and finish the job, they return to their life that is paused during this. Like, what was that Nicholas Cage movie? The one where he sees what his life would have been if he-

[Emily]
Oh, The Family Man?

[Shep]
Family Man. Yes.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Shep]
So kind of like that.

[Emily]
I could see that.

[Thomas]
So not like Vampire’s Kiss then?

[Shep]
No. So not a real world. But also if you, like “Oh, I’ll use that shampoo that takes me to a magical reality and do whatever I want.” If you go to prison, you can never wash your hair with that shampoo. So you’re stuck there. So don’t commit crimes even in your dreams.

[Emily]
Makes sense.

[Shep]
That’s it for me.

[Thomas]
I have a couple of really quick ones. My first one is a guy falls in love with the woman on a shampoo commercial. Don’t know what happens, but that seemed like a thing that could happen.

[Shep]
Now, in love with the actress or the character the actress is playing?

[Thomas]
I feel like he’s a little unhinged, maybe. So the character. My other idea is a woman wins a trip to a tropical country because she bought the winning bottle of shampoo in a promotion being run by the shampoo company. So I imagine it’s something kind of like Herbal Essences or whatever, where they have that tropical feel. And so to boost sales, they hold a contest and she gets the winning bottle.

[Shep]
It has a golden ticket inside and she and five others go to the shampoo factory.

[Thomas]
Yeah. So I was thinking of different ways this one could go. So I imagine maybe there’s a spa in the middle of a jungle in Bali or whatever. So it’s supposed to be this week of just pampering herself at this spa, but then maybe it’s a horror movie.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah. You could go a lot of places with it. I was thinking we could do… what’s the one where they go to a Turkish prison? Midnight Express? Anyway, where somehow she goes in, something to do with the shampoo, she’s inadvertently smuggling drugs into a very strict country and then ends up in prison.

[Thomas]
Honestly, even if that’s not what it is, the idea that that’s why she’s going there and then the whole trip gets derailed, I think that’s a great way to go with it, too. Those are my two. Emily, what do you have?

[Emily]
Well, there are all kinds of shampoos on the market, right? You got shampoos that make your hair curly, sleek, shiny, voluminous, anything you can imagine, really. What if someone released a new line of shampoos that could help you overcome your greatest weakness?

[Shep]
Kryptonite.

[Emily]
Yes, exactly. Can imbue the consumer with more confidence, patience, even sex appeal. But we all know magic elixirs are too good to be true and come at a price. These shampoos, of course, come with the price of they drain your greatest attribute. So while you’re gaining new confidence, you’re losing your ability to forward think. And the only way to get that back is to buy that shampoo that improves that product and gets you into a never ending cycle of consumerism.

[Shep]
Isn’t this kind of like the Wonder Woman 1984? You get what you wish for, but you lose-

[Emily]
I see where you go with that.

[Thomas]
It’s like a love story to capitalism.

[Shep]
Yeah. Capitalism doesn’t get enough love.

[Emily]
No.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
But capitalism pays the bills is what I’m saying.

[Shep]
Does it? Because I’ve still got bills.

[Emily]
I know it doesn’t pay the bill.

[Thomas]
Capitalism creates the bills.

[Emily]
It puts you on the conveyor belt to continuously keep going into a loop. Then for my final pitch, a small mountain town doctor is faced with a sudden onset of illnesses and deaths. At first they’re perplexed, but soon discover the culprit is an uncommon poison. The doctor joins forces with the county sheriff to discover the source of the poisoning. And the nefarious character behind it is an organic shampoo artisan who sells their wares at state fairs. This person’s just looking to kill a bunch of people at once. They’re not a serial killer. I’m going to point that out. They’re a mass murderer.

[Thomas]
Right. Because it’s a single event.

[Emily]
Single event.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
That answers the question I was going to ask, which is, is this an intentional poisoning?

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
So, yes, it is.

[Emily]
It’s an intentional poison because I was trying to figure out how to make a serial killer using shampoo, but I was like after the Tylenol incident in the 80s, it’s really hard to get away with that kind of thing.

[Shep]
It turns out the ingredient that was killing them was selenium and they were actually alien invaders-

[Thomas]
There we go.

[Shep]
That had taken over human hosts.

[Emily]
I’m kind of for the magical realism that Shep pitched.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I like that one. Or the one that I pitched about the woman winning the trip, because I like the idea, Emily, that you brought up just she never makes it to the destination. Something else happens, she gets derailed.

[Emily]
Totally. And it’s all the shampoo’s fault, though.

[Thomas]
Because she would never have gone on the trip if she hadn’t won the contest.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
So-

[Emily]
What do we want?

[Shep]
What do we want? Let’s get started.

[Thomas]
I guess the tension in both of the ideas is fairly obvious. It’s been a while since we’ve done a magical reality, hasn’t it? Or has it?

[Shep]
Has it? I’m always going for magical reality.

[Emily]
I think it’s been a while since we’ve done, like, a real intense magical reality.

[Thomas]
Right. I mean, I will say, like listening to all of the pitches, this is the one that jumped out at me the most.

[Emily]
I agree.

[Thomas]
All right, well, then let’s go down this trail.

[Emily]
Do we know anything about the person making the shampoo? Is that important to the plot in any way whatsoever?

[Shep]
Not really. It’s based on I have friends who make soap, like their family makes soap and stuff like that. There’s got to be someone that just makes shampoo.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So that kicked off the idea.

[Thomas]
Well, is this a person at a farmer’s market who is selling various sort of bath products, have their own homemade soaps and shampoo and chapstick and deodorant and stuff like that?

[Shep]
Yeah. So you set up the sequel.

[Thomas]
Yeah, there you go.

[Shep]
They go back to the farmers’ market at the end and they’re like, “It really did make you feel like a different person.” “If you like this, try the conditioner.”

[Thomas]
That’s very good. So is this one of those, like, behind the table sort of things. It’s not out. It’s the special secret shampoo that they only bring out when they have the right kind of conversation with the person? They’re like, “Oh, I’ve got just a thing for you.”

[Shep]
I mean, I imagine that it’s just a regular booth that nobody goes to.

[Emily]
Because who’s going to buy weird hippie shampoo at the fair?

[Shep]
It’s not a fair. It’s a farmer’s market.

[Emily]
At the farmer’s market. Sorry.

[Thomas]
I like the idea of a shampoo and soap and bath products type of booth that’s run by hippies who smell.

[Emily]
Yeah, 100%. You know they smell like patchouli and pig sweat.

[Thomas]
So nobody ever buys anything because you walk up and you’re just like, “Oh, God, it must not work.”

[Emily]
Right? If they’re selling it.

[Thomas]
If they smell this strongly.

[Shep]
Turns out it’s not them. It’s something nearby that stinks. It’s just very unfortunate placement.

[Emily]
Okay, so the person buys this magic shampoo, takes their shower, and they’re not a rinse and repeater, they’re just-

[Shep]
One and done. So probably a guy. So this person washes their hair, steps out of the shower. How much of a different person are they?

[Emily]
They’re a giant cockroach.

