Bonus: Two Year Bracket

Elite Eight Episodes

1. Axe
2. Washing Machine
3. Eggnog
4. Brick
5. Flag
6. String
7. Flowers
8. Paper Bag

Fill Out Your Own Bracket

If you want to fill out your own bracket of Almost Plausible episodes, you can copy this Google Sheet to your account. We have also included all of the episode descriptions on the second sheet for your convenience.

If you fill out a bracket, send it to us so we can see what you picked!

Transcript

(Unedited)

[Thomas]
Hey there, story fans. Today is the first day of our third year of doing Almost Plausible, and what we want to do is take a look back at the 68 episodes that we have released over the past two years and figure out which one is the best one.

[Shep]
Let them fight,

[Thomas]
Yes. We’re gonna pit them head to head in a bracket challenge. The way this will work is I have a bracket here that I’ve created. We have eight of the episodes. We’ll go up against each other in a sort of round. Zero-

[Emily]
Right.

[Thomas]
To get a 64 seed.

[Emily]
It’s a wild card round.

[Thomas]
Right. A wild card round. Exactly. To get a 64 seed. Quote, unquote first round. I have all of the episode names, numbers, and descriptions, so I figure what I’ll do is the first time through, I will read the description for each episode, but once we’ve gotten through the first round, then I can just say the name of the episode. So the first round will be quite slow, and then after that, it should go pretty fast. All right, our first matchup. Penny versus mittens.

[Shep]
Penny.

[Thomas]
So Penny, an orphan, finds an enchanted Penny that transports her 100 years into the past. A father and son take her in, and despite initially being a fish out of water, she eventually realizes that she has found her home. And Mittens, a young mother missing the carefree life she had in college, gets a second chance at an easygoing lifestyle when a pair of novelty cat paw, mittens, magically turn her into a cat. Although it’s fun at first, the responsibilities begin to pile up, and she quickly learns that changing back into her human self isn’t as easy of a prospect as it seems.

[Shep]
I mean, I hate to knock out mittens so early, because Mittens was a great episode, but Penny, I thought, was one of our standout fantastic ones.

[Thomas]
I do like both of these episodes. I think the thing that Penny has going for it, for me, is it feels a little bit more like a real story. I don’t know. The characters are maybe a little more real.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Right?

[Shep]
Yeah, Penny could be turned into a miniseries, whereas Mittens is a 90 minutes kids movie.

[Thomas]
Yes,

[Emily]
Penny,

[Thomas]
Penny. All right, Penny moves on.

[Shep]
It. Sorry. Pittens.

[Thomas]
All right, our next matchup. Pillows. When a birthday wish turns a woman’s boyfriend pillow into a real man, he initially seems like the perfect guy for her. But as time goes on and they drift apart, tensions rise and a breakup is imminent. How will a man who used to be a pillow survive in the world on his own?

[Emily]
Unless this is going up against, like, axe or something, it’s pillows.

[Thomas]
It’s going up against marshmallow. In a world of marshmallow islands and hot cocoa oceans, a community scrambles to save their homes. After years of corruption and ecological mismanagement, one family must find a way to rally the working class together to literally take back their land from the billionaires.

[Emily]
Pillows.

[Thomas]
Pillows, right?

[Shep]
I mean, pillow, obviously.

[Thomas]
Like, there’s no. Yeah. Up next, we have turkey baster. We’re going medieval on this episode about a mute palace servant whose sole job is to baste the king’s turkey legs. When the queer king can’t or won’t produce an heir, the turkey baster is called in to assist, but probably not in the way you’re thinking. It’s a farce of mistaken identities, complete with sex, murder, and a happy ending. Several, actually. That one is going up against belt. An aging wrestler is contractually required to perform in one final match, where he must intentionally lose and give up his championship belt. The match is set to take place on the other side of the country, but the wrestler is afraid to fly. He plans a cross country road trip with the man he loves, but at the last minute, an old wrestling buddy shows up to give him a ride. So two queer friendly episodes up against each other.

[Shep]
You’re eliminating one of them right away.

[Thomas]
This is a random seed, so this one’s hard.

[Shep]
Okay,

[Thomas]
These are both good episodes.

[Shep]
Yeah,

[Emily]
Well, I’m going to have to go with belt, because it’s the Michael Cera John Cena movie I’ve always wanted.

[Shep]
I do like the Michael Sarah John Cena aspect of belt, but I would have to go turkey baster because I like Mr.

