Tricycle

References

• Big Wheel
• Bugsy Malone
• Almost Plausible: Fire Extinguisher
• Rubber
• Alejandro Jodorowsky
• The Holy Mountain
• Community
• U.S. Route 66
• Summer of Sam
• 2 Kings 2:24
• Cocaine Bear
• Danny DeVito
• Margo Martindale
• BoJack Horseman
• Steve Buscemi
• Freaks
• Highlander

Transcript

[Intro music begins]

[Thomas]
In the middle of the woods. There’s a bunch of dead clowns. Her breathing heavily, and she just goes, “Who’s laughing now?”

[Intro music]

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Welcome to Almost Plausible, the podcast where we take ordinary objects and turn them into movies. I’m Thomas J. Brown, and joining me for the third year of our show are Emily-

[Emily]
Hey, guys.

[Thomas]
And F. Paul Shepard.

[Shep]
I don’t know how time works.

[Thomas]
We’re three friends who took our love of writing and movies into a podcast about writing movies. On each episode, we take some random, ordinary object and come up with a movie plot where that object plays a critical role. With this being the first episode of our third year of the show, we thought an appropriate object would be Tricycle.

[Shep]
Oh, I just got that.

[Thomas]
Did you not know that that’s why we picked it? Emily, Shep, did either of you have a tricycle growing up?

[Emily]
I did.

[Shep]
I did not.

[Thomas]
I had a big wheel, which is a form of tricycle.

[Emily]
I had both.

[Thomas]
Ooh.

[Emily]
I had a big wheel and a tricycle. My tricycle was a very distinct blue color, and I remember pretending to be a domino’s delivery person on it because it was that color blue.

[Shep]
It’s so specific.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
No, I grew up in the woods. We had sticks and rocks.

[Emily]
You could have made a tricycle out of those.

[Shep]
Ha ha.

[Thomas]
Maybe he made a trident out of them.

[Emily]
It’s all you need.

[Thomas]
Trident. That’s what we should have done instead of tricycle.

[Emily]
Ooh, yeah.

[Thomas]
Okay, time to rewrite the pitches.

[Shep]
Yeah. Let’s try again.

[Thomas]
Hey. Well, I don’t think we have time to rewrite the pitches, so let’s dive in and see what we have for Tricycle. Shep, let’s hear what you have first.

[Shep]
Okay. In a gritty underworld, a notorious motorcycle gang rules the streets. But when a charismatic newcomer joins the pack, the leader’s role is threatened. Internal power struggles and external threats from rival gangs threaten to tear the pack apart. Except the motorcycles are tricycles and the gang members are kids, Bugsy Malone style.

[Emily]
Nice.

[Thomas]
I suspected that this is what your pitch was going to be like.

[Shep]
I mean, I had a bunch of ideas. Like, a raccoon steals a tricycle and tries to make a vehicle to launch himself to the moon.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Or a tricycle that goes so fast, you go faster than the speed of light, or you could travel through time, or it takes you to a magical land or whatever. But then when I thought of the motorcycle gang, I’m like, “No, this is the one. Throw all my other pitches away.”

[Thomas]
It’s funny because I almost did one that was similar to this, but.

[Shep]
That’s it for me. Just one pitch.

[Thomas]
All right, I’ll go next. How about a possessed tricycle horror comedy? Kind of like the film Rubber?

[Shep]
Is it as bonkers as Rubber?

[Thomas]
I feel like it would have to be.

[Emily]
Rubber. I really enjoyed Rubber, like, a lot.

[Thomas]
I feel like somebody watched probably a bunch of Jodorowsky movies and then went, “Hmm.” Because there’s definitely some strong Holy Mountain vibes at the end of that film.

[Shep]
I, see, I only saw it recently, so for me it’s like, “Oh, hey, that’s fat Neil from Community. Hey, that’s the people from other things.”

[Emily]
Yeah, right.

[Shep]
It’s like, “Oh, they were actors before they were in Community.”

[Thomas]
If they did a stage play of Community, would that make it community theater?

[Shep]
Nah. Boo.

[Emily]
Why is that not a thing? Why didn’t they do a play in Community? I’m so angry. Now they have to come back and do one more episode.

[Shep]
They did a musical. They did a-

[Emily]
It’s not the same.

[Thomas]
I mean, one more episode? They should just do a movie.

[Emily]
Yeah, they should do a movie of them putting on a stage production and call it Community Theater.

[Thomas]
There you go. Solved it. Hollywood, you have our numbers.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Thomas]
My other pitch. In late Victorian England, Cora is injured, somehow. We can figure that out if we choose this. Leaving her slightly physically disabled. She is no longer able to mount and maintain control of a horse, and she dislikes being a burden on those around her, anytime she wants to go out and about. She feels trapped at home and begins to get depressed. She is sent a tricycle as a gift, which she reluctantly begins to ride. The freedom she has with the tricycle reinvigorates her social life and pulls her out of her funk.

[Shep]
What is her injury that makes it difficult to mount and control a horse but still possible to ride and control a tricycle?

[Thomas]
I don’t know.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Thomas]
Those are mine. Emily, what do you have?

[Emily]
All right, well, I have three, but they’re all terrible, so here we go.

[Thomas]
Okay, well, hold on. We’ll see. You’ve said that before and we’ve chosen one of yours.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
This is her reverse psychology thing that she does.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“My ideas are bad.”

[Thomas]
“They’ll feel bad for me, so they’ll pick one of mine.”

[Shep]
Yes. It’s only worked several times.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
I am a manipulator, now you know.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Emily]
All right, so my first pitch is we follow one woman’s journey to ride a red tricycle across the country on route 66.

[Shep]
Does route 66 cross the country or does it just the southern part?

[Emily]
Most of the way.