[Shep]
No, slowly they turn into a cockroach.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
Are they in their same house? Are they in their same life but as a different person? Or are they in a completely different life as a different person?

[Thomas]
I’d imagined them in their own house in, like, a parallel universe type of situation. And so they look different.

[Emily]
I’d imagined a completely different world. Like they’re a whole other person in a whole other home with a whole other life.

[Thomas]
See, the thing I don’t like about that is that they will notice it immediately.

[Shep]
I want them to notice it immediately. What if they step out of the shower, it was a man, now it’s a woman. That’s a completely different life.

[Thomas]
Well, but I’m trying to think of, like, that cinematic reveal where they wipe the steam off of the mirror and they’re like, they see them as a different person for the first time, and they’re like, “What the fuck?”

[Shep]
The wiping the steam off the mirror seems like the standard approach for this sort of situation.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Who’s letting their bathroom get that steamy?

[Thomas]
People who don’t live in humid environments, so they don’t have to worry about mildew quite so much.

[Shep]
Or people that do live in humid environments. And that’s just how showers are.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
They just get that steamy.

[Emily]
I mean, that is how showers work.

[Thomas]
Even if you have the fan on. It’s that Hollywood way of letting you know that the person was in the shower. How else would you know?

[Shep]
How would they not notice immediately? Like, I’m fairly familiar with my body. If I stepped on the scale after I got out of the shower, I’d notice if I were different, probably.

[Emily]
I have the answer. They’re in the middle of a really hot karaoke number and their eyes are closed as they’re hitting that high note. And they’re stepping out of the shower.

[Shep]
They’re walking around on a wet floor, eyes closed.

[Emily]
Eyes closed, singing at the top of their lungs.

[Thomas]
I think they do notice right away. And you can get the man turns into a woman or vice versa thing, because they wash their hair and they rinse it all off. They grab the soap and they start rubbing their body or I don’t know, however they’re soaping. And they notice, and they’re like, “What the hell?” And so they come like they jump out of the shower and they wipe the steam off the mirror, and they see that they’re different, and they’re touching their face like, “Oh, my gosh, it’s me. That’s my reflection.” Or like, “That person is doing my movements,” and they can see their hands and everything, their body has changed. So there’s like an initial panic where they’re like, “What the hell is going on?”

[Shep]
Or they got the soap in their eyes when they were shampooing, so they can’t see quite yet. But, yeah, as they’re washing their body, they would feel the changes. So then they jump out, and they’re trying to wipe off the mirror, get the soap out of their eyes.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that works.

[Emily]
Yeah, that works.

[Shep]
I imagine there would be lots of cursing. Lots of “What the-“

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
“Where did it go?” Or, “How did I get that?” Whichever way we go.

[Shep]
If a man turned into a woman, I don’t think that he would be concerned about what happened to his penis, yet.

[Emily]
I mean, he’s got to spend 5 hours playing with the boobs. I know.

[Shep]
He would be distracted by the boobs first.

[Emily]
“12 hours later.”

[Shep]
Right. Speaking of, what kind of life did we decide this is? Are they in the same house, or they’re in a completely different alternate timeline?

[Thomas]
They can be in a different place, if that’s the way we want to do it, where they notice right away, then it doesn’t matter. They can be wherever.

[Shep]
My question is, do people know this person, or is this a stranger that has showed up in their house?

[Thomas]
Or is this a timeline that has begun when they wash their hair? So there’s no established history that they’re coming into. The world has this fake mental history. Is it a magical world that was created the moment they washed their hair? And so it’s internally consistent and logical. So everybody has just known this person because that’s the way adults work. We remember people. We know who our neighbors are. And so if the world is created right at this moment.

[Shep]
Whoa whoa whoa. I don’t know who my neighbors are. What are you talking about?

[Thomas]
If the world was created right at this moment, you’d have all those memories, right? Versus, this is a preexisting world, like a parallel universe that they’ve swapped into or a magical alternate reality that they’ve teleported into, where yeah, they are suddenly this stranger. I mean, I think if you’re going to put them in a new house, it may as well be that person’s house in that world.

[Shep]
So does the main character have the memories of this new life or just the memories of their old life?

[Thomas]
Yeah, I think they are mentally themselves and physically someone else.

[Shep]
Physically someone else who existed and has this house.

[Emily]
Has friends, family, pets-

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
Has friends. But not their friends. Different, new friends.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Now, are they in the same world as their previous life? Can they contact their old friends?

[Thomas]
Is this the same universe, a parallel universe, or a completely alien planet?

[Shep]
Yes, that is what I’m asking.

[Thomas]
Like a magical type of world. Seussian nature, perhaps?

[Shep]
What?

[Thomas]
Seussian in nature?

[Emily]
Like Dr. Seuss?

[Thomas]
You know, like Dr. Seuss?

[Thomas]
Zoisian? If that helps.

[Shep]
Okay, thank you.

[Thomas]
If we want to be correct about it. Be all pedantic.

[Shep]
Me, pedantic?

[Thomas]
Me pedantic?

[Shep]
You’re goddamn right.

[Thomas]
One of the three of us, pedantic?

[Shep]
So I like it if it’s the same universe as their old life, because that gives them the option of contacting people from their old life who won’t know this new person and who maybe in this alternate world didn’t ever know that old person who they were because otherwise that person, what happened to them?

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Did they disappear?

[Thomas]
Yeah. Right.

[Shep]
Like what happened? It’s just people that they used to know that don’t know them.

[Thomas]
So is this essentially a parallel universe where this person was born the other gender, and grew up under different circumstances and has different friends, different life, so everything else is the same. All the same people exist. They’re all working at the same place that they used to. Really, the only difference is this one person’s life?

[Shep]
Well, except for everything that they changed in their old life.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
So, butterfly effect, however old they are, the world can be completely different. But prior to when they were born, it’s the same.

[Thomas]
Yeah. And I mean, there are things that obviously wouldn’t be different, that would be the same, major events that they would have no impact on anyway.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
But yeah, I could see if they didn’t stop their friend from committing suicide in college or something like that as like a really extreme example, because they never knew that person and nobody was there to stop that from happening. And so that person has died in this other timeline, or this parallel universe.

[Shep]
That’s a really depressing one.

[Thomas]
It is, but-

[Emily]
We’re not doing It’s a Wonderful Life with this, though. They’re not learning some ultimate lesson.

[Thomas]
Well, are they or aren’t they? That’s a good question.

[Shep]
Yeah, let’s decide that so we can plan for the rest of the pitch.

[Emily]
I mean, they’re going to learn something, but I don’t want it to be like It’s a Wonderful Life where the whole point of it is that the world is not better off without you. It never would have been. Look at all these impacts you’ve made.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
I don’t want that.

[Shep]
I think the lesson should be that they aren’t trying anything new. They’re given this completely new, different life, and the first thing they try to do is contact their old familiar friends.

[Emily]
Yeah. Because they like everything comfortable and known.

[Thomas]
I was going to say, are they really set in their ways and they don’t take any risks? But then why did they buy hippie shampoo from a farmers’ market? The first time they take a risk, it totally bites them in the ass. Or that’s how they perceive it at first. And then by the end of the film, they realize, “Oh, I wouldn’t have learned this lesson had I not taken this initial risk.”