[Thomas]
Ooh,

[Shep]
Bean, and it’s very.

[Thomas]
I gotta break this tie.

[Emily]
You’re the tiebreaker, Thomas.

[Thomas]
And this is so tough because they’re so good. Gosh, I think I like the goofiness of turkey baster slightly more. So I’m gonna say turkey baster moves on.

[Emily]
All right. There was no wrong answer.

[Thomas]
No, there was not. That’s true. Up next, Snowflake. A conservative survivalist with the less than masculine name of Snowflake Johnson visits his hippie parents at their remote commune to introduce them to his fiance. While there, Snow learns the commune’s residents earn their living farming drugs for a cartel. He stirs up trouble, which has predictably dire consequences. Snowflake is up against flashlight. Our story is set in a tiny world whose existence is protected from unknown dangers in the dark by a beam of light from a flashlight. But this world is in peril. The light beam is shrinking as the battery in the flashlight is dying, and none of them can replace it. Some citizens believe they should develop their own light source, but an authoritative religious sect has banned this research as heresy. Eventually, a splinter group decides to leave the town and venture through the darkness in search of a fabled land with more light than anyone has ever seen.

[Shep]
This is a tough one. I think that they’re all gonna be difficult.

[Thomas]
Especially as it goes on. It’s going to be so much more complicated.

[Emily]
Yeah. The closer we get to the champion, it’s going to be impossible.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Snowflake. I see. As that could be a movie that you would see. There’s nothing so bizarre in that that would disqualify it. Whereas flashlight is more fantastical.

[Emily]
It’s a very art house film.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
I feel like Snowflake’s more palatable, so I’m going to go with Snowflake.

[Thomas]
Has more popular appeal.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
You think?

[Emily]
I think it’s more for the masses.

[Thomas]
I mean, we don’t have to worry about the masses.

[Emily]
I know.

[Thomas]
This is for us.

[Emily]
Well, in that case, then I want to go for the art house film and pick flashlight.

[Thomas]
Shep, what are your thoughts?

[Shep]
I’m going to go flashlight. I think it’s the better of the two stories.

[Thomas]
Okay,

[Shep]
I like both quite a lot.

[Thomas]
So flashlight moves on. Okay, guys, I am so sorry. This is just how it shook out.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Emily]
No,

[Thomas]
It’s penny, which we’ve heard about, and it’s up against axe. In the early 20th century, a group of lumberjacks head into a remote part of the woods. The plan is to spend two weeks felling trees and finishing a log flume. But a series of attacks from a forest monster forces them to change their plans. Their camp’s remote location makes escaping from the woods nearly impossible. But fighting the monster has deadly consequences. The men must use their brains and their brawn if they’re going to make it out alive.

[Emily]
I think we all know which one.

[Shep]
Axe.

[Thomas]
Right?

[Emily]
Okay.

[Thomas]
It’s Axe right.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Penny is really good. It’s one of our strong.

[Emily]
It’s so good. But axe.

[Thomas]
Up. Next, we have pillows, which we already mentioned. It is up against car. In a future where all cars are driven by artificial intelligence, collisions are a thing of the past. So when an aidriven car appears to intentionally crash into another vehicle, an insurance investigator is given the task of figuring out how this could have happened. He’s paired with an Android running a copy of the car’s AI software. And together, the sleuths follow a trail of improbable clues as they attempt to learn the truth about what went wrong and why. Yes.

[Shep]
This cars one was my pitch, and it scratches all the itches that I have. It’s, you know, noir, future cyberpunk mystery.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Yeah,

[Shep]
I would choose car, although both are good.

[Emily]
They are both really good. I feel like pillow scratches and itch. All the itches.

[Shep]
Yeah,

[Emily]
For me, it’s magical realism.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
It’s forced proximity relationship.

[Shep]
Rom.com. Yes.

[Emily]
It’s rom.com.

[Shep]
I have all of those itches as well.

[Thomas]
Boy. So it’s up to, huh?

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Yeah, I’m really torn, but I’m leaning closer to pillows.

[Shep]
I’m also torn, but leaning towards car.

[Thomas]
I am definitely torn. I think I’m also leaning toward pillows.

[Shep]
That’s fine.

[Thomas]
So let’s send pillows through. All right. Turkey baster is going up against handkerchief. A magician’s assistant steals his mentor’s face in order to rob a wealthy sheik who has rented out Alcatraz to throw an extravagant party. When the magician is blamed for theft, he and his compatriots must escape from the notorious prison and race against time to stop the assistant and recover the magician’s face.

