Chicken Wings

References

• Chicken Run
• THE INSIDE OUTTAKES
• Cars
• Franz Kafka
• The Metamorphosis
• Animaniacs
  • Chicken Boo
• Almost Plausible: Zipper
• Get Smart
• r/BirdsWithArms
• Steven Spielberg
• Almost Plausible: Chicken Noodle Soup
• Almost Plausible: Bratwurst
• Rocky
• Almost Plausible: Post-it Notes
• Guinness World Records: Longest Poultry Flight
• Almost Plausible: Turkey
• Charles Lindbergh
• Chanticleer and the Fox
• The Canterbury Tales
  • The Nun’s Priest’s Tale
• Icarus
• Zootopia
• WKRP in Cincinnati
  • WKRP Turkey Drop
• Back to the Future
  • Biff Tannen

Corrections

Thomas cited the Guinness World Records entry for Longest Poultry Flight, which includes only the distance of the flight, not its duration. While many sources claim 13 seconds, Guinness doesn’t publish a duration, and no reliable source was able to be found to verify the number. It may be true, or may once have been true, but at this point it’s probably best to consider it as unverified folklore.

Shep and Thomas thought that the mascot for Chicken of the Sea is Charlie the Tuna, but they were confusing two popular tuna brands. The mascot for Chicken of the Sea is a mermaid named Catalina, whereas Charlie the Tuna is the mascot for StarKist. Confusing things further is that Charlie Tuna was a radio and television personality in Los Angeles, and StarKist sounds a lot like Sunkist, which is a brand of orange soda.

Emily said the Chanticleer story is from The Canterbury Tales, and while that is the topic of The Nun’s Priest’s Tale, the Chanticleer story seems to predate The Canterbury Tales by at least a century.

Transcript

[Intro music begins]

[Thomas]
I’m more interested in wondering, like, what’s going on in Shep’s brain that he keeps having chicken wings appearing out of backs.

[Emily]
Backs.

[Thomas]
Like-

[Shep]
I can’t, I told you earlier before we started recording that all of mine were variations on the same thing.

[Thomas]
That’s true.

[Shep]
The first one is where a person’s arms turn into chicken wings, which again, you guys didn’t ask, is it human-sized wings or is it chicken-sized wings?

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Emily]
Oh, it’s funnier if it’s chicken-sized wing because then they’re basically a human T-Rex. Like, obviously, that’s the answer.

[Intro music]

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Welcome to Almost Plausible, the podcast where we take ordinary objects and turn them into movies. I’m Thomas J. Brown, and winging it here with me are Emily-

[Emily]
Hey guys!

[Thomas]
And F. Paul Shepard.

[Shep]
(Mumbles, stammers)

[Emily]
You okay there, Shep?

[Thomas]
Not winging it very well, apparently.

[Shep]
Sorry, I thought we were gonna rehearse and you’re like “Today, let’s wing it.”

[Thomas]
Well, today we’re coming up with a movie plot about Chicken Wings. Do you guys eat chicken wings very often?

[Shep]
No, I- never in fact.

[Emily]
Uh, every Thursday night, mostly.

[Thomas]
So, opposite ends of the spectrum there. I see, I see.

[Shep]
Yes, chicken wings just have too much bone and not enough meat.

[Emily]
But the bone gives it all the flavor.

[Shep]
Some people like that-

[Emily]
Mm hmm.

[Shep]
You know, the effort to eat it, it gives you more enjoyment. I get it. I understand, but it’s not for me. I do like boneless chicken wings-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Which are, again, are not chicken wings.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
They’re basically chicken nuggets. Like, yes.

[Emily]
Yeah, they’re almost always made from chicken breast meat, too. It’s not even made from wing meat.

[Shep]
Yes. I mean, it’s white meat, which is close.

[Emily]
That’s the thing that I think that gets me is that it’s like boneless chicken wings. All white boneless chicken wings. Oh, so you mean chicken breast nuggets?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
That is what we mean.

[Emily]
So, don’t call them wings because they’re not even wing meat.

[Shep]
Yeah. I think they call them wings because they’re buffalo sauced.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Right, right.

[Shep]
And that’s what people really want is the spicy buffalo sauce.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I don’t care about the substrate. In fact, just give me a sippy cup full of the sauce.

[Shep]
Yeah. They have the vegetarian buffalo wings that are cauliflower.

[Emily]
Okay, those are freaking delicious. I do love those.

[Thomas]
Yeah, those are great.

[Shep]
As Thomas said, the substrate does not matter.

[Emily]
Does not matter.

[Shep]
It’s all about the sauce.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I used to eat vegan for a while, and there was one Super Bowl where we made those cauliflower wings, and they were so good. Well, Emily, you’re pitching first today, so let’s hear what you have for us for Chicken Wings.

[Emily]
Okay, so I feel like I’ve been pitching first a lot lately, but I’ll go with it.

[Shep]
You’ll keep pitching first until you get it right!

[Emily]
Oh, is that how that works? I haven’t been winning because I’ve been giving shoddy pitches to give you guys time to catch up from the first three years of this podcast.

[Shep]
Well, I appreciate it.

[Emily]
All right.

[Thomas]
Emily, the last time we chose one of your stories was five episodes ago. So-

[Shep]
Oh, geez, really?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Or four, the fifth episode back, I should say.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
So, there’s four episodes between this one and that one.

[Emily]
It’s been a dry spell for me.

[Thomas]
There are three of us, and we had a guest.

[Shep]
The guest episodes don’t count.

[Emily]
They don’t count.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s true. That’s true.

[Emily]
All right. So, my first pitch: in a backyard chicken coop-

[Shep]
I love it. Let’s do this one.

[Emily]
In a backyard.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
End of story.

[Shep]
I’m on board.

[Emily]
There’s so much you can do with it.

[Shep]
The possibilities are literally endless.

[Emily]
All right, in a backyard chicken coop, life is pretty simple. There are plenty of bugs to be eaten, a warm place to roost, and a safe yard for the chickens to roam around. Bianca is living the best life a chicken could ask for.

[Shep]
They already have names?

[Emily]
Just Bianca.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Emily]
Just the one chicken.

[Shep]
That’s the title: “Just Bianca: One chicken’s story.”

[Emily]
But somehow it doesn’t seem like enough. One day a loose flyer blows through the backyard and smacks her in the face. It’s an ad for a local gym offering body building. Bianca looks at the buff tan arms of the people, and realizes what’s missing in her life are strong wings of steel. She begins her pursuit of the biggest, strongest chicken wings any hen has ever seen.

[Shep]
Have you seen the movie Chicken Run?

[Emily]
It’s not Chicken Run! Specifically, it’s backyard chickens. It’s one chicken, and she’s going into a bodybuilding contest. None of that is in Chicken Run.

[Shep]
Okay, have you seen Bo Burnham’s Inside Outtakes, specifically the song about the one chicken who’s unhappy with her life?

[Emily]
I don’t remember if I have seen that one, but yeah, I mean, I feel like it’s probably a dime a dozen story. All right. So, next, I got chicken drumette bones are found in the throats of murder victims. Each victim’s wing has a different sauce, which happens to coincide with the flavor of the week for a local food truck that specializes in chicken wings. The owner of the truck must now prove their innocence while the police are chasing evidence and the serial killer stalks the city.