[Shep]
I think that the ending has to be them accepting new things, trying new things, and then going back to their old life. They have to willingly choose to go back to their old life by washing their hair again.

[Thomas]
But they haven’t learned that lesson until they get back? Or they haven’t learned it, but they haven’t taken it to heart?

[Shep]
No, they’re taking that lesson back with them. They had plans. Like, what if their friend wants to go into business together? Which is a terrible idea. Don’t go into business with your friends.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
It’s a bad idea. But this is a Hollywood movie, so whatever. But they don’t want to take that chance. They don’t want to risk everything. Might not be that, it could be a new job, but they’d have to move to a different city. It could be lots of things. They don’t like to change.

[Emily]
I like the idea of moving to a new city for a job. Like there’s a really good job. It would be something they would be passionate about. It’s a good career choice. You know. The only downside is it’s in a whole other part of the country where they don’t know anyone.

[Shep]
Well, my question would be why did they apply to this job that’s in another part of the country?

[Emily]
Originally when they applied for the job, it was in their city, in their state. And then the corporate office has decided to move it to another location.

[Shep]
Or it could be a corporate merger. They’d like to stay at their current job.

[Thomas]
Which they like.

[Shep]
Which they like. That they know, that they’re really good at.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But that job is moving.

[Emily]
Okay. That works the same-

[Shep]
So they want to stay at the same job because they like the familiar. But they’d have to move or they’d have to get a new job. Either way is a change.

[Emily]
And very uncomfortable.

[Shep]
Yeah. Is this person on the spectrum?

[Thomas]
It certainly seems like it, doesn’t it?

[Shep]
I mean, I don’t think that I’m on the spectrum, but I also don’t like change. So.

[Emily]
I have a lot of attributes of being on the spectrum, and I don’t think I’m on the spectrum.

[Thomas]
I’m just lazy. So I don’t like to change things.

[Shep]
I think it’s a common feeling of being in your comfort zone. It’s called a comfort zone because it’s comfortable.

[Emily]
Yeah. Routine is nice.

[Shep]
Yeah. Predictable.

[Emily]
Enough unpredictability in this world.

[Shep]
Yeah. Okay, I’ve talked myself out of this pitch. Let’s go to a different one.

[Emily]
But they’re taking it to the extreme. They’re not doing anything different. They have the exact same wardrobe. They have the exact same haircut they’ve had for 15 years.

[Shep]
This is why their partner broke up with them. Because they’re not changing, they’re not growing.

[Emily]
They’re not growing.

[Shep]
They’re the same they were when they met twelve years ago.

[Thomas]
Are they slowly sort of, I don’t know how I want to phrase this, but like closing off from people and they kind of don’t go out anymore because their friends are like, “Hey, you should come with us to (wherever).” And they’re like, “Yeah, I think I’m just going to stay home.” They’re just really starting to nest down into their life.

[Shep]
So I think they have one really good friend, their best friend. So this would be the person that they try to recontact in the new life.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And that friend is trying to pull them out of their comfort zone, trying to pull them into social situations because that’s how they are. They’re extroverted. They’re going out, they’re meeting new people. They’re one of the social hub people that know everyone else. And this is one of the people that they know. And so they try to pull that person in, but they’re not interested. They wish that it could be like it was when they were in college together and they were roommates or something like that, where it was just the two of them and not all these other people. They don’t want to go out to the club or they don’t want to go to that Steve’s barbecue. “I don’t know Steve. Who would I talk to?”

[Thomas]
“These friends are weird. They talk about how cooked to perfection the burgers are.”

[Shep]
Great callback. Listen to all our previous episodes to get our current references.

[Thomas]
So they’re sort of closing off from the world slowly over time.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
They’re becoming insular.

[Thomas]
And so their friend is trying to get them out, trying to get them to meet new people. That’s the best way to meet a new person. And they’re like, “Oh, I’ve got the apps, it’s fine.” It’s like “The apps are terrible. You’re never going to meet someone that way.”

[Emily]
“It’s the same seven people.”

[Thomas]
Right? It really is too. Yeah. And they’re just they’re not going for it. How did they get this shampoo? Did the friend get the shampoo?

[Shep]
Well, if we have the former partner as well, which is not their best friend, maybe they gave it to him as a gift. Or maybe they went to the farmers’ market because that was one of the things that their friend pulled them to. They don’t like to go places. “I thought you said we were going to have lunch. But we’re here-“

[Emily]
“We’re going to this really good poutine truck.”

[Shep]
“And Steve is here.”

[Emily]
It’s always Steve.

[Shep]
Yeah, Steve is his friend from work, so they hang out all the time. “I thought that we would have time. You always see Steve.” So there’s that element of jealousy there’s-

[Emily]
Never mind. That’s too coincidental.

[Shep]
Say it. And then I’ll go, “Ah! Coincidence!”

[Emily]
I was going to say maybe when they run into Steve or Steve is there, those two are having their conversation. And our main character is kind of just picking around at things, trying to avoid Steve and hoping that conversation will end so they can have their time together. And then he accidentally bumps into the soap-cart lady whatever and spills a bottle shampoo or something, and then he feels guilty, so he buys it.

[Shep]
Ah! Coincidence!

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I don’t know about spilling a bottle of shampoo but knocking over a display. And then the proprietor going, “Oh, are you going to buy that?” And they’re too socially awkward to say no. They’re like, “Yes.” “You’ll really like it. It makes you feel like a whole new person.”

[Thomas]
I could even see it being a little more intentional where they are trying to physically distance themself from Steve. So they run into Steve and he’s like, “Oh, hey,” whatever. Maybe that is the coincidence that Steve is there.

[Shep]
And Steve is very friendly and always trying to talk to him.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
That’s what he doesn’t like.

[Thomas]
And so he’s like, “Hey, I’m going to go look at stuff over there.” And so he walks away to get away from Steve and he’s looking at the shampoo and soap. He’s just sort of standing there looking at it as an excuse to be away from them. And as soon as you approach, a lot of times the person who’s selling stuff will try to chat you up, make that sale. And so I could totally see the person talking to them and he could even just be straight up with them. “Like, I’m actually not interested in any of this. I’m just trying to get away from this annoying guy over there.” And that just sort of leads to a conversation where the proprietor says, “Well, actually, I think I have something that could help you out.”

[Shep]
And that’s when they get the good stuff out of the back.

[Thomas]
Exactly.

[Shep]
I like this because then you have that magical shopkeeper trope, which I like.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Who doesn’t love the magical shopkeeper?

[Shep]
Everybody loves the magical shopkeeper. So they are saying they’re avoiding this person and they’re like, “Oh, why are you avoiding this person?” Like “They’re always trying to talk to me and I don’t like them.” Whatever. They start to spill their guts and that’s when the magical shopkeeper has the solution. Because the magical shopkeepers always have the solution. It happens to be something they can sell you.

[Thomas]
So he buys the shampoo and he goes back because Steve walks away and he says, “Oh, what did you get?” And he goes, “I bought shampoo from that stall over there.” And he turns around and the stall is gone. No, I’m kidding.