[Thomas]
Well, we’ll set it when route 66 was still new and then that was basically across the country then.

[Emily]
Right. I mean, it’s never gone fully across the country.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
I think you have to forget exactly where it starts and ends in California. It’s close to across the country. Across the majority of the country. All right, that’s it. It’s a one sentence pitch. And then the other two. We’ll see what I got. Okay. They’re ideas. I’m going to sell them as that.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Cynthia’s job is to train a very large grizzly bear to ride a tiny red tricycle in the circus.

[Thomas]
So far I love this.

[Emily]
She loves her job. She loves her bear. But when Gerard, a handsome new fire eater, joins the circus, Cynthia falls head over heels for him. But her bear becomes aggressive towards him and seems to thwart any potential Cynthia might have to strike up a relationship with Gerard.

[Thomas]
I’m just low key disappointed that the bear’s name is not Gerard. When I saw Gerard, I was like, “Oh, that’s a great name for a bear.” And then it turned out not to be the bear. I was like (scoffs).

[Emily]
We can make Gerard the bear’s name and name the fire eater something else. His name could be Bob. I don’t care. So one night after a performance, the bear attacks Gerard out of nowhere. Cynthia is heartbroken. She knows the bear cannot be trusted to perform anymore and will likely have to be put down. As she goes to seek consolation from Gerard, she discovers a dark secret that could put the whole circus in danger.

[Shep]
Gerard is the bear. Oh, the bear is a female bear and it’s Gerard’s ex.

[Thomas]
Amazing.

[Emily]
She knows what kind of low down, dirty bastard he is.

[Shep]
Right! The bear is trying to help her. Do you have an idea for the dark secret or-

[Emily]
I floated around a little bit that he was some kind of escaped convict or was robbing banks and using the circus as means of getaway.

[Thomas]
Actually, I kind of like that. When they go town to town, he pulls jobs.

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah. It puts them in danger because of, I don’t know. Figure that part out.

[Thomas]
Well, because once one news story hits of this circus has been doing this, who’s going to hire that fucking circus again?

[Emily]
Right? Yeah.

[Thomas]
That’s it.

[Emily]
All right.

[Thomas]
You’re done.

[Emily]
And my last one, Sam, is a local fixture in a small town. In the winter, he’s the snowplow driver, and in the summer, he rides around on a tricycle with a cooler attached, selling ice cream cones, popsicles, and shaved ice. Everyone is familiar with the sound of his whirling trike tires as he pedals through the neighborhoods, providing refreshingly cool treats for kids and grownups alike. But one day a child goes missing shortly after Sam was seen selling her rocket pop. Then the next week, another child and another and another, until there’s an epidemic of missing children, all of whom were last seen buying something from Sam.

[Thomas]
So what you’re saying, Emily, this is his summer job? So you may even say it’s the summer of Sam?

[Shep]
No!

[Emily]
Oh no, I didn’t even do that on purpose.

[Shep]
Oh no. See, then you gotta make him not the serial killer to subvert expectations.

[Thomas]
Right? Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah, he wasn’t going to be the serial killer. It was just going to be a serial killer movie.

[Thomas]
So is there one of these that’s jumping out at us besides the bear on a tricycle one?

[Shep]
Yeah. So among Emily’s, I think the one that I like the most is the tricycle riding bear in the circus.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I agree. So that one’s my vote.

[Shep]
All right, let’s do that.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
She got us again, Thomas. She got us again.

[Thomas]
You see? It works.

[Emily]
We don’t have to make it, you know, that the bear attacks Gerard. We could just have her be the trainer for the tricycle riding bear.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Because this was the other idea I had for this, because I really wanted a bear to be riding a tricycle in it, was that she’s the trainer for the bear and he’s a trapeze artist, and it’s just a circus rom-com. I even gave everybody names. I did half of the work for us.

[Thomas]
Yes, but we do need to rename Gerard, since-

[Emily]
We do. Because that’s the bear’s name now.

[Thomas]
It’s now the bear’s name.

[Emily]
You’re right.

[Shep]
So is the former Gerard a good guy or a bad guy?

[Emily]
Bad guy.

[Shep]
Steve.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Steve. All right.

[Thomas]
All right.

[Emily]
Because Gerard the bear is the hero. He was trying to protect Cynthia from the bad Steve.

[Thomas]
So are we going with Steve is a thief, and he pulls heists in each town that the circus visits?

[Shep]
Is that a dark enough secret for us?

[Thomas]
He’s a serial killer.

[Shep]
He’s a demon. He’s-

[Emily]
You know, the demon thing.

[Thomas]
Demon thing’s not bad. I mean, I like that because the bear needs to have some knowledge, right?

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
So the bear can perceive his demonic essence that is disguised to humans.

[Emily]
Oh, and that’s why he’s a fire eater, because he’s a demon.

[Shep]
Ah.

[Thomas]
Hey, that’s good. I like that.

[Shep]
He was gonna eat that fire anyway.

[Emily]
That’s right.

[Shep]
He’s hungry.

[Emily]
It’s nothing to him.

[Thomas]
So are the people who run the circus demonic as well? And there are, like, certain people who work there who are demonic. Their whole thing is they’re trying to get souls from the people who visit the circus. So not everybody who works at the circus is a demon. So Cynthia isn’t.

[Shep]
So is Cynthia new? Not Steve?

[Emily]
Yeah, we could do it that way.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that would work better.

[Emily]
She joins the circus.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah, her and her trusty bear Gerard.

[Shep]
So she already has the bear.

[Emily]
Yes, because if the bear is already wanting to attack Gerard, then why would it be in the circus and performing?

[Thomas]
Well, and I think that would make sense that she would bring the animal that is already trained. She knows how it works. They have a relationship.