[Shep]
Now, is there a serial killer, or is the owner’s sauce so good that people are just inhaling the wings and choking on them until they die? It is a killer recipe.

[Thomas]
Mm.

[Emily]
That is an interesting idea and wonderful title. So, yes, that, that is it. And my last pitch is not a pitch. I just really want chicken wings now. I’m hungry. And they just always sound good.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
So, uh I think who’s up next there? Shhhhhhhh Thomas? Tell me what you got.

[Thomas]
An assistant is given the task of ordering buffalo wings for their billionaire boss’s party at the stadium during the Super Bowl. They search for “Wings Restaurant” and find Wings of Lagos, a struggling Nigerian-American family restaurant. With only three days to source, prep, and sauce hundreds of pounds of wings using a recipe they’ve never made before, three generations of the family pour everything they have into pulling it off. But when they arrive at the stadium and are turned away at the security gate, it looks like their gamble may have finally caught up with them.

[Shep]
Just use your cell phone to call them and say, “Your delivery is here at the gate”.

[Thomas]
Ah, but I’ve thought of this. And basically, the billionaire’s party has too much food that no one’s eating. And so, the assistant is just like, “Yeah, never mind, we don’t need it.”

[Shep]
Yeah, you still gotta pay. That’s how ordering works.

[Thomas]
Show me the contract. There’s not a written contract because, you know.

[Emily]
Yeah, this is exactly the conversation we have in the-

[Shep]
Who’s gonna, who’s gonna make, how much did you say?

[Thomas]
Hundreds of pounds.

[Shep]
Hundreds of pounds of wings without having been paid first?

[Emily]
A struggling Nigerian-American family restaurant.

[Shep]
Yeah, no, no. Unless this is why they’re struggling because they make poor business decisions.

[Emily]
Well, I mean, uh, billionaires’ assistants can be very persuasive about, “Of course, he’s gonna pay you. Why would he cheat you? Why would we never pay?”

[Thomas]
And maybe they were like, “Yeah, yeah, just send over the paperwork. We’ll get it done.” But like, they don’t have enough time to, like, wait for a signed contract. They’ve got to get going now.

[Shep]
If you need it done now, it’s going to cost even more-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And it’s still be upfront. That doesn’t change just because you’re in a hurry. That just puts me as the vendor at a greater advantage.

[Thomas]
Well, then they should have called you, Shep, and-

[Shep]
Yeah. Why aren’t I running a business?

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
Why aren’t billionaires asking me for wings? Because I would charge them upfront. Okay, I get it.

[Thomas]
Right, yeah. Yeah.

[Shep]
I get it. I understand.

[Thomas]
My other pitch: An animated family film about a cocky but not too bright chicken-

[Shep]
Cocky! Sorry.

[Thomas]
Who discovers a dusty plaque in the hen house commemorating the world record for chicken flight: 13 seconds. Certain he can beat it, the chicken embarks on a series of increasingly disastrous attempts to prove it. And yes Shep, I have seen Chicken Run.

[Emily]
Also, he then seeks out the help of the number one chicken bodybuilder, Bianca, who helps him.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
Yep. Yep.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Got a crossover episode.

[Thomas]
That’s right. Those are my pitches, Shep what do you have?

[Shep]
Have you seen Cars?

[Thomas]
Yeah, I was actually thinking the same thing.

[Shep]
Okay, someone wakes up with their arms turned into chicken wings, Kafka-style.

[Thomas]
So, it’s like Cluckor Samsa?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Shep, have you ever seen Animaniacs?

[Shep]
Have I seen Animaniacs? Yes.

[Emily]
“You’re not a man, you’re a chicken boo.”

[Shep]
“You’re a chicken boo.” All right. Someone goes to the doctor with back pain, and the doctor discovers what appears to be chicken wings growing out of the person’s back. And, you know, a nurse takes an x-ray of it and puts it on social media where it blows up.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
With some people claiming this person is a real-life angel and others claiming that it’s all a hoax. Neither side listens to the person involved who just wants their back pain to go away and things spiral out of control.

[Emily]
Okay, so I have questions, and I’m afraid of the answer because it’s probably gonna be gross. When they look at it, is it the outline of chicken wings and its spine? Like, are they popping out through the skin? Or is it just like in between the vertebrae or along the vertebrae, there’s some chicken wings? Or is it just like one pair of chicken wings up at the top?

[Thomas]
I see, my question was: are they chicken-sized chicken wings-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Or are they person-sized chicken wings?

[Emily]
There’s so many questions.

[Thomas]
And is there just one pair? Or yeah, like you said, is it, like, sprouting a whole bunch all over his back?

[Emily]
Yeah, because in my brain, I’m seeing a bunch of little chicken wings-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Oh, wow.

[Emily]
Like, lining the spine, and it’s disgusting.

[Thomas]
Also, free chicken wings. In this economy, like, score.

[Emily]
Is there a Zipper involved?

[Thomas]
Oh. Just reach in there and pluck out some chicken wings.

[Shep]
Yep. I hadn’t thought of it as being a bunch of tiny, but now that you’ve said it like that, that’s the image-

[Thomas]
It’s worse, so that’s what we should go for.

[Shep]
Is that stuck in my brain is along each vertebra-

[Emily]
Yeah, there’s a chicken wings.

[Shep]
Is a pair of tiny chicken wings.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Emily]
Oh, that’s so gross.

[Shep]
Yeah. It’s worse later when they’re fully grown and they start flapping.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
The sound.

[Thomas]
Huh, I- you know what? I don’t want to do this one. So, let’s move on.

[Shep]
All right.

[Emily]
You grossed me out.

[Thomas]
Wow. That’s saying something for sure.

[Shep]
I didn’t even talk about the smell.

[Thomas]
You know, that’s one thing about movies that always bugs me is like people will be, you know, they’ll go into a house and they’re like exploring the house. And then there’s, like, a dead body that’s been there for a week. And I’m like, “They would have noticed the moment they opened the door.”

[Emily]
Yes, yes.

[Shep]
Yeah, they would have noticed the moment they got to the door.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
That’s how you know it’s a good movie. They come up and they’re like, “God, what is that smell?” “I don’t know, a dead cat or something.”

[Thomas]
I think I’ve complained about this before where it’s like someone will be standing somewhere and then a helicopter will come up from below a cliff and they’ll be like, “Oh my gosh, a helicopter.” Like, you can hear helicopters from miles away.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
They are so loud. Like, no one’s going to be surprised. You’d spend the whole time looking around like, “Where’s that helicopter I keep hearing?”

[Emily]
Exactly.

[Shep]
You’ve got to get the Shushcopter from Get Smart.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s right.

[Emily]
Well, you know, the soundtrack is blasting so loud you can’t hear anything.

[Thomas]
Right, right.

[Shep]
Right. Okay. A depressed, middle-aged man attempts to leap to his death only for wings to appear on his back, carrying him down safely. They seem to only appear when he is truly happy, which is why they haven’t shown up until now.

[Emily]
So, wait-

[Shep]
Yes, he was truly happy after he jumped.