[Emily]
He’s like, “No, it’s that one over there by the chief.”

[Thomas]
“Oh, sorry. No, the other direction. I’m looking the wrong way.”

[Shep]
Now that’s become such the trope.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
So I think we have our beginning. They take a shower with shampoo. We covered that scene earlier. Are they in a different house now? They step out of the shower and it’s a different house.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
While their eyes were closed because they got shampoo in their eyes, the faucet changed. So when they’re trying to turn the water off, they can’t find it. Everything’s different.

[Emily]
Yeah. Very confusing. Also have a name for the main character to help us going forward.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Emily]
Charlie. It stays Charlie from the beginning to-

[Shep]
That’s what I like about it.

[Thomas]
That’s great. Man, can you imagine the moment, the first time somebody says Charlie to her?

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And she’s like, “Yes? Wait…” And there’s that moment of confusion, of like, “Have I changed back? How does this person know me? I don’t know this person.”

[Shep]
“You know that I’m Charlie?”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I like that a lot.

[Thomas]
All right. So Charlie steps out of the shower, is freaking out because now he’s a woman.

[Emily]
And the bathroom is way bigger.

[Thomas]
And everything’s different. “And this isn’t my normal towel. Actually, this towel is a lot softer.”

[Shep]
“This isn’t my beautiful house.”

[Emily]
This is not my beautiful wife.”

[Shep]
So is New Charlie more successful than Old Charlie? I imagine so if they’re the one that takes risks and gets out there.

[Thomas]
Yeah, sure.

[Shep]
They’re who maybe Charlie could have been, had they continued to grow and experiment and try new things.

[Emily]
Right?

[Shep]
Then why, okay, so to jump to the end, why does Charlie choose to go back to their old life? Because the new life isn’t real, I guess, would be the reason.

[Emily]
Yeah. There’s got to be something to it. More a little darker.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I was just going to say we’ve gotta… There has to be a pretty significant downside. Or maybe there’s like a crush and the crush is straight and there’s just no way he’s going to be able to date her as a woman.

[Shep]
So he doesn’t want to get back together with his ex?

[Thomas]
Maybe he does. I don’t know. Well, I suppose he would, wouldn’t he? How old is Charlie? Is he in his 30s? He’s probably fairly set in his ways. Obviously, we’re trying to break him out of that a bit. But if I don’t like for example, I don’t like cucumbers, I’m not going to magically like cucumbers unless we make that part of the story, but I don’t think we should.

[Shep]
What’s the Harrison Ford movie where he has a stroke and loses his memories?

[Emily]
Regarding Henry, it’s one of my favorites.

[Shep]
Regarding Henry. “I don’t like scrambled eggs.” “Oh, you love scrambled eggs.” “I’ll have some scrambled eggs then.”

[Thomas]
But my point is that there are just certain things that are part of his personality that are not going to change, preferences that he has or things that he likes or wants to do. And this female Charlie’s life doesn’t allow for those things or makes those things difficult.

[Emily]
Okay. Just because this female Charlie is more successful and more outgoing and takes more risks, is that naturally going to make him think, “Oh, I should be an extrovert?” You’re still going to be an introvert to a degree. Right?

[Thomas]
He’s not going to become the level of extrovert that New Charlie is. That female Charlie is.

[Emily]
Right. And maybe he can’t have that in female Charlie’s body, that little bit of introvertedness that he needs to sustain himself with his own person.

[Thomas]
Right. Our goal, I think, for male Charlie is not to convert him completely to an extrovert. It’s to balance him out.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
The pendulum has swung way too far to one side. We’re just trying to get him back towards the middle.

[Emily]
Right. Maybe Charlie is too far on the other side.

[Thomas]
Right. He’s being too unhelpfully introverted. And yeah, maybe female Charlie is unhealthily extroverted, trying to have this huge life.

[Emily]
Maybe female Charlie makes money doing OnlyFans and it’s really exhausting.

[Thomas]
Or just like there’s tons of expectations of female Charlie being in social situations. Maybe female Charlie is an influencer and so gets tons of attention.

[Shep]
Oh, man. If New Charlie is famous.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Then people are going to come up to New Charlie on the street all the time.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Which Old Charlie is going to hate.

[Thomas]
But then it has benefits. People want to buy New Charlie coffee. “Shit, I don’t have to pay for coffee? Awesome.” People want to let New Charlie go first. “You can have this cab” or whatever it is. So there are benefits to that that he starts to enjoy as New Charlie, but then it gets to be too much.

[Emily]
Right. It’s never ending. There’s never any respite.

[Thomas]
All right, we’re going to take a quick break, and when we come back, we will continue with our story for Shampoo.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we’re back. We have Old Charlie, who is a man. He’s now washed his hair and become New Charlie, a woman. Sounds like maybe we’re going to make New Charlie fairly well known?

[Shep]
Fairly well known. Let’s make New Charlie so well known that Old Charlie’s old best friend knows who they are.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, that’s good.

[Shep]
So that when New Charlie or when Old Charlie contacts them in New Charlie’s body, they’re like, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m on board, whatever it is.”

[Emily]
Does his best friend try to date- does Steve try to date him?

[Shep]
I assume that his old best friend tries to put a move on him or something.

[Emily]
I would prefer it to be Steve. So that he gets to slug Steve. Like he gets to live that out. Like that weird animosity that he has towards Steve out.

[Shep]
What he doesn’t like is that Steve is so friendly and this is just Steve being even friendlier.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“You’re too friendly, Steve. You’re too friendly.” I imagine Charlie is going to have a conversation about what’s going on with his old best friend at some point because he has to tell someone.

[Thomas]
I feel like that would happen pretty early on. He’s trying to explain it to the old best friend. I guess it’s the same, it’s not the oldest, it’s the best friend. It’s the same best friend.

[Shep]
The best friend from his previous life.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Does the best friend believe him?

[Thomas]
If everything is basically the same, or if most things are basically the same, he would have knowledge of things that the best friend knows and likes. Now, they wouldn’t have that shared experience knowledge, because that didn’t happen.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
But he could know about a childhood scar. He’d know about things that happened before they met. He’d know about preferences that the best friend has.

[Shep]
He’d know about things that happened at college, assuming that the best friend went to the same college and stayed in the same room. He’d know things that happened in that dorm.

[Emily]
Okay, so he has proof.

[Thomas]
Enough, really specific knowledge that I think a reasonable person would maybe not 100% believe it, but, like, 95%, 98% be there. There’d probably still be, like, a little background skepticism. But how would you know that otherwise?

[Shep]
I mean, if someone came to me and said that they were friends of mine in a previous timeline and knew specific stuff, I would assume I was being Punk’d.

[Emily]
Right? “How much did Becca pay you?”

[Shep]
“This is a prank show.”

[Thomas]
“Where’s Ashton?”

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Does the best friend want Charlie to embrace this life, stick around because, you know, best friend’s going to get some benefit knowing this Charlie in this life. It’s going to be good for the best friend, or does he want to help Charlie get back?

[Shep]
I’m picturing New Charlie going out to lunch with old best friend and New Charlie’s best friend who had, like, a planned lunch, whatever. You know, “It’s Sunday. We’re going out to (pick sponsor here).”