[Emily]
See, she grew up in the woods in California and she didn’t have any money, but she had a bear and a tricycle.

[Thomas]
Oh. They have to have grown up together.

[Shep]
He had me until she had a tricycle. It’s like, “Oh, now it doesn’t sound realistic at all.”

[Emily]
She stole it from one of the county kids.

[Shep]
Ho.

[Emily]
After they made fun of her and the bear ate them.

[Shep]
Right. What’s the biblical story that made fun of her for being bald? And so bears came out and killed all the children.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Killed 40 children.

[Thomas]
All right, so now Cynthia has alopecia. Got it.

[Shep]
And then she won’t be afraid of getting her hair burned off by Steve because she’s got alopecia. So it’s like a match made in, not heaven.

[Emily]
So we’re done here. That’s it. We got a story. Wrap it up, put it in the can.

[Thomas]
Sounds pretty good. Nice tight episode.

[Shep]
We need a resolution. We know the beginning.

[Thomas]
I guess.

[Shep]
We know the setup. So Cynthia-

[Emily]
Well, obviously the bear wins the end.

[Shep]
But what happens to Cynthia?

[Thomas]
So Cynthia has to be in danger.

[Shep]
The bear finds a bunch of cocaine.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
No, she has to end up being in danger and the bear has to get out of its-

[Thomas]
So casting choices for the ringleader. Now Danny DeVito feels a little too obvious to me.

[Shep]
Yeah, he has played a ringleader in a circus how many times?

[Thomas]
I don’t know. I’d like to float Margo Martindale, if we’re going with a cocaine bear.

[Shep]
If we’re doing a bear movie, why not character actress Margo Martindale.

[Thomas]
So is this a demonic circus? Is that what we’re going with?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Yeah, let’s do that.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
Let’s go for demonic circus. And the final scene is Cynthia riding Gerard as they jump through the flaming circus tent to escape it as it all burns down behind them.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
I’m thinking flaming tent. So, yeah.

[Shep]
So the circus goes from town to town-

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
And Cynthia lives in one of these small towns and has trained a bear that she grew up with.

[Emily]
Mmm.

[Shep]
Right, Thomas, that’s what you said? They grew up together or something like that.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
I think it’s important for them to have that relationship. Yeah.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
So that they know and trust each other.

[Emily]
And that’s why the bear is extra protective of her.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
Okay. And I think the circus scouts her and says, “Hey, come work for us.”

[Thomas]
So their goal is to turn her demonic, or is this just one of those things where they’ve come to this town, everybody in town’s like, “Oh, you have to have this woman in your circus. You got to have Cynthia. She has this bear.” And so they’re like, “This will probably get more butts and seats. So, hey, while we’re in town, sure.”

[Emily]
What about the challenge of her being so sweet and innocent that Gerard’s like, “I must corrupt her”?

[Shep]
Gerard or Steve?

[Emily]
And I’m sorry, Steve is “I must corrupt her.”

[Thomas]
Ah, okay. So Margo Martindale’s goal is to just get people to come. Everybody in town loves Cynthia and Gerard. So she’s like, “Fine, while we’re here, they can be part of the show. We’re not going to take them with us because we’re a demonic circus, but this will get the locals to come and trust us. So obviously we’re going to get her to come and perform.” But she shows up, and it’s a few days. They’re there for a week, whatever it is. And Steve, like you said, he’s like, “Oh, yeah, she’s so beautiful and innocent, and I want to corrupt that because I’m an evil demon.”

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Maybe he has a bit of a reputation among the other demonic carnies of like, he finds the most innocent, beautiful, pure woman in town, and he tries to corrupt her. That’s his hobby when they’re not performing.

[Emily]
Checks out.

[Shep]
Yeah. Unfortunately, this one has a bear, so it’s not going to work out.

[Emily]
That’s what the demon clowns tell him. He’s like, “She’s got a friggin bear.”

[Thomas]
Yeah, it’s gotten easy and boring now. “I’m still going to do it, but now there’s a challenge. There’s a bear.”

[Emily]
Yeah, and the bear’s obviously aggressive with just Steve at first, or the whole circus? Does he kind of-

[Thomas]
Well, I think Cynthia tries to keep everybody away from the bear or the bear away from everybody, because it is still a bear.

[Emily]
Right. And she respects that he’s still wild by nature.

[Thomas]
Yeah. And so it’s more of like, she’s trying to protect everybody else, and it’s like, “Hey, you really need to keep your distance. Like, I can come over there and talk to you, but you can’t come over here because this is still a bear.”

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And maybe the bear’s just kind of protective of her by nature, but, yeah, in this case is more so. And it’s a new environment. Maybe the bear’s a little… We keep calling it the bear. Gerard. I feel disrespectful that we’re-

[Emily]
Maybe Gerard’s a little on edge-

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
But when he sees Steve, he kind of grumbles and growls more than anybody else, because he knows Steve’s got impure thoughts and his sights on sweet, sweet Cynthia.

[Shep]
Or Steve comes over and keeps trying to talk to Cynthia.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Steve puts himself in danger, apparently.

[Thomas]
He’s trying to show that he’s not afraid of the bear.

[Shep]
Right. Because he’s a demon. He’s not worried about no bear.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
This is true.

[Shep]
He can tear that bear in half if he wanted to.

[Thomas]
Is there, like, a late story revelation that the bear is-

[Emily]
God?

[Thomas]
Not God but angelic in some way? It also lives on that, or, you know, operates on that demonic, angelic, whatever plane. The bear is literally her guardian angel.

[Emily]
No. I think it’s just a bear.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
I think Gerard’s just a bear, but he knows things, because animals have that 6th sense about demonic presences, as we all know.

[Thomas]
Sure.

[Emily]
Does this story only take place in their town? Or do they take her and Gerard on the road with them for some reason or another?