[Emily]
But then-

[Shep]
For the first time!

[Emily]
And then and they took him to safety.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
What a curse.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
That’s so sad. So, then he goes, he lands and he’s like, “Aww.” But they only happen when he’s truly happy.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
But he’s depressed all the time.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
So, is he only happy when he’s trying to commit suicide?

[Shep]
It was the first time he was ever happy, yes.

[Emily]
Oh, so he doesn’t know. Well, there’s no way he could know that’s why they appeared, right?

[Shep]
Look, don’t question it.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
I’m more interested in wondering, like, what’s going on in Shep’s brain that he keeps having chicken wings appearing out of backs.

[Emily]
Backs.

[Thomas]
Like-

[Shep]
I can’t, I told you earlier before we started recording that all of mine were variations on the same thing.

[Thomas]
That’s true.

[Shep]
The first one is where a person’s arms turn into chicken wings, which again, you guys didn’t ask, is it human-sized wings or is it chicken-sized wings?

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Emily]
Oh, it’s funnier if it’s chicken-sized wing because then they’re basically a human T-Rex. Like, obviously, that’s the answer.

[Thomas]
He’s trying to get on the Birds with Arms subreddit, like, “Anyone heard of a reverse situation?”

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
I mean, I really dig the Kafka style with a-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Tiny chicken wings, so they’re basically a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

[Shep]
Now, does the person continue to convert into a chicken? Like in The Metamorphosis–

[Emily]
Like Metamorphosis.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
He starts as a bug, but he’s still thinking like a person, and that doesn’t last. So.

[Emily]
Well, I mean, he’s not a man. He’s a Chicken Boo.

[Shep]
Yes, you’re right.

[Emily]
Steven Spielberg could be all over the- Let’s do this one.

[Shep]
I don’t want to get-

[Emily]
And-

[Shep]
Sued by Steven Spielberg.

[Emily]
No no no he’ll love it so much. He’ll think it’s so funny that he’ll be like, “No, we’re gonna make this. And we’ll have a live-action Chicken Boo.”

[Shep]
Oh my gosh.

[Thomas]
Well, I think we know Emily’s vote.

[Shep]
Live action Chicken Boo.

[Thomas]
Shep, which one of these are you liking?

[Shep]
If I just keep thinking, are they, do they have, like, fake arms that they wear? Like in a jacket or whatever, but then they get jostled and their jacket with fake arms falls off-

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
And everyone goes, “Oh, you’re a chicken!”

[Emily]
Keep selling it, man. I’m buying all of this. Just keep selling it.

[Shep]
All right, let’s look at these others again. So, we have the family restaurant one, which I like.

[Thomas]
Mm hmm.

[Emily]
That one is a good one. I like that one a lot.

[Shep]
The chicken that wants to fly, the chicken that wants buff arms, both of these are good. The chicken sauce recipe that’s so good you eat to death.

[Thomas]
I like that, that’s funny.

[Emily]
I like that. When you added that, that makes it better.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah, I don’t know. I have no idea.

[Emily]
We could combine the two animated chicken stories in that instead of her becoming a bodybuilder, you could throw that plotline into the chicken who wants- gotta have stronger wings.

[Shep]
I want the bodybuilder one to be her backstory.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
So, when he goes to her for training, she’s already got, like, bodybuilder posters inside her coop.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
She’s got buff chicken wings.

[Emily]
Yeah, so we could just combine those. That makes it six, right?

[Shep]
Yeah, roll the dice. Or let’s just do the animated one.

[Emily]
We do have a lot of good ones. The Nigerian one lends itself to social commentary. Is that something we could…

[Shep]
Us? Make an episode about social commentary? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Emily]
This, this is what I’m saying. Yeah, yeah. I’m like, are we gonna talk about more intergenerational family stuff? Is it gonna be maybe more current event society?

[Thomas]
I didn’t imagine that it would be current event-y. I think there’s definitely intergenerational stuff.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
Look, billionaires are a timeless problem.

[Emily]
This is true.

[Shep]
So, it’s-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
It’s true. I just was like, we could do a lot with it. If we wanted to go more social commentary-

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Emily]
There’s a lot there. If we don’t want to go social commentary and we just want to do family drama, which we all love family drama around food, obviously.

[Thomas]
I mean, it is a classic genre of film, right?

[Emily]
And if you’ve listened to our show, there’s a lot of family drama around food.

[Shep]
Yeah, listen to the Chicken Soup episode again. It’s really good.

[Emily]
And Bratwurst. I really like Bratwurst.

[Shep]
My only problem with the rest-, the family restaurant one is that I can kind of basically see the entire movie already, including the ending. You know what I mean? Like, what, what are we missing? Because we have seen movies like this. I like these kind of comforting, warm family movies. I like restaurants struggling and overcoming hardships. Like, this is classic stuff.

[Emily]
This is a good, good money maker, that we don’t need to explore, is what you’re saying. We just put it off to the side.

[Shep]
So, this one could be made on a small budget and turn a profit.

[Emily]
Yeah, we just shove this to the side. We develop later on our own. So, okay, animated buff chickens.

[Thomas]
The animated one, I think, I like the idea of combining the two of them together, but I’m not really sure what the story really is.

[Emily]
About overcoming adversity and being the best you, growing strong.

[Shep]
It’s Rocky.

[Emily]
It’s, yeah, I was gonna say it’s an 80s Saturday morning cartoon.

[Thomas]
But it doesn’t feel like a feature-length film.

[Emily]
Yeah, there’s a lot of movies that don’t feel like a feature-like film that are. I mean.

[Thomas]
Yeah, they’re bad.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Thomas]
All right, well, we got to pick one of these stories. I don’t want to do either of Shep’s chicken wings back ones. Those are too gross.

[Shep]
One is depressing, not gross.

[Thomas]
It’s less gross.

[Emily]
Yeah. I don’t think the suicide one is that gross. I imagine a fluffy pair of chicken wings popping out, not like, you know, skin.

[Shep]
Oh, see, I’d imagined, like, ethereal wings coming out.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
If they’re physical wings, how do they get out of his clothes? Like, that’s, don’t, don’t try to do the logic.

[Emily]
Ethereal, so they’re, like, outlined chicken wings? Like, how do we know they’re chicken wings?

[Thomas]
Ghostly, sort of.

[Shep]
They’re, yeah, they’re transparent.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
They’re ghost wings.

[Emily]
Ghost wings. Okay.

[Shep]
Ghost pepper chicken wings.

[Emily]
Mmm…

[Thomas]
But yeah, I see what you’re saying. Like, how do we know those are chicken wings?

[Shep]
Yeah, so we can’t do that one.

[Thomas]
So, I feel like for Shep’s, it’s the guy, it’s the Kafka one. For Emily, it’s the serial killer one. Or the killer sauce, maybe not actually a serial killer.

[Emily]
Yeah, I like him better as a killer sauce.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
But they think he’s a serial killer. It’s Post-it Note over again, but better.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
Better? I liked Post-it Note. Did you not like Post-it Note?

[Emily]
No, I did like Post-it Note, but I feel like this concept’s a little bit… I don’t know. It could be less farcical.

[Shep]
Oh, yes. Yeah.