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right. Applebee’s for mimosas.

[Shep]
Right. Whatever.

[Thomas]
Whatever it is.

[Shep]
And that happens to be when old best friend is at the house or whatever. And so it’s them all together. And while Charlie is busy, new best friend goes to old best friend, and is like, “Oh, how do you know Charlie?” Because how do you answer that?

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
“We went to college together in a different timeline. We’re old friends.”

[Thomas]
“Actually. We’re friends from, like, years ago, from when we were kids. We used to live in the same neighborhood.”

[Shep]
“Oh, really? Because I lived in Charlie’s neighborhood-“

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s true.

[Shep]
“We’re childhood best friends, so I don’t remember you at all.” What’s the new best friend’s name? Let’s call her Becca because Emily used the word Becca.

[Thomas]
All right. The name Becca.

[Shep]
The name Becca.

[Thomas]
I guess names are words. You’re right. You’re right. Ignore me.

[Emily]
These are things.

[Thomas]
What’s the old best friend’s name, by the way? Alfonso? I don’t know.

[Shep]
Evan.

[Emily]
Evan.

[Thomas]
Evan.

[Shep]
Evan.

[Emily]
I like Evan.

[Thomas]
Okay. So what’s the goal with having this conversation between Evan and Becca?

[Shep]
I want Evan and Becca as friends of Old Charlie and New Charlie to help Charlie in their situation. Because Becca is going to realize that Charlie is different now.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
She’s not acting the same. She’s completely different. And so maybe if we can fix Charlie and Charlie can go back to being Old Charlie, maybe New Charlie will return to Becca’s life and she’ll get her best friend back.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Or she sees it as her best friend having some sort of mental breakdown and wants to be supportive. So Becca and Evan are going to work together.

[Thomas]
I definitely see Becca having a pretty clear motive for wanting to help get Charlie back to his old body so she can have her friend back.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
If she even believes that’s what’s going on.

[Thomas]
Right. What’s Evan’s goal? Because he has no memory of Old Charlie, so it’s not like he’s lost his best friend and wants him back.

[Shep]
Right. It’s some stranger.

[Thomas]
All he sees is “Things were fine, and now I’m friends with the celebrity.”

[Emily]
Right. “It’s beneficial for me if Charlie stays this Charlie and wants me around all the time.” But Evans not a douchebag.

[Shep]
No. Evans a good guy.

[Thomas]
No.

[Shep]
That’s why they were friends.

[Thomas]
Is that enough? Like, New Charlie is saying, “You’re my best friend. I need you to help me.” He’s convinced enough.

[Shep]
Oh, he would definitely be convinced enough, because that’s the kind of guy he is. He just goes with whatever. He’s constantly trying new things, going out there and doing whatever. And so someone comes up to him and says, “We’re best friends in a parallel timeline, and I can prove it.” And they do. He’d be like, “All right, I guess we were best friends.”

[Emily]
He’s like “Yep. All checks out.”

[Thomas]
And being a nice guy, this person who’s proven to be a best friend from a parallel timeline is asking for help. Of course I’m going to help my best friend.

[Shep]
Yeah, that’s the kind of guy he is.

[Thomas]
What is the help that Charlie is asking for, though?

[Emily]
Okay, so Charlie doesn’t know if they repeat yet.

[Thomas]
When does Charlie figure it out? Because-

[Shep]
The proprietor at the fair or the farmers’ market or whatever said “Follow the instructions precisely,” and they emphasized it. So they try to go back to the farmers’ market in this timeline, but that booth isn’t there. It doesn’t exist. No one remembers whatever.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Shep]
And so they can’t talk to that proprietor and get further instruction. And so “Think, Charlie, think. What did they tell you?” And then eventually they remember. But maybe they’re much later Charlie’s settling into their new life, and “Here’s the recipe for (whatever), but follow the directions precisely.” And then they remember. “Oh, that’s what they said.” And they still have the bottle because they were shampooing themselves. They must have the bottle because they have to shampoo it again. They go and they read the instructions. Lather, rinse, repeat. They didn’t do the final step.

[Thomas]
So two thoughts or questions. Going to find the proprietor of the stall presupposes that they know how they got there in the first place, that it was the shampoo.

[Shep]
Well, it happened while they were taking a shower. It happened when they had the shampoo in their eyes. You’re right. Maybe they might not realize that right away.

[Thomas]
That comes later, that realization. And then the other thing with the lather, rinse, repeat all that. Do they have to wash their hair twice to get back? Or is it just use that shampoo a second time ever.

[Shep]
A second time, because they were in the middle of it.

[Thomas]
Right. So how long between getting there and going back? And why didn’t they wash their hair in that entire duration?

[Shep]
They can wash their hair with whatever as long as they’re not using that same shampoo.

[Thomas]
But that’s the shampoo that’s there. Why wouldn’t they use that shampoo? That’s the one that’s in the shower.

[Emily]
They’re a woman and they have 50 shampoos because it’s Tuesday and it’s time to use the purple shampoo to get the yellow out of the blonde.

[Shep]
Charlie won’t know the routine, though. Charlie is not going to know any of the routines.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I feel like if it were me, I’d probably just grab the bottle I was using. That was the shampoo I was using, so I’ll stick with that one.

[Shep]
But if it’s on a shelf with five other shampoos, maybe they don’t know which bottle was the right bottle. I guess it’d be the one that looks like it was purchased at a farmer’s market.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Or none of them are labeled because they’re all super fancy. “What is this? What liquid is in this?”

[Thomas]
Well, then I would definitely grab the bottle that I had used previously because at least I know that’s shampoo. So I could see in their panic, they knock over all the bottles in the shower blindly.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
So what happens to that shampoo bottle that it gets misplaced for a while.

[Shep]
I don’t know.

[Emily]
I don’t know. You asked a hard question, Thomas.

[Shep]
Yes. Oh. Having to think about plots instead of just going with whatever the first idea is like modern movies do…

[Thomas]
Yeah. Really.

[Shep]
I think it just gets mixed in. I think that you’re right. They knock all the bottles off, when they’re flailing around trying to find the water, and so they’re all mixed together so they don’t remember which bottle it was because you’ve seen showers that women have that have every available surface has a bottle of something on it.

[Emily]
Right. And they grabbed the one closest to them at that time of this shower, which is a different shampoo, and it says shampoo on it. And so they use that one. Not thinking about it.

[Thomas]
I could also see they’ve knocked over all the bottles and at some point they’re going to have to clean those up. So they pick it up and they’re like there’s even like a moment where New Charlie is like, “Why are there so many bottles of shampoo?” And grabs a bunch of the bottles of shampoo and just sticks them under the sink.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
It’s like, “There. One bottle. That’s all I need.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
And so that’s the shampoo they’re using.

[Shep]
That’s the classic Charlie right there.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yes, that works.

[Thomas]
“It doesn’t matter which one, they’re all shampoo. This is the one I’m holding. So all the others go in the cabinet or whatever.” And so that’s how the magic bottle gets pushed out of the way temporarily.

[Shep]
Good solution to the problem that you brought up.