[Shep]
They got to take them on the road just so that we have enough runtime for the movie.

[Thomas]
Yeah. I think their plan is to only have her in town, but-

[Shep]
Esteemed character actress Margo Martindale’s plan is to only have them in that one town.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But Steve has gotten his hooks into her, and he’s got that taste, and he’s a dog with a bone. He’s not going to let go. So he convinces her to join the circus and come with them to the next town. Now, for him, this is a good plan, because if she disappears between towns, nobody notices. If she disappears in her hometown, it’s a big deal. But if she disappears because she left with the circus, everyone’s like, “Oh, have a good time, goodbye.”

[Emily]
And then he doesn’t even let Margo Martindale know.

[Shep]
No, that she’s got to know because she’s the ringleader.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I think he could convince her.

[Shep]
So we’re just going to keep calling her Margo Martindale. She doesn’t have a separate name. That’s fine. Is Steve played by Steve Buscemi? Are we just keeping the-

[Emily]
No shade to sweet darling Steve Buscemi. But, you know, it should be somebody somewhat handsome and attractive to a young woman.

[Thomas]
Well, so when he reveals his true form, he’s played by Steve Buscemi, is what you’re saying.

[Emily]
Sure.

[Shep]
No, because Steve Buscemi is a firefighter, and this guy’s a fire eater.

[Emily]
That’s true.

[Thomas]
It’s true.

[Shep]
Their opposites, it doesn’t work.

[Emily]
Steve Buscemi can be the fire marshal who tries to shut the circus down before the big fire. He can have a cameo.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah. He could just be whatever town there, and he’s their fire chief.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
The final town where everything burns down.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He could be there fighting the fire at the end.

[Thomas]
It’s a lot to pay for a cameo.

[Emily]
But it’s Steve Buscemi. It’s worth it.

[Shep]
How does the demon circus work? I don’t quite understand. Are they eating souls or are they eating emotions? Have a high wire act or trapeze act or whatever, and have the audience feel fear and then feast on that fear.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s good.

[Emily]
Yeah, I’m sold. Because I was going to say, what about the clowns? Because clowns generally create laughter, but there’s going to be enough in there that are terrified of clowns. That’s the warm up.

[Thomas]
Margo Martindale’s not an idiot. She knows that you can’t just have all scary stuff. Nobody wants to see that. It needs to be exciting in various ways. It needs to be entertaining in various ways. And, yeah, maybe there’s a little more death-defying type of stuff, and maybe that’s how Steve convinces her. Like, “This is a wild bear that she raised. She is an amateur. Like, how much more edge of your seat can you get?”

[Shep]
I mean, I would go the opposite way. If I were at a circus and they had a bear riding a tricycle, I wouldn’t think, “Hey, maybe that bear is going to attack someone and eat them.” I would think, “Hey, they taught a bear to ride a tricycle.”

[Emily]
“That’s pretty cool.”

[Shep]
This is the release. This is tension and release.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
So you have the high wire act. That’s tension. And then you have a bear riding a tricycle. That’s release. And then you have the trapeze act, and that’s tension. And then you have the clowns, and that’s release.

[Thomas]
So I think then what would be good is if some other act quits for whatever reason or dies or-

[Shep]
Or disappears.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Disappear. Whatever. And we don’t even actually need to see that. They could come into town down an act.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
The knife throwers are missing.

[Thomas]
Well, but we need something that’s not- That’s exciting. We don’t need exciting. We need that release.

[Emily]
Oh, the horse lady. The lady that does tricks on the horse.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Because something has happened to that act.

[Shep]
Which is perfect, because they already have a car for the carnival train that holds animals.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And the horse just died, so they have something to feed the bear. Oh, wait. So who all are demons? Obviously, Margo and Steve are.

[Emily]
The clowns clearly.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
All the clowns are demons.

[Thomas]
And then anybody else? Or is everybody else just performers? Because I think it needs to be a mix, because otherwise the bear would be freaking out about literally everyone.

[Shep]
See, that’s how you can hint to the audience who’s demons and who’s not.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Like, the high wire act is fine, but the clowns the bear growls at.

[Thomas]
Right. I mean, we don’t necessarily need more than just those ones. We could have everybody else be-

[Emily]
I mean, that’s a lot of clowns.

[Thomas]
It is.

[Emily]
I mean, they have to fill that car up.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Right.

[Emily]
Yeah, that seems fair enough. So, like, the trapeze act, the highwire act.

[Thomas]
The woman on the horse was just-

[Emily]
Yeah. Do the others realize that there’s danger? When Cynthia finds out, does she tell them? Are they like, “Oh, you’re just crazy. It’s your imagination.”

[Thomas]
I think, at first. Yeah. How does she find out? I think that’s going to be a big key, because if she knows-

[Emily]
Right. That’s got to be, like, just before the third act, or in the third act, or whatever.

[Thomas]
It could be the mid-second-act turning point.

[Emily]
So Steve provokes the bear. Like, the bear is wild and want protective, but isn’t necessarily going to actually kill him. But Steve provokes him in a way. So the other people, the non-demonic people, are like, “That bear is dangerous. We’re not safe. People aren’t safe.” So everybody else gets the bear locked up.

[Shep]
I have a countersuggestion to all of this.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Perfect.

[Shep]
Everybody knows. Everybody knows. But it’s too late. Once you’ve joined the circus, you can’t leave. They won’t let you. So as long as you pretend everything is fine, they will let you live for a while. So, like, maybe one of the knife throwers is trying to bring Cynthia up to speed. Once Cynthia figures it out, that’s the mid-second-act turning point. She figures it out. It’s revealed the situation she’s in. Now the real high stakes tension can begin.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Because she’s got to play along and pretend everything is fine when she knows she’s in danger all the time.