[Thomas]
It could be, but why?

[Emily]
I mean, when you can do a farce.

[Thomas]
And then for me, it’s the family restaurant.

[Shep]
All right, which one of these do we want to talk more about?

[Thomas]
I agree with you, Shep, about mine that, like, I can see the whole movie.

[Emily]
Hmm.

[Thomas]
What are we bringing to the table? Like, it would basically, this episode would basically just be us going like, “Yep. Mm hmm. Yep.”

[Emily]
“Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And then A, and then B.”

[Thomas]
So, they maybe that’s not very interesting.

[Shep]
So, what I’m hearing is you need someone to go, “No, no, no, no,” and make it interesting. Okay, got it. Message received.

[Emily]
Their chicken wings are so good, people start dropping dead in the parking lot because they can’t get enough.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
Now here’s a question with Emily’s one. If it is just the fact that the sauce is so good that people are accidentally choking on bones, is that ending unsatisfying? Or is that the mid-second act turning point? And then it turns out the sauce is criminally good on purpose.

[Shep]
Right, there’s a secret ingredient-

[Thomas]
Yes. It’s not everyone who eats the-

[Emily]
Oh.

[Thomas]
The chicken bones.

[Shep]
It’s only those who have sinned.

[Thomas]
Whoever’s making it, they sprinkle something, the secret ingredient on top.

[Emily]
So, we twist the twist-

[Shep]
Ooh.

[Emily]
Is what you’re saying.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Because otherwise, like… It feels like a “It was all a dream” type of ending where you’re like, “Well, then why did I watch this?”

[Shep]
I kind of want to do the animated one.

[Emily]
I like that.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Yeah, let’s do the chicken.

[Shep]
Oh, let’s do the chicken.

[Emily]
Let’s do the chicken.

[Shep]
Which one of these had chicken in it? Let me look through the-

[Thomas]
Let’s do the one with the chicken wings. Yeah.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
I mean, yeah, we can do the animated one. I just, I would guess I would, before we get too far into it, I’d want to know, like, what is resolution? Like, presumably, he’s got to beat the record.

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
Do any of the other chickens care?

[Shep]
Who set the record?

[Thomas]
I mean, this is a real thing. We can find out. Okay, so the according to the Guinness book of World Records, the longest poultry flight was by Sheena, a barnyard bantam owned by Bill and Bob Knox. It flew 192.07 meters, which is 630 feet and 2 inches.

[Shep]
Ooh.

[Emily]
It’s six football fields.

[Thomas]
It was it Parksburg, Pennsylvania on May 31st, 1985.

[Shep]
But how long did it take?

[Thomas]
13 seconds.

[Shep]
So, I thought that the plaque is because someone in that chicken coop-

[Thomas]
That was what I was thinking as well, so-

[Shep]
I was leaning more towards he doesn’t beat the record because it’s his grandfather’s record. And he doesn’t, at the, at the last minute. He, like, at the beginning, his character arc is that he wants to set a new record. And then at the end, he’s like, “No, family is more important.”

[Thomas]
Maybe it’s one of those things where it’s “Oh, if I can do this, I’ll be a popular chicken,” or “I’ll have, like, made my mark on the world” or “I’ll have done something important.” And he realizes that that’s not what matters. Like, posterity is not what matters. It’s how you live your life-

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And take care of the chickens around you.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And so, he helps Bianca with her weightlifting regimen.

[Shep]
Right. She wants to be a boxer, a featherweight.

[Thomas]
So, maybe that, like, there is a sort of two-hander, right? Where we’ve got this as yet unnamed chicken who wants to fly, and she wants to be this strongest, this buff chicken. And so, they’re working together to try to reach their goals.

[Shep]
Right. She did the exercising, but was too afraid to actually get in the ring.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
She’s chicken.

[Thomas]
Hey. And is there like a barnyard boxing thing that happens on, like, Friday nights in the barn and-

[Emily]
Sure.

[Shep]
Yes. 100%.

[Thomas]
All the different animals come together and-

[Emily]
Yep.

[Shep]
Right. You have the pig announcer. Oh, you have the-

[Emily]
Yep.

[Shep]
Pig’s doing play-by-play.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
The dog is the ref.

[Emily]
Goat’s the ring girl.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
She’s eating the sign that says what round number it is. Okay. Well, I like this more and more.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I agree.

[Emily]
Okay, so-

[Thomas]
So, we should name this chicken.

[Emily]
Yeah, name that chicken.

[Thomas]
We got Bianca, so what’s this guy? Does he also have a B name? Brian or something? Or does he distinctly not have a B name?

[Emily]
Bertram.

[Shep]
He’s Cianca. All I can think of is the names for the turkeys in our turkey episode.

[Thomas]
I can’t even remember those. Tom?

[Shep]
Tom, yeah. Jake, I think, was, was-

[Emily]
Yeah, Jake was one.

[Thomas]
All right, that sounds familiar. Yeah, yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah, because Jake is apparently what you call a young male turkey.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Emily]
Well, okay, so do we want to do the alliteration and the B names? We’ve got Bertram, Bernard, Bastion, Basil-

[Shep]
Basil Chicken. Sounds delicious.

[Emily]
Beauregard.

[Thomas]
Beauregard.

[Shep]
He’s Chicken Beau.

[Thomas]
That’s the, uh, the grandfather’s name is Beauregard.

[Emily]
Beauregard. Okay.

[Thomas]
He could be Charlie. Charlie Chicken?

[Emily]
Could be Charlie, Chester.

[Shep]
Wasn’t Charlie the Chicken of the Sea mascot?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Oh yeah, Charlie Tuna.

[Shep]
Charlie Tuna.

[Thomas]
I think Charlie works because his given name is Charles, like Charles Lindbergh’s, he wants to be known for this record flight.

[Shep]
Oh, yes.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Shep]
Oh, yep. Yep.

[Emily]
Sold.

[Thomas]
So-

[Shep]
Sold.

[Thomas]
Okay. So, we have Charlie and Bianca. Charlie wants to set a record for his flight. Bianca wants to get really buff wings.

[Shep]
Yes. Now, are they going to end up together at the end? Is this a rom-com as well?

[Thomas]
Hmm. Or are they just friends? Platonic chickens?

[Emily]
It’s a great name for a band.

[Thomas]
It is.

[Shep]
Oh, my god, you are so hungry.

[Thomas]
So, I imagine a scene early on. Obviously, the beginning of the film, we sort of meet Charlie and Bianca and establish the- Oh, god, my brain. Establish the current pecking order-

[Shep]
Ha ha ha.

[Thomas]
Of how things work in the coop or the yard or whatever it is they are. And then I imagine Charlie is in the coop and he finds the plaque and Bianca is in the yard and the flyer smacks her in the face and they both find these things and they go running to tell each other because they’re best buds. And that’s, like, at the same time, they both are like, “Oh I’m going to do this thing.”

[Shep]
Oh, see, I- because earlier we talked about her backstory being she’s already doing this.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Emily]
Yes she’s already in training.

[Shep]
Yeah, that’s why he seeks her out because her wings are strong and he wants to make his wings strong.

[Thomas]
Is she an intimidating chicken to him?