[Thomas]
Yes. How does Charlie learn their lesson?

[Emily]
There’s got to be a sad time. What’s the sad time in this movie? The lowest low.

[Shep]
The lowest low is when they’re trying to help Charlie. And the old best friend points out, he has the name, Evan. Evan points out that the first thing Charlie did in the new life was contact him. And they are trying to turn this new life into their old life and not try anything ever. So if New Charlie is an influencer and what they do is they make videos talking about new products or whatever, this is a job that Old Charlie is uniquely unqualified to do.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Because he’s like, “I don’t want to try this. This is stupid. You know what works? My toaster. Who needs this fancy ass shit?”

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But that’s what sponsors are constantly sending free products to try out. So there’s always boxes in the kitchen and Old Charlie is not trying anything. Not doing the job, basically.

[Emily]
Right? So new best friend is like, “I know you’re not my Charlie, but you can’t just let her go broke.”

[Shep]
Yeah. Maybe she’s also an influencer.

[Emily]
Oh, maybe.

[Shep]
They do crossover videos together.

[Emily]
Yeah. I think Evan should also, he’s invested and wants to help Charlie, but he’s not-

[Shep]
Right. He’s not trying to keep Charlie here.

[Emily]
Right. So he also has a life and he’s trying to do his normal shit. And this Charlie is like, “No no, you have to help me. Cancel on Steve.” “I’ve canceled on Steve five times since you’ve come into my life. I can’t keep doing this.”

[Shep]
“You have to help me.” “I actually don’t. You have to help yourself.”

[Emily]
And Charlie’s like, “But you’re always the one who helps me. You’re my constant.” And Evan is like, “People aren’t constants. We change, we grow. You need to.”

[Shep]
“I’m not constant. You are.”

[Emily]
“Constant pain in my ass.”

[Shep]
So Charlie has been abandoned by all best friends and lost their job.

[Thomas]
So when they first got there, they didn’t like the tons of attention, but then they kind of looked around at the benefits they were enjoying being female Charlie, New Charlie. And so they decided they want to stay. Right? They’re happy with this. Things are going good, but then it all sort of starts falling apart?

[Shep]
They’re happy with it, but they want it to turn into their old life. They want to make everything constant like it was.

[Thomas]
Well, because there are downsides. They have those stresses that they don’t enjoy.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
It is overwhelming being the center of attention everywhere you go.

[Emily]
Charlie doesn’t like new things. And as an influencer, her job is new things.

[Thomas]
Constantly changing, and it’s just too much.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And they’ve lost their friends.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
They’ve pushed their friends away.

[Emily]
He’s back to going to Sal’s every Thursday for meatloaf.

[Shep]
And then Steve hit on her.

[Emily]
Oh. When he hits Steve as her, he’s like, “I knew I didn’t like you. I knew there was something off about you.” And really he’s not being like, that gross or lecherous.

[Shep]
Yeah, because Steve was like, “I thought that we had a vibe. You were, you know, you laughed at my joke.” And “I was just being friendly. Now I know never to be friendly to Steve.”

[Thomas]
It could be funny if there’s not a big interaction between the two of them. It’s just like, Evan is hanging out with Steve at some point, and so Charlie comes, and Steve makes a pass or whatever, and he’s like, “Ew, gross, dude.” And Steve is just like, “What?”

[Emily]
He makes a really innocent pass and he’s like just a really like, quick little flirt.

[Thomas]
Right. He puts his hand on her shoulder, and she’s like, “Ew, don’t touch me.”

[Shep]
Oh, hand on the shoulder. Whoa.

[Thomas]
Something that’s not too aggressive. But-

[Shep]
Yeah, Steve is just like, “We should get coffee sometime.” And Charlie’s like, “I’m not gay. I’m sorry.”

[Emily]
Steve’s like “Neither am I.”

[Shep]
“That’s not a deal breaker.”

[Thomas]
I like that idea of just Steve being super confused. He’s completely oblivious to what’s going on, and so he doesn’t understand why her not being gay precludes a relationship between them or precludes them going and getting coffee.

[Emily]
Alright, so we need Charlie’s to-

[Thomas]
So I think Charlie’s third act goal is put their life back to normal.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
So it seems like getting home, getting back to the original timeline, is their ultimate goal.

[Emily]
Yeah. Because there’s no way he can make it work as her. He can’t. He just can’t.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Maybe he tries.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Maybe that is there’s an attempt, but I imagine videos of Charlie trying to review new products. “It is a toaster. It toasts.”

[Emily]
Right. Or even like Charlie trying to figure out how to do a makeup tutorial with a new set of brushes and just being like, “This one looks like it will do it.” And then ends up looking like Mimi from Drew Carey Show.

[Thomas]
I didn’t even think about that. Like, doing her makeup would be… she wouldn’t at first.

[Emily]
No. At first.

[Shep]
I am picturing Charlie calling Becca to come over and help, and Becca coming over to help, because that’s Charlie’s best friend.

[Emily]
Right. They’re best friends.

[Thomas]
Right. Sure.

[Shep]
And at this point, Becca knows the story of Charlie, thinks that she used to be a man and doesn’t have any memories of them together. But Becca still has all those memories. And so this helping Charlie with her makeup reminds her of when they were younger, when they were kids, and they were doing this. She has that nostalgic memory for this exact situation.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Becca does.

[Shep]
Becca does.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Oh and Charlie is not a bad person. So he feels sorry for a little bit. He’s like, “You miss her, huh?”

[Shep]
Yeah. That’s good.

[Thomas]
Does Becca convince Evan to come back into the picture to help Charlie get home? We know that Becca has a vested interest in getting Charlie back to normal.

[Emily]
Right. Beck is emotionally all in.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So how does Becca convince Evan?

[Thomas]
Do we need the three of them to work together to get Charlie back home?

[Shep]
Why not?

[Emily]
Yeah. They need to brainstorm to figure out what the source was.

[Shep and Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
What the source was, what the steps were.

[Thomas]
So they try some stuff that obviously doesn’t work.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Eventually, somehow, somebody like, they get the detail of it happened in the shower.

[Emily]
Right. I got shampoo in my eyes. The next thing I know, I’m washing it out.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I have boobs and the shower is three times the size it was.

[Thomas]
Becca is like, “Well, which shampoo were you using?” Because Becca would know.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Okay. So that’s how they figure it out. “Oh, it must have been something with the shampoo.” Does Charlie forget that they shoved all the other shampoo bottles under the sink, so they go back and there’s just the one?

[Emily]
Of course.

[Shep]
Why would Charlie forget that? As soon as they know that it’s the shampoo… So as soon as Becca asks “What shampoo?” Charlie is going to go, “Oh, I hid all the shampoos under the cabinet.”

[Emily]
Yeah. Okay. So they rush to the cabinet, they open it up.

[Shep]
And go and dig them out and look for which one is the right one and then let’s recreate the situation or no, they have to read the instructions. So do they say anything? Like, this is Charlie leaving this timeline, basically.

[Emily]
I want it to be awkward. I want him to be like, “Well-“

[Shep]
“I’ll see you on the other side.” “You won’t see me on the other side.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
“I’m not on the other side. I’m on this side. You’re going to the other side. There’s going to be a different Evan over there.”