[Thomas]
So her goal at the beginning of the film is to travel, and she doesn’t have those opportunities, being from this small town, having a bear she has to take care of.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
But the circus provides her the opportunity to travel and-

[Shep]
Dream come true.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Earn, earn a bit of living, maybe become famous. Question mark? And then she finds out and her goal then is escape?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Survival. Escape-

[Shep]
Survival.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Well, that sounds like an excellent plan for Cynthia and Gerard. We’ll see when we come back from our break whether they can accomplish their task.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we’re back.

[Shep]
We know they accomplished their task. We already talked about the ending at the beginning of the show.

[Thomas]
It’s true.

[Shep]
Spoilers. But I would like to see all of the non-demons fighting the demons at the end when everything comes to a head, for whatever reason. We haven’t got to that part yet, but whatever kicks off the big final fight. So, like, the knife throwers can be using their knife throwing skills. The tightrope walkers can be… I don’t know what they can do to help.

[Thomas]
They tie people up real tight.

[Shep]
Oh, see if we still have the horse people. You could have, like, a lasso guy.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
He throws a lasso around Steve, and Steve just burns it off him. So what kicks off the final fight? I think Steve’s got to be about to do something that’s going to cross Cynthia’s bottom line. He’s found another towny, and he’s invited her back to his place. He’s going to feast, and she’s like, “No, enough. This far, no further.”

[Thomas]
Has he done that once already, to where she knows what he’s about to do?

[Shep]
Yes, he has to.

[Thomas]
So she has seen it.

[Shep]
Right. Maybe that’s the mid-second-act turning point is she sees what he does.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Mmm.

[Shep]
And that’s how she finds out.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
So everyone’s talking about “They’re demons, they’re horrible.” And she’s like, “Okay, well, it can’t be that bad working for them.” And they’re like, “You don’t understand. They’re literally demons.” And she’s like, “I know everyone hates their boss, but…” And then she sees Steve devouring this woman. She’s like, “Oh, literally demons.”

[Shep]
She’s so blasé. “Oh, that’s what they-, boy, do I have egg on my face.” So we have Steve eating someone. Do we have someone try to leave the circus to establish the stakes on that? Or do we just take the other circus people’s word on it?

[Emily]
I would like the knife thrower, one of the partners, the woman, the one getting the knifes thrown at her to try and escape.

[Shep]
No, they can’t be them. I want the knife throwers to try to escape and get caught, but they’re not killed. They have to continue performing. But they pluck out the knife thrower’s eyes.

[Thomas]
Ooh.

[Emily]
Oh, okay.

[Shep]
So the next time they do it, he has to do it basically blind. And maybe she gets injured or whatever. It really pumps up the audience. They go crazy. That’s a lot of delicious emotional energy. She lives, the lady on the knife throwing wheel, but she’s injured, whatever. So that they’re alive at the end to try to make the escape during the big battle, but fail. Also, he’s blind. He’s not very good at throwing knives right now, so they don’t make it. So it’s just Cynthia and Gerard.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s good.

[Shep]
Oh, they’ve got to come up with a system where they think they can pull it off. You know, they stick a nail on the wheel so as it’s spinning, it gently taps a little thing as it goes around.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Every time it comes up, it hits a thing so that he can hear that and know what position she’s in. So the audience watching both in the circus and watching the movie, think maybe they can pull it off. That’s really high tension. If he’s just blind, you’re like, “Okay, she’s going to get injured. It’s fine.”

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
But if there’s a chance, you’re like, “Oh, it’s a movie. They’re going to do it.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“They’re going to overcome these- Oh, no! Right in the…” wherever she can be hit with a knife and not be fatally injured.

[Thomas]
Does the first one he throw work?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And you’re like, “Oh, my god, it’s working.”

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Emily]
Yeah, absolutely.

[Shep]
The first, like, two.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
What’s the rule? It’s, oh, no. The first three have to work because usually it’s the third one that doesn’t work. You’ve seen movies, so that’s the trope.

[Emily]
Yeah. Yeah.

[Shep]
He throws the first one and it works. And so like, “Oh, maybe we can do this.” He throws the second knife, and it works. He throws the third knife and it works. And that’s when the audience goes, “Okay, they’ve got it.” And that’s when he throws the fourth knife, and it goes right in her cheek or whatever.

[Emily]
Can the demons have fucked with it somehow?

[Shep]
Oh, yeah. Steve can, like, hit a bell or something.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah. Okay. So maybe Steve’s getting upset that he’s doing it, and so he starts, like, clapping, like, creating a rhythmic clapping. So now the guy can’t hear the nail anymore.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And the audience is clapping along, and they’re thinking, “Yay!”

[Thomas]
Because they’re excited. They’re like, “Oh, this is amazing.” And Steve’s like, “Oh, yeah.” And he looks over at Margo, and she’s like, “Oh, yeah.”

[Shep]
All right, good scene.

[Thomas]
So what do we need to figure out.

[Emily]
What’s the lowest low? Is that Gerard getting locked up?

[Shep]
No, the lowest low is after the injury with the knife throwing. Maybe everybody gets locked up because the demons know everybody knows, and the knife throwers have ruined it for everyone by trying to escape. So at night, everyone gets locked in their cabin or whatever.

[Emily]
Because they’re just going to go ahead and eat them all and get new people in the next town?

[Thomas]
No, no. It’s one of those things where if one person misbehaves, everyone pays the price for it, and so there’s that, like, social pressure to conform.

[Shep]
Yes. Right.

[Emily]
Hmm. Are they going to ritualistically eat the knife throwers in front of them? Is that what happened with the horse and the lady?

[Shep]
No, they want them to keep performing. I think that the horse lady just ran afoul of Steve.