[Shep]
Yeah, yes.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
That’s part of the reason he wants to set this record. You know, he can’t fight the other chickens.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
So, like the literal pecking order, he would lose out.

[Thomas]
Right. He’s not the cock of the walk.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yes, that makes sense.

[Shep]
But if he could just beat his grandfather’s record, then everyone would have to respect him.

[Emily]
Well, because everybody respected his grandpa.

[Thomas]
Oh, hold on. Okay, maybe this is too deep of a cut. Forget Beauregard. His name is Chanticleer.

[Shep]
I don’t know how to spell that.

[Thomas]
Chauncey. It’s a super old story, but it’s about, like, Chanticleer is this rooster that all the other chickens look up to, and he, like, has this great singing voice or whatever that makes all the-

[Emily]
Oh-

[Thomas]
Hens horny.

[Emily]
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas]
And then, like, a fox sneaks in one day and, like, nabs him and he tricks the fox.

[Emily]
I actually had a really cute version of this book when I was a kid. Very beautiful chicken illustrations.

[Shep]
So, there is no cut that is too deep, for the record. That should just be our standard.

[Thomas]
I mean, that’s why we have references on the website, right?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
So, Chauncey was this, like, great, well-respected rooster, and Charlie is a descendant of his who is not so well respected. So, he wants this record, he wants to break this record to become respected, at least, if not famous.

[Shep]
Now, is Chauncey still alive at the beginning?

[Thomas]
Oh.

[Shep]
Hmm.

[Thomas]
Oh, I- could be.

[Shep]
Because I have thoughts for either direction.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that could put a lot of pressure on Charlie initially and really shortcut the story so that we understand why he feels the way he does, why he feels so much pressure to demonstrate that he is a chicken of worth.

[Shep]
Yes, not just to the barnyard or the coop, but to his grandfather.

[Thomas]
Mm hmm.

[Shep]
So, he could be, you could see a scene where he’s getting bullied by other chickens at the beginning. And Chauncey happens to be passing by and says a word. And all the other chickens respect him and scram. Scramble? No. And so-

[Thomas]
Run, like chicken run.

[Shep]
Chicken run, yes. Charlie’s like, “Thanks.” And Chauncey’s like, “Stop embarrassing me” or something like that. Like-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He helped him, but he’s also burdened by this-

[Thomas]
Bird and?

[Shep]
By this great pressure. And it also could be Chauncey just wants, he’s worries about Charlie and, and wants him to get his life in order before he dies, before Chauncey dies. And so, he’s extra hard on Charlie, but it’s not like, Charlie doesn’t see it as being, helping him grow. It just sees it as this unnecessary, undue pressure that other chickens don’t have to go through.

[Thomas]
Or that from Charlie’s perspective, it’s like, “Oh, Chauncey is disappointed in me. I’m letting him down.” And Chauncey’s perspective is like, “You need to toughen up because I won’t always be around.”

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
“And I feel like maybe you’re not quite ready to be out on your own-“

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
“But you really should be by this age.”

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And so, he’s trying to be hard on him because it builds character. Does Chauncey make some sort of a remark about Bianca, how she’s strong and has her shit together?

[Shep]
I don’t think it’s necessary-

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
For Chauncey to be in it that much-

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Other than the beginning as the inciting incident to set things in motion.

[Thomas]
And act like we said, as that shortcut for the audience to understand the pressure that Charlie feels.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Okay. And then does Chauncey die at some point before the end of the film?

[Shep]
I mean, it depends on, we are powered by audience tears.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So, I would assume, yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Yeah.

[Shep]
And that’s part of the reason Charlie doesn’t want to break the record. Because it’s like, here is one, here’s one last memorial for my grandfather.

[Thomas]
That could be, like, end of the second act, part of Charlie’s lowest low.

[Emily]
Yeah. That works for me.

[Shep]
Oh, does Chauncey die because of Charlie?

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
Not, well, hear me out. Does he die protecting or rescuing Charlie?

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, I could see that. Charlie is trying to, he’s trying to do flying practice, and he flies out of the protected area and there’s a fox or something. I don’t know how closely we want to go toward the Chanticleer story, but-

[Shep]
As much as you want, because no one’s going to get it.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s true.

[Shep]
And also, it’s public domain now.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Okay, whoa, it is public domain. It’s been public domain for centuries because it’s from the Canterbury Tales, which is why I know it. It’s the nuns’ priests’ tale.

[Thomas]
Ah, okay.

[Shep]
So, perfect. So, we can reference that as much as we want.

[Emily]
That’s right.

[Shep]
And literary nerds will get the extra bonuses and it won’t interfere with anyone else.

[Emily]
Nope.

[Thomas]
So, Charlie ends up outside of the coop and Chauncey has to come and rescue him or help him get back.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
He can’t fly back up over. And so, Chauncey has to come and help him. But in so doing, a fox comes along and nabs him.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And Charlie blames himself, of course.

[Shep]
Of course.

[Emily]
Well, it’s clearly his fault.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
He flew too close to the sun.

[Thomas]
Yeah, right. Let’s get a little-

[Shep]
Icarus.

[Thomas]
A little Icarus in there. Yeah.

[Emily]
I mean…

[Thomas]
That feels like a pretty good setup for our story. So, let’s take a break here. And when we come back, we’ll find out Charlie’s training regime and how Bianca fits into it in our Chicken Wings episode.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we’re back. And before the break, we decided that Charlie feels like he is the cause of his grandfather’s death when he goes flying or attempts to go flying and ends up outside of the protected chicken coop area or chicken yard area.

[Shep]
So, he was flying. He did fly. That’s the problem.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So, I thought, what if Bianca is the one that throws Chauncey over the fence?

[Thomas]
You mean Charlie?

[Shep]
Chauncey can’t do it. No, no. Charlie flies over the fence.

[Thomas]
Oh, oh, I see what you’re saying. But Chauncey’s too old.

[Shep]
Chauncey’s too old.

[Thomas]
He’s not a flyer anymore.

[Shep]
And he’s like, “Bianca, throw me.” And she throws him. And he gets over and he saves Charlie from the ferret or whatever it was in Chanticleer.

[Thomas]
Fox.

[Shep]
Fox. Yeah. Something with an F, animal that starts with F.

[Thomas]
Fish.

[Shep]
It was a firefly. Yeah.

[Thomas]
It was a freaking wombat.

[Shep]
So, Charlie blames himself internally, but fights with Bianca externally because she is the one that threw Chauncey-

[Emily]
Who threw him.

[Shep]
Over the fence.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Makes sense.

[Shep]
So, this is where you can have our two leads have their breakup fight for a while-

[Thomas]
Yep.

[Shep]
As is required by Hollywood law.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Yes, but at least this one makes sense.

[Shep]
This one actually makes sense.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
This is not just a misunderstanding that can be solved with communication.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
I mean, sort of, but, like-

[Emily]
No, no, it’s-

[Thomas]
It’s definitely a hard conversation to have.

[Emily]
It’s a hard conversation.

[Thomas]
It’s not one of those ones where someone just chose not to speak up in the moment.

[Emily]
Yes, it’s not a misunderstanding that is easily, like-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Just talk. It’s a-

[Thomas]
Right, right.