[Emily]
Yeah. Evan and Charlie have this whole conversation and Becca is just like, “I want my friend back, please.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. “I feel like I should say something.” “Why?”

[Shep]
“Say goodbye.”

[Thomas]
Yeah. All right. So the end, though, is not Charlie getting back.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
No, the end is Charlie changing their original life.

[Thomas]
Right. Does Charlie start doing that right away? Has Charlie enjoyed the benefits? Or is there a period of time where he’s living his old life again, but missing some of the benefits of that swapped life?

[Shep]
I think Charlie misses their ex. I want to bring the ex back.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
And maybe that’s the person that Thomas was saying Charlie had a crush on. But they’re straight.

[Emily]
Yeah. So they can’t reconnect with their ex.

[Shep]
Right. So I imagine New Charlie contacting the ex and just seeing what might whatever.

[Thomas]
She could be one of the first people that New Charlie contacts. Because she’s a woman, she’ll know these key things that I need to know. She can help me. And she’s like, “Oh, my gosh, it’s Charlie.”

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
“Yeah, it’s me.” Like, “What are you doing here? Did I win something.”

[Shep]
“Am I on camera?” “No. What?”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“Why would you be on camera?”

[Thomas]
“Are you doing a new video?”

[Emily and Shep]
“What are you talking about?”

[Thomas]
And then Charlie explains the situation and the ex is like, “It’s really true about don’t meet your heroes. Okay, well, I’m going to go.”

[Shep]
Yeah, I like that. I like it if the ex is the first person Charlie reaches out to. Which says something about them, that’s who they prioritize, that’s who they would want to see first. If they don’t try to meet Evan until that fails. So when they go back to their old life, that’s who they want to see. They want to see their ex. They want to convince them that they’ve changed.

[Thomas]
But he hasn’t yet.

[Shep]
But he has. He changed in the alternate timeline.

[Emily]
How does he convince her that he’s made this change that she has not seen?

[Thomas]
Right. Because if he just comes up to her and says, “Hey, I’m different,” if I’m her, I don’t believe him.

[Emily]
She’s like, “You’re just saying that because you don’t want me to go because you’re comfortable.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Oh, they just broke up. This isn’t a long time ex. This is a brand new thing that just happened.

[Thomas]
Okay. Yeah.

[Shep]
Because then it’s just a fight and they can get back together and she’s not dating someone else already. So they had the fight. That’s when he goes to Evan for help. But Evan is having lunch with- or Evan says has “Come downtown. We’ll have lunch.” And Charlie goes downtown and Steven is there and they’re at the farmer’s market. So that’s the beginning. And he’s like “Me and-” what’s the ex’s name? Do we have…? Rachel. Charlie and Rachel.

[Thomas]
So what you’re saying is they’re on a break.

[Shep]
They’re on a break. Anyway, see, you’re putting that in my head. And now try to- what was the scene I was picturing? No, I can’t see it anymore. I just see Ross and Rachel.

[Emily]
They just broke up.

[Shep]
They just broke up, and it’s like that same day that he gets the shampoo. So it’s like not a lot of time has happened. Oh, go ahead, Thomas.

[Thomas]
It’s not him who’s getting a job offer in another city. It’s her. It’s her dream job.

[Shep]
Oh, it’s so good.

[Thomas]
And they’re having this fight because he doesn’t want to move.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
It’s a great apartment. He’s comfortable. Their friends are here. Like, “No, we shouldn’t move. It’s such a big change.” It’s like all the way across the country or it’s a different country or something like that. It’s a big deal.

[Shep]
It’s a different city in the same state. It’s a 30 minute drive away. Anyway.

[Thomas]
And so it’s this big thing, and she’s like, “Well…” They met in college, right? “Ever since you’ve known me, I’ve said, this is my dream job. This is what my degree is in. This is what I’ve been working toward. It’s finally here. This is my number one priority and has been since before I met you. I’m taking this job. I would like you to come with me.”

[Shep]
Yeah, “I’d like you to come with me because I’m going.”

[Thomas and Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And she’s putting the choice in his, the ball is in his court to make that choice. And at the beginning of the film, he’s like, “I can’t. I’m not going to go.”

[Emily]
“But you can work remotely. You don’t even have to change jobs.”

[Thomas]
So then he does an impassioned plea and says, “I’m being an idiot. I’m absolutely, of course I’m going to move with you.” Like-

[Shep]
Let’s put this on a weekend. So his whole life, alternate life happens on Saturday. And she has, like, a standing thing that she does on Sundays that she always invites him to. Like her and a group of friends that already use this, they go out to whatever-

[Emily]
Applebee’s for mimosas.

[Shep]
Whatever our other sponsor is.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And he’s always invited, and he doesn’t go. And that’s one of the things that she complains about is “You’re not even taking part in my life. You stay at home all the time. You have your groceries delivered. You don’t even go to the store.” And he’s like, “Yeah, I like my life. I’m comfortable here. Everything I need is here.” And she’s like, “Why don’t you come to the brunch that I have on Sundays.” And he’s like, “I remember when it was just you and me at home on Sundays having blueberry bagels with strawberry cream cheese” or whatever, and she’s like, “That was, like, two years ago. We don’t do that. That’s not a thing. I went on keto. I can’t do bagels” or whatever. And so he goes to the brunch because that’s where she’s going to be, and he knows she’s mad at him.

[Emily]
It’s like a brunch club where they try different restaurants around the city every Sunday.

[Shep]
Oh, yes.

[Thomas]
Well, that’s good.

[Emily]
So that’s one of the reasons he’s like, “Yeah, I can’t. You go to a different place. What’s the wait time? What’s on the menu? What if they don’t have-“

[Shep]
“What’s good there? I won’t ever know what’s good there.”

[Thomas]
“What if they don’t have what I like?”

[Shep]
You guys are so good at this, by the way. Just, A+ suggestions. This is a good ending.

[Emily]
So he also has to figure out where they’re having the brunch. But I guess maybe he has access to a calendar or something.

[Shep]
Oh, they have a Facebook group or whatever. Yeah.

[Thomas]
Or it’s a shared Google Calendar.

[Shep]
Whoever is the sponsor, Bing calendars, does Bing have a calendar?

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
They’re always putting themselves in movies, as if people use that service. Well, yeah, that’s good. So is that it? Is that the ending?

[Thomas]
I feel like an interesting ending is that he goes to the place, he makes the impassioned plea. He says, “Of course I’m going to go. Like, I’m here for the lunch,” whatever. And she’s like, “It’s not enough.”

[Shep]
“What would be enough?”

[Thomas]
“You can say these things, but for the past year or whatever, you’ve been showing me otherwise.” So, yeah, what is enough? I mean, realistically, what would be enough? They don’t have to be back together for good, for sure. She just has to be willing to give him the opportunity to prove himself.

[Emily]
It’s a fresh break up. Why wouldn’t she be like, “Oh-“

[Thomas]
Are they even broken up? Or has it just been the threat of a breakup.

[Shep]
Or yeah, was it just a fight?