[Emily]
Hmm. Steve just got a little too excited.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
It’s hard to control Steve.

[Emily]
That makes sense.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So he’s not interested in the knife thrower lady.

[Emily]
He’s only got eyes for Cynthia.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
He’s saving Cynthia for later.

[Emily]
And he likes now that she’s found out, because now she’s really skeeved out by him even more so. And so that’s just a bigger turn.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
She’d have to spend a lot more time with Gerard.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
She feels safer with the bear.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right. Which is saying something.

[Emily]
She starts to sleep in Gerard’s enclosure with him, and Gerard’s fine with it because he’s going to protect her.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Right. He knows. He gets it.

[Emily]
Yeah. He’s like, “That guy’s a creep. I’ll keep you safe.” What else do we need to figure out? How does the fire start?

[Shep]
Oh. Steve starts the fire in the big battle because Steve’s a fire demon.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
But what causes him to start the fire? Does he do it on purpose, or is he in the middle of an argument with Cynthia or Gerard, and then he just, like, screams and spews the fire?

[Shep]
Okay. Steve finally can’t hold himself back any longer, and he goes for Cynthia.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
And he’s pursuing her, and she’s trying to escape from him. And Gerard breaks out of his cage and attacks Steve. So while the two of them are fighting in the center ring of the circus, Cynthia can’t make her escape because she runs into Margo. And Margo is going to nip this in the bud because Cynthia’s been ruining her circus ever since she got there. She thought it was going to be okay at first. She should have never listened to Steve and let them join because they’ve turned the other non-demon participants against the demons. So that’s gotta be the scene. So everyone’s locked in their cabins. So somehow Cynthia has to kill Margo or disable Margo and go around unlocking everyone to let them out.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Shep]
What are the other demons doing at this time?

[Emily]
What are the clowns doing? Yes. Where are the clowns?

[Shep]
What are the clowns doing? They all went town in one little car.

[Thomas]
They’re, like, running around with buckets doing the fire the clown fire routine. So Steve starts the fire because he’s trying to fight Gerard.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
It’s an unintentional blaze.

[Shep]
I don’t think he’s planning to burn the whole tent, but, like, there’s that straw base, and he’s burning it around Gerard.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
He’s messing with Gerard.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Steve’s in control of the fire. He’s a fire demon, so it’s not going to go out of control, he thinks. Cynthia lets everyone, all the non-demons out, and so they fight the clowns and Margo, and when enough of them get free, they go into the center ring to fight Steve because he’s the most dangerous one.

[Thomas]
Do some of them just bail right away and not stick around to help fight, or do they all help?

[Shep]
See, you gotta have, like, the knife throwing couple. They’re like, “We can’t. We’re too afraid.” And they bail, and you think, “Oh, they’re gone.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But it’s Han Solo, and they come back. You’ve seen movies.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
You know how this works.

[Emily]
Should there be, like, trapeze bros? And they’re, like, going to stick around and fight because they’re big old tough boys.

[Thomas]
Sure. They’re strong, strong men.

[Shep]
Oh, you have strong men.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah. Or strong men.

[Thomas]
The bearded lady scuttles off into the night.

[Shep]
Scuttles off?

[Thomas]
I don’t know.

[Shep]
So I’m thinking, like, Steve has made a ring of fire around the tent so nobody can escape, but the trapeze guys are flinging people out through a hole in the tent.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
Everybody’s got a role to play.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
So do we see Margo’s comeuppance, or does she just kind of escape into the darkness?

[Shep]
We got to see everybody’s comeuppance.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
So Margo has to meet a comeuppance in a way that we reference earlier or we set up earlier in the movie.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
I don’t know. That’s another problem for the writers.

[Thomas]
Is it Cynthia that delivers that comeuppance to Margo?

[Shep]
It’s Cynthia, or the released people. Like Cynthia could already be heading into the center to rescue Gerard.

[Thomas]
Yeah, it should be everyone else.

[Emily]
I think it should be everyone else with the knife throwers.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Well, I want to hold the knife throwers back because I want to use them-

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
Or I want to use the woman knife thrower to distract Steve with a loud noise, the way that he distracted the knife thrower with noises.

[Emily]
Smart.

[Shep]
See, we set it up, and then we pay it off.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yep.

[Shep]
That’s why I don’t want to use them to also do the comeuppance for Margo, because then it’s just like, what Is Cynthia even here for?

[Emily]
Right. So the fight with Margo and Cynthia, she gets the keys away from her somehow, right?

[Shep]
Yes. Yeah. Good. That’s where the keys come from. Good job.

[Emily]
So they struggle and she gets the keys and lets the others out.

[Shep]
Oh, I figured out how she gets the keys away from Margo. Margo has a bear trap. And she keeps threatening Gerard with it. So Cynthia has set it up and leads Margo to it, and Margo gets her foot caught in the bear trap. And that’s enough distraction for Cynthia to grab the keys. And that keeps Margo in place temporarily. I mean, not permanently. She’s a demon. She’s going to get out.

[Emily]
I don’t know. It could be made of iron. And she’s trapped.

[Shep]
Ho.

[Thomas]
Does iron trap demons?

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
That’s what they want you to think.

[Emily]
They replace the clown’s seltzer water with holy water.

[Shep]
Hoho.

[Thomas]
Would be kind of funny if the clowns were just off in town. This whole thing goes down and they come back and everything’s on fire, and they’re like, “What the hell?”

[Emily]
I really think that the clowns shouldn’t be involved. They should be the ones that get away because they’re clowns. And I see them as inconsequential without a leader like Margo or Steve.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, the clowns could come back while things are going on. And Margo’s like, “Get your asses in here and help.” And the car just drives away.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
The clowns just leave. Margo’s like, “Fucking clowns.”