[Shep]
Well, I like handkerchief also quite a lot. It’s very magical. They’re such different genres, it’s hard to compare them.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Well, how about this? If somebody was like, what’s kind of a weird episode you want me to listen to? Would you suggest, and the choice came down between turkey Bass or handkerchief, which one would you suggest people listen to?

[Shep]
Well, if they’re looking for a weird one, handkerchief.

[Emily]
I mean, turkey baster is weird, too. Like, his job is to baste turkey legs.

[Shep]
But it’s the court gesture.

[Emily]
Yeah. It is the court gesture, and I think that’s why I love it.

[Thomas]
It’s weird because people think they don’t like farce in the United States, but we do.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Fraser was super popular for a long time,

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
And we don’t get enough of that. I’d love to see more farce.

[Shep]
So you’re saying turkey baster.

[Thomas]
Between the two? That’s the way I lean. But again, I like both of these episodes.

[Shep]
And Emily’s saying turkey baster, but that’s it. We have two out of three.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Shep]
It doesn’t matter what I think.

[Thomas]
All right. The last of our round, zero episodes flashlight is going up against Birdhouse. When a prince crosses a witch, she curses him to spend eternity as a bird. 300 years later, the witch’s descendant accidentally releases him from his spell. Can they set aside their differences and work together to restore him to the throne, oust the corrupt regent, and return their country to its former glory?

[Shep]
Birdhouse has magical realism. It’s got rom.com, it’s got comedy. I think that between the two, Birdhouse has the broader appeal. I still like the art house flashlight.

[Emily]
I think about birdhouse the way men think about the roman empire. So I’m gonna have to go with birdhouse.

[Shep]
Again, it’s up to Thomas.

[Thomas]
I’m going to judge this one based on that. Which one would I pick between these two to go back and listen to again? And I think, for me, that’s Birdhouse.

[Shep]
I think that you’re both wrong.

[Thomas]
Noted.

[Shep]
I like Birdhouse as well. I think it’s a very strong episode.

[Thomas]
Oh, this is going to be interesting. Okay.

[Shep]
Uhoh.

[Emily]
Is this actually gonna be a hard one?

[Thomas]
Our third episode ever, chicken noodle soup.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Thomas]
A woman with Alzheimer’s recounts her life and the role chicken noodle soup played in it, while her daughter prepares the family recipe for her in this tearful tale of love, family, and soup.

[Emily]
Gonna go up against dice. Watch.

[Thomas]
It is going up against flag.

[Shep]
Ah,

[Thomas]
On the first manned mission to Mars, when the astronauts reach the mission area, they discover a flag has already been planted and all of their supplies have been used up. With all their food and water gone, they head back to the ship to return to earth. But it’s also gone. They soon realize they’re jumping around in time, and a faulty time machine from the future is to blame. The crew must stick together to avoid getting separated in time while they try to figure out how to get home.

[Shep]
You’re right. This is a difficult choice.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Both of these are very strong episodes.

[Emily]
Like, chicken noodle soup. Feels like my baby.

[Thomas]
And, you know, both of these are episodes that have a really strong, negative emotional moment. There’s, like, that moment where you realize the mom has Alzheimer’s. There’s that moment where there’s the one crew member who just disappears forever and there’s nothing they can do to save him.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Emily]
Oh,

[Shep]
It.

[Thomas]
And they’re both a little mysterious at the beginning where you’re sort of like, what’s going on? What’s happening here? They both jump around in time. I think the computer that seeded these randomly must listen to our podcast.

[Emily]
It’s so hard because it’s so early.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Emily]
I know which one I would choose.

[Shep]
I would be happy with either of these, but if I have to pick one, I will pick flag. But it is a hair’s breath between the two.

[Thomas]
They’re both fantastic episodes. Gosh,

[Emily]
Yeah. Chicken noodle soup. Like I said, it feels like my baby. I don’t want to let it go, but flag was so good. I think we have a unanimous one here. It’s flag.

[Thomas]
I think it is. Yeah.

[Shep]
But just barely.

[Emily]
Barely.

[Thomas]
This one, I think, will be quick and easy. But maybe I’m wrong. Cheeseburger is our next one.

[Shep]
Ooh.

[Thomas]
Improviser Adel Rafai joins the Almost Plausible crew in this hilarious story about a pair of food truck owners who face off during a cooking battle with a hefty cash prize. Despite their initial headbutting, the chefs soon discover they have more in common than just their cuisine, leading to a romantic entanglement. This episode is going up against jelly beans. A group of kids learn to work together to escape from a giant. After magical jelly beans lead to a sugary world in the clouds in this sweet take on Jack and the beanstalk.