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
What are we missing?

[Emily]
Or acceptance of this change and then living happily ever after.

[Thomas]
Or like, the idea that they’re probably going to make it because we know he’s changed, so she doesn’t have to know 100%. She just has to be willing to give him that opportunity, which we know he’ll make good on as the audience.

[Emily]
Right. And then the denoument is them packing the van and Steve helping.

[Shep]
And she meets Steve for the first time, and they have a little bit of chemistry, and-

[Emily]
No!

[Shep]
STEEEEVE!

[Emily]
I just was thinking also part of his change could be that he’s not going to just hate Steve for no good reason.

[Shep]
It’s not no good reason. He’s too friendly. I want him to have a conversation with Evan when he gets back and say, “I used some magical shampoo, and I lived an alternate life for three months, and I just got back,” and Evan’s like, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

[Emily]
“And I’ve learned that I need to accept change and grow as a person.” And Evan’s like, “That’s some heavy shit, man.”

[Thomas]
“Whatever got you there. I’m glad that-“

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“Finally! Who convinced you?” “You did, in a different timeline.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“That sounds like me.”

[Emily]
“Also your friend Steve’s a creep.”

[Shep]
“He asked to have coffee with me even though I’m straight.”

[Thomas]
“You know Steve’s gay, right? Got him all wrong.”

[Shep]
“Oh, he was just being friendly. He’s too friendly!”

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. He comes back, and he ends up apologizing to Steve, and Steve’s like, “What?” He’s, like, has no idea. I just like Steve being confused, apparently.

[Shep]
But not, like, upset, just happy and confused.

[Thomas]
Right. Just like, “What’s happening? I don’t think you had anything to apologize for, but okay.”

[Shep]
Is that the mid credits? All right, well, I think we have it. I don’t think we’re missing anything unless you want some sort of dramatic climax.

[Thomas]
Well, I mean, do we have her convinced is my only question.

[Shep]
Well, if we jump forward for a month and they’re moving it sure sounds like they’re convinced. If they’re moving their stuff into the same moving van.

[Thomas]
I almost don’t like that. I want a more ambiguous ending. But I like those kind of open endings personally.

[Emily]
Do you want them to just be walking home after the restaurant and have her be like, “It was nice that you joined me.”

[Thomas]
Right. It’s like not a happy ending. It’s like a nice ending.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Shep it sounds like you have an idea.

[Shep]
I have an idea and I’m going to tell it to you. And you can go, “No, that’s a bad idea.” And I don’t care.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
I’m going to say it anyway. He’s got three months of trying to be an influencer in the other life. And so she starts talking about whatever. She’s telling him about her day or whatever. And she starts talking about a new product. And he’s like, “Oh,” and he has opinions about it because he tried it.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And he’s like, “Well try this other one. It’s smoother on the skin” or whatever. Fucking I don’t know.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And she’s like, “What are you…?” And he’s like, “Oh, yeah, but also this one.” Now they’re going down the aisle of like beauty products and he’s got opinions on fucking everything.

[Thomas]
Okay, so I love this. They’re walking home and she’s not convinced. She’s happy that he joined them for brunch. He’s said he wants to go with her, but that’s still a month away. “How do I know you’re not going to change your mind?” And he’s like, “You’re right. It’s going to take time. Tell me about your day. Tell me about what’s going on in your life. What’s something new in your life? Tell me about something new in your life.” She’s like, “Well, I tried out this new moisturizer.” And he’s like, “Oh yeah, that one.” And so then he knows about it, like you said. So he has all the opinions. And they’re maybe going past a department store or something. They’re going past somewhere that sells a bunch of things. And he goes, “Actually, come here,” and pulls her into the store and is showing her all the different things. And she’s like, “How do you know all this?” And that is obviously very outside of the way that he would normally act.

[Shep]
One of the things that he has to say is when he’s recommending different products for her, he’s like, “Oh, and I have some shampoo you absolutely have to try.” And that’s it.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Then you have that jump forward later. She’s convinced. And then you just see in the moving van is a big bulk box of that shampoo. Don’t call attention to it. Just let it be there.

[Thomas]
That’s funny.

[Emily]
I like, that.

[Thomas]
All right. Well, I’m convinced.

[Emily]
That’s a good ending.

[Thomas]
Anything else? Or are we good?

[Shep]
I think we’re good.

[Emily]
I think we’re good.

[Thomas]
I think so too.

[Shep]
I think I’m going to listen to this episode later and go, “Oh, my God, I can’t believe we forgot the (bu bah bu bah).” I don’t know.

[Thomas]
Or listen to it and be like, “Man, we got there way earlier. We spent a lot of time on unnecessary details.”

[Shep]
I like the unnecessary details because I like him recommending the shampoo at the end, which we wouldn’t have had if we finished earlier.

[Thomas]
And Steve’s confusion.

[Emily and Shep]
Steve’s confusion!

[Thomas]
Well we’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s show. Was it a shining example or should we rinse and repeat?

[Shep]
(Pained groan) The problem is that your jokes are so perfect, I can only imagine how much time you’ve spent perfectly crafting these words to just read it in a throwaway at the end of an episode, every episode.

[Emily]
You know, he’s sitting there with a pen and paper. “Ooh, that’s good.”

[Thomas]
I genuinely thought I was in trouble with this one and then pulled this out, so. I’m very pleased with how it turned out, actually.

[Shep]
Yes, me too.

[Thomas]
Well, let us know by leaving a comment on our website, reaching out on social media, or sending us an email. Links to all of those can be found at AlmostPlausible.com Thanks for listening to the show. Emily, Shep, and I will see you soon when we all return for the next episode of Almost Plausible.

[Shep]
I mean, I won’t see them.

[Thomas]
Well, you know.

[Shep]
And also they won’t see us. We won’t see each other at all.

[Thomas]
Do you want me to change “see” to something else?

[Shep]
No, I’m just making an observation.

[Emily]
Wait, you guys don’t see the audience?

[Thomas]
How much did you smoke, Emily? See the audience?

[Outro music]

[Emily]
I was going to pitch an Herbal Essences movie where shampoos give you orgasms. Like, let’s just fucking go with it. I also had the idea to pitch The Peanut Butter Solution, but I thought, there’s no way anybody else in the world remembers that movie. I’m the only one with those scars left.

[Shep]
I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

[Thomas]
I have no idea.

[Emily]
Yeah, it’s this weird Canadian film from 1986 that I wasn’t even 100% sure was real. I thought it was a dream I had made up where a child goes bald randomly and quickly one day and then gets some kind of solution, which now that I’ve looked it up, he gets a special peanut butter recipe to put on his bald head. And his hair just grows and grows and grows and grows and doesn’t stop. Which is great, fine, enough of a story problem to go- no! But the Canadians, they take it one step further, and now he and a friend are kidnapped by some crazy person who cuts their hair to make paintbrushes. Because then when they dip the paintbrush, it paints your imagination and it just makes these paintings with these magic paintbrushes and it’s really fucked up.

[Shep]
And this wasn’t a dream.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
This actually exists. I’m glad to know that I’m not insane about that.

[Thomas]
That’s craziness.

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