[Emily]
“Okay, that, you have legitimate feelings here, and I see where they’re coming from, but we need to have a solid conversation.”

[Thomas]
So, if that’s the end of the second act, what’s everything leading up to that point? How do we get them there? So, we established early on, the beginning of the first act is establish everyone’s roles and that Charlie feels the pressure from Chauncey.

[Shep]
Yes. And also the pressure from all the other chickens.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
He’s the lowest on the pecking order.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And everyone picks on him. And his life is awful. He’s bullied all the time.

[Emily]
Is Bianca outside the pecking order? Because she’s just, like, got these buff arms, so, like, they won’t mess with her, but she’s not really one of them.

[Thomas]
Well, I think that there’s a division by sexes, right?

[Emily]
Well, yeah, the roosters.

[Thomas]
There’s the cocks and the hens.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And so, he’s being sort of teased by his peers or disrespected by his peers.

[Emily]
Who are afraid of Bianca and her giant wings.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
I just imagine she’s just like, (flexing noises), all over the-

[Thomas]
They keep all the hens in order, but Bianca kind of gets to do whatever she wants.

[Emily]
She’s a little bit outside of that pecking order, which is why Charlie would also be drawn to her because she’s not part of the group.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that makes sense. Right, he is an outcast-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
By- the group has outcast him and she has sort of outcast herself or ostracized herself.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that makes sense.

[Shep]
She’s not ostracized. She just doesn’t play their reindeer games.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right, that’s what I mean, yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah. You have a scene where he’s introduced to Bianca because the chickens are there. Maybe the roosters are trying to get the hens in order or whatever. And Charlie’s hen won’t listen to him or whatever. And also the other chickens are teasing him. And then Bianca comes through and he’s, like, waiting for one of them to, like, get her in line. But she is, she is an Amazon. Like-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
It would go very poorly. So, she either ignores whatever they say or, like, is not affected by it. Or one of them comes up to try to tell her… Oh, go ahead, Emily, you have a thing.

[Emily]
No, yeah. What I was thinking is they ignore her. They’re not gonna do anything. And Charlie’s like, “This one’s not gonna listen to me.” And he just is trying to get somebody. So, he, he tries to get her in line. And she’s like, “What?” And so, she’s like, “I’m gonna see how this plays out.” And does what he says.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
She absolutely wouldn’t. No, no, no. Because she’s tall and she’s buff.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
So, he comes out and he tries to get her to get in line with the other hens, but like stammers it out and is like mumbling.

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
And then she takes one of her big giant muscular wings and pats him on the shoulder. And she’s like, “That was very brave. Go away.”

[Emily]
I like that. I like that.

[Thomas]
I sort of imagined when he’s trying to get his one hen in line and she’s just not paying attention, Bianca just sort of like picks that hen up, puts it in line, and then kind of gives Charlie this look like, “I got you, bro.” Maybe that comes later.

[Shep]
Oh, as she’s walking away, ignoring what Charlie told her to do-

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s right.

[Emily]
No, yeah, I like that.

[Thomas]
She’s not getting in line.

[Shep]
Her foot just goes out and pushes that hen into line. She doesn’t even turn her head and look.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s funny.

[Emily]
I like that. Because that could be part of what draws him to her, too. It’s like-

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
She shows a small amount of respect-ish, like, for his existence.

[Thomas]
Yeah, she kind of helped him out.

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
She’s, like, acknowledged his existence and that, you know, he had a job to do.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I think that gives a good reason. He’s like, “She kind of helped me out once, maybe. She might maybe help me again.”

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
And then that’s when he approaches her about it. So, what is that switch from he doesn’t know how to get respect to he sees this and this becomes his, like, his guiding light or whatever. The flight thing becomes what he wants to do.

[Shep]
When he finds the plaque, yeah.

[Thomas]
The plaque. Okay.

[Shep]
Maybe he’s being punished by something. “Oh, you gotta go clean the attic” or whatever.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
And that’s where the plaque is. And so, when he’s up there and he cleans it and he sees that, and it’s the, I guess it’s the scene from Cars–

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
Where he discovers Doc’s, posters, and old trophies and stuff.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And he’s like, “Oh,” you know, “My grandfather was amazing. No wonder everyone respects him and listens to him. If I could do this, everyone would respect and listen to me.”

[Thomas]
Surely he goes to the grandfather first and is like “Oh train me” and the grandfather’s like “Bro I haven’t flown in years. I have no reason to.”

[Shep]
Does he? Or is he kind of ashamed-

[Thomas]
Oh, is he too intimidated?

[Shep]
That he wants to steal this record from his grandfather?

[Thomas]
Well maybe he doesn’t straight up say, like, “I’m going to break your record,” he just says, like, “Oh make me a good, help me be a good flyer. If I’m a good flyer, I can impress people.”

[Shep]
I don’t, see, I think that he doesn’t even think it all the way through. He just thinks, “Oh, my grandfather did this and he got respect. If I do this, I’ll get respect.”

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
He doesn’t think until later, it’s like, “Oh, if I do this, I break my grandfather’s record.”

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
That’s when it’s, that’s where he starts to have doubts.

[Thomas]
Is that something that happens during the second act where that kind of comes up and maybe there’s some friction between him and the grandfather? Or does the grandfather even realize what’s going on the whole time?

[Emily]
He has to realize what’s going on for when he accidentally flies over the fence or out of the barnyard.

[Shep]
Oh yeah. Yeah. Grandfather’s no dummy.

[Thomas]
Right, we don’t want, that shouldn’t be a surprise, yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
So, I think we need to have some of some something there.

[Shep]
Oh! The grandfather punished him to have him clean the attic because he knew all that stuff was up there.

[Emily]
To give him direction.

[Shep]
It was intentional. He’s trying to put this pressure on Charlie, and Charlie doesn’t listen if he says it in words. But maybe, maybe I can give him direction in another way.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
So, he wants Charlie to break his record. If he came, if Charlie came to him, he would train him.

[Emily]
But Charlie doesn’t want to come to him.

[Shep]
Charlie doesn’t come to him.

[Emily]
He’s got do it on his own.

[Shep]
Yes. Also, he’s afraid of his grandfather.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
He’s, I was gonna say he’s afraid of his grandfather, and his grandfather always says things like, “You gotta figure it out for yourself. You gotta-“

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Emily]
“Be your own cock. You gotta-“

[Thomas]
Right, he’s trying to instill this sense of independence-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
And so, Charlie’s like “Well if I go to him-“

[Emily]
“I can’t ask him. He won’t help me.”

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Okay, I have a question. I know this is late into it to bring this up, but we have so far talked about them living in a coop as if they are chickens on a farm. Is it not just a chicken society? She’s got posters. She wants to be a boxer. Like, these are, you know, you know what I mean?

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Like, it could just be, because I don’t want to be too close to our Turkey episode.

[Emily]
Yeah, okay.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Emily]
It could just be an animal world.

[Shep]
It’s just an animal, it’s a, it’s a, sorry, it’s a turkey world. No, god damn it. It’s the thing I’m avoiding.

[Emily]
It’s not a turkey world.

[Shep]
It’s a chicken world.

[Thomas]
So, like Zootopia?