[Shep]
You thought this would be an easy choice.

[Thomas]
I think for me, there’s one that is like, I would like to see this one move on. They’re both good episodes, but there’s one that I think is, for me, the clear winner.

[Emily]
I really enjoyed having Adelon, but, yeah. Jelly beans.

[Thomas]
For me, it’s cheeseburger. They’re both a ton of fun, but between the two, I had more fun doing cheeseburger. I love our guest episodes. Yeah, I don’t know. Just between the two, I feel like that one was the more fun episode. So it’s going to be up to you, chef. You’re the tiebreaker this time.

[Shep]
I like Cheeseburger quite a lot. I like rom coms. I like a lot about it. But the best Cheeseburger movie, as I said, has already been made.

[Thomas]
True.

[Shep]
It’s called the menu and everyone should watch it.

[Emily]
Oh, yeah.

[Shep]
So I am going to go jelly beans.

[Thomas]
All right. And with that, jelly beans moves on. Up next, we have whiteboard.

[Shep]
No.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Sorry. I reflexively felt pain as all the memories came flooding back.

[Thomas]
After a false start, we manage to backtrack and find a new, much more successful story. The final outcome is a horror film about a serial killer who uses magical portals drawn on a whiteboard to attack his victims. The police are stumped by a total lack of clues until one of the attacks goes wrong and a trail starts to come together. It all culminates in a fast paced chase to catch the killer before he escapes forever. This one is up against Shamrock, the solo female traveler from America. Visiting Ireland and falling in love with a handsome irishman is a pretty standard rom.com trope at this point, so we decided to shake things up a bit. In our story, an irishman living abroad in the United States comes home and falls in love with an american woman living in Ireland. It’s a story about family tacos and the Shamrock Inn.

[Emily]
The winner is shamrock.

[Thomas]
I agree. I think between the two, I like the Shamrock Inn story better.

[Emily]
I think shamrock is just. It’s more put together, more well thought out.

[Shep]
I like both of these. And since both of you are going for Shamrock, I will go for whiteboard.

[Emily]
Just give the whiteboard some love.

[Shep]
That’s right.

[Thomas]
Always trying to be difficult. Our next matchup is postit notes. It’s a darkly hilarious week when our postit note movie takes a turn even we didn’t see coming. Our main character wants to add a little levity to the world with a secret message. Scavenger hunt. But a series of accidental deaths cause authorities to suspect him of being a serial killer. Just when it seems like things couldn’t be any crazier, a real serial killer confronts our protagonist for squeezing in on his turf. Postit notes get him into the mess. But will they be his salvation? This is up against video cassette. A long forgotten video cassette for a sesame street style tv show turns out to be a portal into the puppet world. But when a pair of children go through the portal and meet a strange new friend, their parents have to race to save them from a very grown up danger. This episode also featured our guest, Bob lament.

[Emily]
Oh, it’s so hard because Bob was fun to have on the show.

[Shep]
Yeah, all of our guests have been great.

[Emily]
All of our guests are great. I’m going to go with video cassette, because I did enjoy talking to Bob, and, you know, puppet violence is a thing I enjoy.

[Thomas]
Oh, great.

[Shep]
Then I will go with post it notes because they’re both great episodes and I like to make.

[Emily]
You’re just being contrary to me.

[Shep]
Well, I want to see Thomas suffer.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I mean, it’s tough because these are both great, and we have some wonderful similarities, I think, between the two. I like the goofiness of postit notes a little bit more. So we’ll have that one move on. Oh, no.

[Shep]
Uh oh, no.

[Thomas]
This is going to be so tough, you guys. Oh, no.

[Shep]
Well, I don’t like where this is going.

[Thomas]
Okay. Barbecue grill.

[Shep]
Uhoh.

[Emily]
No,

[Thomas]
A pair of vegetarians attend a memorial Day barbecue in their neighborhood that goes seriously awry. The couple watches as their neighbors slowly start turning into meat loving pod people. It’s a ridiculous horror comedy that will have you craving burgers and kombucha. You guys, this is up against eggnog.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Thomas]
Who doesn’t love eggnog? Well, you might not, but we love it. And for the main character of this episode, eggnog is the only good thing about the winter holidays. But that love of eggnog, along with his humbug attitude toward Christmas, make him a perfect, if unlikely, candidate to become a Santa Claus. Not the Santa Claus. Just a Santa Claus. Join an all star cast as they engage in some classic reindeer games and help Ben Affleck find his Christmas spirit. Man, I drank so much eggnog this year. I don’t know. This one is so difficult. These are both phenomenal episodes.