[Shep]
That’s our one f-bomb for the movie.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
So, yeah, Cynthia lets all the others out, and then they come and, you know, chant, “One of us, one of us,” as they tear her limb from limb. Do we need to actually see it? Can it just be a moment where you see the look of horror on Margo’s face and then we cut away, just knowing that they’ve defeated her somehow?

[Thomas]
I mean, how do they defeat demons? Because we need to set that up at some point pretty early.

[Emily]
Well, they can have a conversation about- Because I don’t want to go into the whole demonology lore of iron and salt and all that.

[Thomas]
I mean, we can make up whatever we want.

[Emily]
Exactly.

[Thomas]
It’s our story.

[Emily]
I don’t want to go with the known lore.

[Emily]
So there could be a moment where once it’s revealed, Margo’s asking questions about sort of their mortality, and it’s revealed that they’re not-

[Shep]
Margo’s asking questions?

[Emily]
Not Margo. I’m sorry.

[Shep]
Margo should know.

[Emily]
Cynthia is asking questions about their mortality, and if they can’t be stopped, what’s the point? And all that stuff. And it’s revealed that they’re not immortal, but it’s very difficult to kill them, and they’ve only seen it happen once.

[Shep]
I like the iron idea that you’re like, “Forget iron.” I’m like, whoa, hold on. What if the horse rider tried to make an escape during a show by trying to ride the horse out of the tent? Because any demon that tried to stop her would get run over. And horses have iron shod feet, and that pissed Steve right off. But there’s, like, horseshoes on the walls in the cart that the bear is in.

[Thomas]
Right. Because they’ve got the old train car.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So there’s iron all over there. That’s why Steve doesn’t go into that one. So I like the iron thing.

[Emily]
Okay, we can keep the iron thing. Well, yeah, because then if we get her trapped in the bear trap-

[Thomas]
Ooh. So surely the circus would have a blacksmith or just, like, a handyman kind of guy who can do some smithing. And if he’s working with iron, he couldn’t be a demon. He would be allergic to the iron or whatever the rules are.

[Shep]
Right. That’s also why they have to have non-demons there, for these types of roles.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah. And so Cynthia could go to that handyman guy and ask him to make special something to put onto Gerard so that Gerard has iron on his paws that he could use as a weapon. So when he swipes at Steve, Steve’s like, “What are you going to do? You’re going to claw me? Ooh.” But then he does, and it cuts him and he’s like, “Wait, what?” Or something along those lines. Or maybe Gerard’s whole purpose in the fight is just to keep Steve busy. Why doesn’t Steve just kill Gerard immediately, though? Like, why is he standing around fighting this bear?

[Shep]
Damn it, Thomas.

[Emily]
Why’d you have to ask that question? It’s just a movie.

[Shep]
Turn your brain off and enjoy it.

[Emily]
Demons are afraid of bears.

[Shep]
I hate how stupid movies are. And this is one of those things where if I saw this movie, I’m like, “Why didn’t they just kill the bear?”

[Thomas]
“You know, guys, blood has iron in it, and so if steve gets blood on him, then-“

[Shep]
You’ve ruined it. You’ve ruined it.

[Emily]
You’ve poked holes in everything.

[Shep]
Do we have any angels in this, or is it just demons?

[Thomas]
Well, the existence of demons suggests the existence of angels, so.

[Emily]
We have not put any angels in this. But you had mentioned earlier if maybe Gerard was actually an angel, or at least on that plane.

[Shep]
I don’t think Gerard is. I think Steve kills Gerard fairly quickly.

[Thomas]
Oh, okay.

[Shep]
So everyone goes in to fight Steve, thinking that he’s still fighting Gerard. Gerard’s already dead. But a character that we’ve established earlier shows up and touches Gerard. Gerard wakes up, and the character is like, “Go and help your friend.” It’s an angel. The angel is there. The angel’s watching out for people. I don’t know why they haven’t stopped this demon circus earlier, but now that they’ve harmed a bear. Whoa, whoa, whoa. So why would angels help out this time? See, we’ve just replaced one question with another question.

[Emily]
Correct.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
That’s why I think we need to explore the idea that while demons are difficult to kill and they have a long life, they can be killed. They are mortal.

[Thomas]
Well, sort of like Highlander rules, right?

[Emily]
Yeah, and we could have established that earlier.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Gerard could have an iron chain around his neck for protection.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Does that do anything special other than keep his jugular safe?

[Thomas]
There’s a band around his neck, and there’s a chain coming from that that is 10ft long.

[Shep]
So he picks up the chain and he swings it.

[Emily]
I mean, he can ride a tricycle. He can do anything.

[Shep]
The tricycle is made of iron!

[Thomas]
A heavy-ass tri-. I guess it’d have to be to hold up a bear. Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah, we got to bring the tricycle back, since it’s iron and it’s like it’s the end of the movie.

[Emily]
Does she ride the tricycle into the flames to save Gerard?

[Thomas]
I feel like we need to put Cynthia in danger from Steve and have Gerard swoop in.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
Right.

[Emily]
Okay, so she’s unlocked everybody from their cells, essentially, and they’re all going after Margo now. And now we have to get Steve to get a hold of Cynthia to put her in imminent danger so that Gerard breaks from his… Maybe she’s going to release Gerard like she’s released everybody else.

[Thomas]
Yes. Yeah.

[Emily]
So she’s on her way to release Gerard, and Steve intercepts her.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Perfect.

[Emily]
And then does his demon scary thing, and Gerard busts out of his cage, car. Whatever.

[Thomas]
Right. So his shackle around his neck thing, the other end of that chain is tied to the frame of the train car, and she has left Gerard there while she let everybody else out, because she can’t be babysitting the bear and have the bear wandering around.

[Emily]
Yeah. Right.