[Shep]
No, it’s not other animals. It’s just chickens.

[Emily]
Then where does the fox come from?

[Thomas]
What I mean is that there’s a city and it’s chickens living in a city.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
Oh, it’s like the chicken neighborhood of a larger city.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Oh yeah there you go.

[Shep]
That’s where the fox comes from.

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
Right, so, you’ve got animals that all live in their respective areas?

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah, because then if we don’t have the other animals, you can’t have the goat in a bikini with six tops eating-

[Shep]
Six bikinis, yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Emily]
Eating the-

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
There’s got to be some kind of a fence though, there’s some zone-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Maybe this is like medieval chickens so there’s like a castle that they live in?

[Emily]
This is their keep.

[Thomas]
I’m trying to think of, like- Chicken keep? I’m trying to think of, like, why would there be walls?

[Shep]
To keep the foxes out.

[Thomas]
Right, so, if it’s a castle that makes sense.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
I’m fine with it being medieval.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Then we could lean in more to that Chauncey/Chaucer thing.

[Thomas]
That’s true, yeah, there we go.

[Shep]
Yeah. So, Chauncey is the king?

[Emily]
No, it’s just a, like, brave-

[Thomas]
Yeah, he’s like a knight, right?

[Emily]
Well-respected knight, uh, maybe a duke or something.

[Thomas]
The king has got to be a chick, right?

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
Just the young little-

[Thomas]
Just a chi-, and there’s, like, there’s, there are advisors to the king. Or is the king an egg?

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
It’s just an egg with a crown on it.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Emily]
Nope, 100%. It’s on a big poofy pillow.

[Thomas]
Yeah, it’d be on a big pillow on the throne.

[Shep]
And the vizier is a snake. And… I don’t know when we would see any of that.

[Emily]
It’s just the lore.

[Thomas]
There’s just this one scene, yeah.

[Emily]
We need the lore.

[Shep]
Charlie’s complaining, like, “Why doesn’t the king do something about this?” He’s like, “Well, the king’s still learning.” And then you get the one shot of the egg on the throne with the crown.

[Thomas]
Yeah, there’s probably some, like, side plot stuff-

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Thomas]
To do with the kingdom. So, I think maybe they go outside of the- because, you know, this is how medieval life worked, you would regularly go outside of the walls, like, to do your farming and stuff, and then at night you might come inside.

[Emily]
Like chickens and their coops.

[Thomas]
Exactly, so it kind of maps pretty naturally there. So, does, does the fox come in the middle of the day, or is Charlie training at night?

[Emily]
He’s training at night, obviously-

[Shep]
Secretly training at night, yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
To be secret.

[Thomas]
Because he doesn’t want any of the other roosters to see what he’s doing-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Or steal his idea.

[Emily]
I think it’s more about the mocking.

[Thomas]
Probably, especially at the beginning.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Yes, where he can’t fly. But Chauncey knows. Chauncey knows what’s going on.

[Thomas]
Yeah. So, what is that mid-second act turning point? Is it Charlie genuinely flies for the first time, or he maybe at the beginning he can only fly for like three seconds and so he makes it up to, like, eight seconds or something?

[Emily]
Well, all chickens can fly for a brief period of time-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
So, it would have to be that extended flight time.

[Thomas]
Right, like he’s starting to see progress or, I don’t know if that’s enough for a turning point though. It’s got to be some major milestone. Maybe he can fly but only when he starts up high, he can’t fly from the ground.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
There you go.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Emily]
That works.

[Thomas]
And so, he’s able to take off.

[Shep]
See, I think that would be much later.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
That’s where he’s starting to really come into his own.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
I think that his first flight, he climbs up on a ledge to fly down from, and he’s like, “Okay, just for my first flight, I’ll fly down past the well.” There’s a well, you know, some distance away.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And he jumps and just straight down.

[Thomas]
Like a bowling ball.

[Shep]
Yeah, like, like wet bags of cement. No.

[Thomas]
Like a butter ball. No, that’s turkeys again.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Hold on.

[Shep]
So is “wet bags of cement” from WKRP in Cincinnati, where they threw turkeys out of a plane, and like, “I swear to God, I thought turkeys could fly.”

[Emily]
That’s right.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So, he keeps setting the goal- Maybe this is when he’s working with Bianca. He keeps setting the goal closer and closer and closer. And, you know, whenever he has, gets a little, couple inches further, she’s, like, marking it on chalk. So you can see his progress. And also you can see Chauncey peeking out the window. Pecking out the window? No. Peeking out the window. And, like, also, like, nodding along with his progress as he’s watching his grandson get better and better.

[Thomas]
Maybe he even has a little chart that he’s recording in.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Like a notebook.

[Shep]
Yeah. He’s got notes of, like, what Charlie should do next to train based on what he did to train.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
And he’s just waiting for Charlie to ask him for help.

[Emily]
Aww.

[Shep]
And so, he’s, like, got the notepad with him. It comes up later after he dies and he’s going through his grandfather’s things.

[Thomas]
Mm hmm.

[Emily]
Well, yeah, he finds it.

[Shep]
He finds this thing. That’s why he’s really good at the end. Anyway.

[Thomas]
That’s good third act material. That’s fantastic.

[Shep]
Yes. The turning point is when he gets past the well, which was his original, like, “I’ll just start-“

[Thomas]
Well does he get past the well, or does he get to the well and falls down into the well? But he’s, he comes up soaking wet, but he’s like, “I did it!”

[Shep]
Yes, he falls down to, into the well. And Bianca’s there, and she’s turning the-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Crank to pull the bucket up.

[Thomas]
To pull the bucket up.

[Shep]
Because she’s got those- Oh, there’s another guy there trying to turn it, and he- She, like, pushes him out of the way and spins the wheel.

[Thomas]
And she’s cranking it like super fast.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
And so, he comes up, and he’s like “I did it! I made to the well!” He ignores having been, he’s kind of soaking wet.

[Emily]
Soaking wet, yeah yeah.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Thomas]
That’s great. I love that.

[Shep]
So, this is their- Bianca and him are like, you know, he’s jumping up and down. He’s so happy. And so, they get really close. And there’s that moment of tension. She’s like, “Are we gonna kiss?” Like, no. He’s just excited. He’s happy.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I like that. So, then from there to the end of the second act where the grandfather dies and he and Bianca have their falling out. What happens? Like, he continues training, obviously. He’s getting better.

[Shep]
Oh, he gets in a fight. He gets in a fight because-

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Shep]
Remember, he got bullied at the beginning.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
We got bring that back.

[Thomas]
He still has daily rooster duties.

[Shep]
Yes, he has his daytime job. He’s training at night.

[Thomas]
Oh, so he’s, like, tired.

[Shep]
Yes, he can’t do his job properly. He gets picked on. He gets in a fist fight-

[Thomas]
A fist fight or a wing fight?

[Shep]
A wing fight-

[Emily]
Wing fight.

[Shep]
They- Because, I’m trying to think of them as, like, people that are also chickens.

[Thomas]
Right. Right, right.

[Shep]
Chicken Boos.

[Emily]
Yep.