[Shep]
Yeah,

[Emily]
I am going to have to go with eggnog, because I remember there being a couple really funny parts. Yeah, eggnog for me.

[Shep]
There were a bunch. Eggnog is great. So I will go barbecue grill.

[Thomas]
I think between the two, I got to pick eggnog. They’re both phenomenal episodes, but.

[Shep]
That’s completely fair. They are both excellent episodes, and I would be happy with either of them. Moving on.

[Thomas]
Our next pairing is bratwurst. A group of friends from college, now middle aged, gather for an Oktoberfest celebration. Their host intends to tell his comrades about his illness and impending death, but he isn’t able to find the right time to share this grave news. Over the course of the same weekend, he begins to reconnect with his estranged father and learns more about his mother’s affliction with the same illness that one is up against. Egg. A woman in her twenty s is surprised when she suddenly lays a large egg. As if that wasn’t strange enough, the egg hatches to reveal a tiny human with wings. The woman raises her daughter under a watchful eye, careful to make sure the secret of her child’s wings is never revealed. But what happens when her rebellious teenage daughter yearns to fly?

[Emily]
Okay. Another fun art house movie. But for me, I like them both, but,

[Shep]
Yeah, the big chill for me, too.

[Emily]
Yeah,

[Shep]
I mean, bratwurst.

[Thomas]
Yeah, I agree. That’s a unanimous bratwurst. All right, our next matchup is bag of chips. Author and screenwriter Jeffrey D. Calhoun joins the crew to write a story about a bag of chips, specifically a bag of potato chips. Although it seems no one told shep that because his pitch is about a hacker who steals a bag of computer chips. Never wanting to back down from a challenge, the group finds a way to make it work, and together they create a story about a heist to steal potato based computer chips. From chip to clip. It’s paperclip. A once popular restaurant is thrown into chaos when the staff incorrectly assumes they are being judged for a Michelin star. Things quickly go off the rails, and they have to burn down their relationships with each other in order to rebuild them and come out stronger. And all of this because of a single stupid paperclip.

[Shep]
I could go either way on this one as well. I liked bag of chips. Obviously, the premise was so silly and we took it so far, but I like paperclip as well. Yeah.

[Emily]
Having watched the bear recently, gonna have to go with paperclip-

[Thomas]
It’s one of the earliest episodes where I could just picture it so clearly in my mind, and so it’s always really stuck with me. So I think between these two, paperclip has my vote as well. So, paperclip, moving on. So at the end of our first year of doing the show, we did a year one review episode, which we called year one review. And we looked back at our first year. We listened to some clips, we talked about, some sober, behind the scenes things that wasn’t actually a full episode release. It was a two parter, but it was one of our regularly numbered episodes, so it gets counted here as well. This one is matched up against Turkey. Jake is a smarter than average domesticated turkey living on a poultry farm. He has it all. Food, security, and a girlfriend. But when he escapes from his pen, gets lost in the woods, and meets a flock of wild turkeys, he is introduced to a way of life and a world he never knew existed. The wild turkeys helped Jake get home to the farm, but now that he’s had a taste of freedom, will he stay-

[Shep]
Turkey.

[Thomas]
Turkey?

[Emily]
Turkey.

[Thomas]
Right? Yeah.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Our next two are string. Things get deep and philosophical on this episode about string. Useful stuff, string. And in the story world we create, nearly everyone is connected to someone else via a string of fate that’s invisible to everyone but you and your soulmate. So what happens when a woman whose string was severed against her will meets a guy whose string is still intact? This one goes up against printer. A shady government group uses biological matter to 3d print disposable human bodies. A special agent will temporarily transfer their consciousness into the body to use it for secret missions. While out on a mission, the lab and his original body are destroyed, trapping the agent in a body that wasn’t designed to last. He must race to find a solution before his 3d printed body deteriorates and he dies.

[Shep]
So I liked both of these. I liked printer quite a lot. It’s Sci-Fi it’s thriller. It’s kind of like David Brin’s kiln people. K-I-L-N. If you’re familiar with that book.

[Thomas]
It’s got some three days of Condor vibes to it.