[Thomas]
So she’s like, “I’ll come back for him last. I’ll let everybody else out. We’ll get out of here.” But, yes. Steve interrupts that, so that puts all three of them together. But she hasn’t let Gerard out yet. And so you’re saying Gerard will break out of, like he’s straining against that chain.

[Emily]
Yeah, because he wants to protect her.

[Thomas]
Right. They’re just out of reach.

[Emily]
All right, I got us there. It’s your turn, guys.

[Thomas]
Gerard could be pulling against the chain, and the chain could come loose eventually,

[Emily]
Yeah, maybe she’s gotten the door open, but she just hasn’t unshackled him.

[Thomas]
Right. I mean, she needs to be in an enclosed space. That’s how Steve has her literally cornered.

[Emily]
Right.

[Shep]
Wait, so this all takes place inside Gerard’s cage?

[Thomas]
That’s where it starts.

[Shep]
Well, if it’s in a closed space so that she’s cornered, how does she get out of the cage?

[Thomas]
Maybe she went to get Gerard, and she does unlock him, and she’s like, “Okay, let’s go.” And she starts heading away, and Gerard just fucking books it into the tent, and she’s like, “Where are you going? What are you doing?” Because Gerard’s like, “I am taking care of this guy.” And so she ends up following him back in.

[Shep]
Okay. She opens the door. She’s about to unlock the chain when she hears a cry for help. It’s the other people that she’s released, some of which are fighting Steve, because what are they doing, while she’s unlocking everything? Some are taking out Margo. Some are going after Steve. She hears a cry for help from the tent, so she stops unlocking the chain and goes to help whoever’s calling out to her. Gerard’s upset, and he’s trying to break free. He’s straining against the chain, but she leaves him behind. She goes in to the main tent, where people are fighting Steve, and we don’t see what happens to Gerard. He’s left behind. The humans fight against Steve, and he is taking them out. Why doesn’t he kill them right away? He does. He does. There’s just a lot of them. They have a lot of pent up anger. One of them still, the blacksmith, is there, and Steve ate his wife. And so he’s swinging his iron hammer and trying to take Steve down. So they’re all fighting Steve. Cynthia goes to help. They’re being picked off. Somehow they end up on the highwire act. But Steve’s lit the safety net on fire. So if you fall, you’re just going to land in the net that’s on fire and be burned to death. Cynthia’s the last one. Steve’s about to kill her or knock her off or whatever. And as she’s falling, Gerard leaps out of nowhere, dragging his chain with the broken end on it now. Grabs Cynthia in his mouth, and the chain whips up and wraps around Steve, drags him down into the fire or something. That can’t be the fire, because he’s a fire demon.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
That’s not going to hurt him. That’s going to help him.

[Thomas]
I feel like the chain flipping up around him is deus ex machina.

[Shep]
It’s bear ex machina.

[Thomas]
Well, yeah. Ursa ex machina?

[Shep]
There you go.

[Emily]
But I like the chain getting wrapped around him at some point.

[Shep]
Or Cynthia can crawl onto the back of Gerard. And swing the chain.

[Emily]
Yeah, that works.

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And specifically, then it’s not an accident, it’s intentional.

[Thomas]
If she brought the keys with her into the tent, if they were still just in her hand, then she could unfasten the chain or the collar.

[Shep]
Right. Yes.

[Thomas]
And then. Yeah, now she has a weapon.

[Shep]
So she swings the iron chain and wraps it around him and unlocks the collar and then puts the collar on Steve as he’s wrapped up in iron.

[Thomas]
Well, does the iron have, like, a burning effect on him or like a corrosive effect?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Of course.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Is Margo killed or does she escape?

[Shep]
Well, do you want a sequel or not?

[Thomas]
Yeah, I was going to say.

[Emily]
I kind of like having her get away just because… would be great to see her at the end, starting a new circus.

[Shep]
Oh, she tracks down the clowns. So the post credit scene is the clowns, like, living wild in the woods or whatever, the natural clown habitat.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
And then the semi burnt Margo comes out of the trees. “You backstabbing bastards.”

[Thomas]
Oh, no, it’s not even that. It’s in the middle of the woods. There’s a bunch of dead clowns. Her breathing heavily, and she just goes, “Who’s laughing now?”

[Shep]
That’s great if we establish early that the clowns are antagonistic to Margo.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
To just to everyone, they’re just jerks.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
They’re just assholes. Yes.

[Shep]
They’re cats.

[Emily]
Exactly.

[Shep]
She’s trying to control them, but you can’t control cats.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So at the end, when they abandon her, that’s just their natural state.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So, yeah. Good zinger. Let’s stop recording now.

[Thomas]
Well, we’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode about a Tricycle. Was it just like riding a bike, or was this episode more of a third wheel? Let us know by leaving a comment on our website, reaching out on social media, or sending us an email. Links to all of those can be found at AlmostPlausible.com. We thought Tricycle was a good, ordinary object to use, but maybe you have a better idea. We’d love to make an episode based on your suggestion. So go to the contact form on AlmostPlausible.com, send us your idea, and perhaps Emily, Shep, and I will choose it for the next episode of Almost Plausible.

[Outro music]

[Shep]
Okay, I know. I realize I’m doing that “No no no no no, let me tell you how this story really goes.” Listening to these episodes back again, I realize how often I do this, which is all the time. Have you guys heard this show? I bully you both so much.

[Thomas]
To be fair, Emily, bullied us into picking this one.

[Shep]
Ha.

[Thomas]
So turnabout is fair play.

[Emily]
I was going to say, to be fair, I’m manipulative, so.

[Thomas]
And then I control the edit, so.

[Shep]
Our powers combined. So you make it sound like I bully you.

[Thomas]
Damn. Wait, I’m going to edit all this out.