[Shep]
Maybe the cops get involved. He gets arrested. They all get arrested. He can’t get bail because he’s a flight risk. So, Bianca comes in and gets him out, vouches for him. Or she comes up and they’re like, “We can’t let him go.” And she’s like, “I understand.” And then just bends the bars open.

[Thomas]
Yeah. How do you keep chickens from going somewhere? I guess you just lock them in a coop? So, she’s-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
She can just, like, lift the lid on the chicken coop and pluck him out of there. And the cops are like, “I mean, what are we do? We can’t stop her.”

[Shep]
The cops are like, “You can’t, you can’t.” And she’s like, “I can’t?” (Sound of metal bending)

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
“Seems like I can.”

[Shep]
So, that’s the second act.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And then the grandfather dies.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
They have their fight. They get back together somehow. Oh, he finds, he goes through his grandfather’s things. He finds the journal. He finds the rest of the training plan. The rest of the training plan also involves Bianca.

[Emily]
Hmm.

[Thomas]
Mm. Yeah.

[Shep]
Like, having her throw him so he gets more flight time practice. So, he could do that. It’s faster for Bianca to throw him than it is for him to climb up the ladder. Also, it’s, she, you know, she gets the exercise of, she’s flexing, she’s using her arms-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Her wings.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
She’s taking time out of her training to help this guy.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So, because it’s in his grandfather’s plan, he goes back to Bianca. They make up, they continue training. Then it’s the king’s birthday or whatever.

[Thomas]
It’s the hatching day.

[Shep]
So, that’s where he’s gonna he’s fly. He’s gonna demonstrate. He’s already put up flyers that, like, “I’m gonna break the record of (whatever).” And so, they have it all marked out how far it was. And so, he goes to do it. And as he’s doing it, you got that montage flashback where he realizes his grandfather had been trying to help him the entire time. And so, he lands just short of the line. Like just barely doesn’t break it on purpose.

[Thomas]
Mm hmm.

[Emily]
Does he fall short or does he tie?

[Shep]
He fa- mmm. I’d, see, if- a tie would be real close, like-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I think he’s afraid to break his grandfather’s record for now.

[Emily]
Yeah, he doesn’t break it.

[Shep]
I think it just an inch short would be enough. But then he could say “Next time, next time.” And then him and Bianca would be like, “Oh, I guess we have to spend more time together.”

[Thomas]
You really want to ship these two, huh?

[Emily]
I like it.

[Shep]
I mean, look, I like eggs. They got- They don’t come from nowhere.

[Thomas]
You don’t need a rooster for hens to lay.

[Emily]
This is true, they do just lay.

[Shep]
You need a rooster to get more chickens to get more eggs.

[Thomas]
That’s true. All right. All right.

[Shep]
Look, this is how math works.

[Thomas]
I guess the math checks out. I like that. So, do- when he falls short, do the other roosters give him a hard time about it? And he’s, he’s like, “Yep, that’s fine. Doesn’t matter.” Like-

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
“I’ve accomplished what I set out to do.” Or is he just like, “I’d like to see any of you get remotely close to that?”

[Shep]
I think that they can all tell that they wouldn’t get that close. And so, they do respect him more than they did before, but they are teasing him that he didn’t break the record. And he’s like, “Yeah, shucks, that you’re right. I’ll try harder. We’ll try it again next year (or whatever).” So, it’s more friendly teasing.

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah, okay. A good-natured ribbing-

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Versus like actual-

[Shep]
Yes, it turns out he’s actually strong now.

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
So.

[Emily]
Do some of the hens show some interest in him?

[Thomas]
Oh, yeah, sure, right?

[Emily]
But he’s only got eyes for Bianca at this point.

[Shep]
Yes. Yep. Oh, the hen that he helps out or that tries to get in line.

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
She’s there. She’s like fluffing out her feathers and trying to get his attention.

[Thomas]
Over the course of the second act, are we seeing he’s getting more hens assigned to him? And things are going like a little bit better in that respect.

[Emily]
He’s having, he gets more confidence, so they are going better.

[Thomas]
Yeah, it’s like going a little bit better. It’s not perfect.

[Emily]
No, no, but he’s, he’s not stammering when he’s asking them to do it.

[Thomas]
Ah, yeah, yeah.

[Emily]
He, they can hear him ask the questions.

[Shep]
Right.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It wasn’t necessarily that they weren’t gonna listen to him before-

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But he was so meek-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
And so shy, that they weren’t even hearing his instructions.

[Thomas]
Yeah. And it was the combination of that and like, “Who the fuck is this guy?”

[Emily]
Yeah, right, yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
So, it’s like a little of both, but the end, over the course of the film, he’s getting more hens in line. And by the end, they’re all just like, he doesn’t have to say anything. They all just line up for him.

[Shep]
Yeah. Because he’s spending time with Bianca and she’s not just training him on how to exercise his wings, but, like, incidentally training him-

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
How to talk with confidence.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Because she, she can’t waste her time. And if he can’t communicate, she’s not gonna help him.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So, he has to communicate better just so she can hear it.

[Thomas]
So, he earns that respect and confidence and all the things he wanted.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And actually, he gets the fame, right?

[Shep]
Yeah, he didn’t break the record, but everyone saw him make the flight.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah, no one else can get close to that.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that makes sense.

[Shep]
In fact, you could leave the thing up that he jumped from, and the other younger roosters can be climbing up there and trying to make the flight and just falling straight down like he did at the beginning.

[Thomas]
Right, right.

[Shep]
Just have that going on in the background.

[Thomas]
Is there, like, one real jerky rooster that’s like, “Pfff, I can do that?” And-

[Shep]
Oh, yeah. Have him as a recurring character throughout.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
“Anything you can do, I can do better.”

[Thomas]
He’s like the Biff of the-

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
He’s still acting, right? Let’s get him to do the voice.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
That would be fantastic.

[Thomas]
So, I guess that we kind of have what we’ve talked about. I guess that’s the denouement, right? Is, like, everyone is showing him respect now. He has that confidence.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
His rooster duties are going pretty easy. He’s got that fame. Maybe there’s even, like, he probably gets a plaque as well.

[Shep]
It just says, “You tried.”

[Emily]
Maybe Bianca makes him a plaque.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah, yes. And then they go back into the back room and cluck.

[Emily]
Yeah. Have a cluckin’ good time.

[Shep]
Yeah. Oh, they clucking.

[Thomas]
All right. Well, you know, I had my doubts at the beginning of this that we would have a story, enough of a story at any rate. And I feel like we’ve done it. I like this. I- This is a fun movie. I would show this to a child.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
Well, let’s tone down the clucking then.

[Emily]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Well, we’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s episode about Chicken Wings. Are you flying high or did we chicken out? Let us know by leaving a comment on our website, reaching out on social media, or sending us an email. Links to all of those can be found at AlmostPlausible.com. We’d also like to hear from you if you have an idea for an ordinary object that you’d like us to turn into a movie plot. Emily, Shep, and I will be back in a couple of weeks for the next episode of Almost Plausible.

[Outro music]

[Thomas]
The clucking is the after the credits. Kids don’t pay attention after the credits starts.

[Shep]
They’re already rewinding the VHS to watch it again.

[Thomas]
Right, right.

[Emily]
That’s right.