[Shep]
Yeah. What was the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie where he’s a clone?

[Thomas]
The 6th day.

[Shep]
There’s that as well. So there’s lots of classic Sci-Fi going on in printer, but.

[Emily]
The string is very.

[Thomas]
Yeah, there’s a lot of philosophical discussion going on there. It’s a lot more thinky of a movie.

[Emily]
Yeah,

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
It’s very cerebral.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Cerebral. That’s a good way of describing it.

[Emily]
But printer is really cool.

[Shep]
Like I said, I like printer a lot, but.

[Thomas]
That sounds like Shep is voting string. Emily, what do you think?

[Shep]
I am voting string.

[Emily]
I’m gonna have to go with string as well.

[Thomas]
String moves on. Up next, we have ceiling fan. The pattern on a child’s ceiling fan transports him to a fantasy world where an evil wizard is taking over the kingdom. The child teams up with a band of misfits to help stop the wizard and rebuild the ceiling fan so he can be transported home. This was our fourth episode that we released. It is up against fireworks. Independence Day in the US is right around the corner, so we’re celebrating with a 4 July classic, fireworks. On this episode, we create some teenage characters who live where fireworks are illegal. But that doesn’t stop them from trying to get their hands on. Some things go hilariously wrong, and it’s up to our quick witted high schoolers to figure out how to set it. All right. Or at least get their hands on the season’s most popular fireworks.

[Emily]
Fireworks.

[Shep]
Yeah, I liked both of these. Fireworks was our super bad and it got really ridiculous towards the end, which I liked.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Emily]
I like the teen day in the lifetime.

[Shep]
It went super over the top. I’m like, yes. Let’s turn it up to eleven.

[Thomas]
Yeah,

[Shep]
Fireworks takes my vote.

[Thomas]
I completely agree. So fireworks it is. It’s another unanimous one. Okay, here’s an interesting pairing. Shampoo. Charlie is comfortable with his life just the way it is. But a chance encounter with a vendor of homemade bath products at a farmer’s market turns Charlie’s old, familiar life on its head. It’s a return to magical reality in our episode about shampoo. And we follow Charlie as he struggles to get back the life he lost. With a few important changes, we’re going to see if this one can edge out Mac and cheese, hearkening back to the style of some of our older episodes.

[Emily]
You know, at first I was leaning towards Mac and cheese because again, it’s one of those, like, I really like these kind of sweet movies that make you feel all warm and fuzzy, but also sad.

[Thomas]
By the way, this is episode 28 and we’re harkening back to our older episodes.

[Shep]
Duh.

[Thomas]
We take a looser definition of Mac and cheese this week. The movie plot we create is a coming of age story about a couple of kids trying to work through things that even adults struggle with. The ending is bittersweet for our two main characters, and it’s possible we work through some things ourselves.

[Shep]
Again, both good episodes. For me, shampoo takes it. I like the magical realism more than I like the coming of age story in Mac and cheese, although I liked Mac and cheese quite a lot.

[Thomas]
Like you said, I like both of these. I remember what happened in Mac and cheese more than I remember what happened in shampoo. The details.

[Emily]
But I liked shampoo.

[Thomas]
So I feel like between those two, Mac and cheese is a little stickier in my head, but they’re both good. I’m happy with either of these moving on, so I don’t know.

[Emily]
I like shampoo a lot.

[Shep]
Oh, emily has to break the tie.

[Emily]
So I’m going to pick shampoo.

[Thomas]
All right. With that, shampoo moves on. All right, guys, here’s another tough matchup can opener.

[Shep]
Uh oh.

[Thomas]
If you like the National Lampoon films, then you’ll love our farcical take on a story about a kleptomaniacal can opener repairman who becomes a reluctant detective investigating an apparent murder involving, you guessed it, a can opener. The situation quickly and hilariously escalates, and soon the police, the mob, and even the mayor are pursuing him all over town. With no dead body, no apparent suspect, and no clear leads, the can opener repairman really has his work cut out for him in this raucous romp. This is up against wreath. A couple of days before Christmas, a greedy family accepts a too good to be true offer, despite the protestations of their angelic daughter. As a result, they are all sent to hell, where they are given 24 hours to reach a nearly inaccessible basin of holy water that will grant them entrance into heaven. The only problem with making it to heaven is that you’re still dead. Is there any way for them to make it back to earth in time for Christmas?

[Shep]
I liked both of these. But I will pick the cheap detective over Matilda.

[Emily]
I remember so many details about can opener and so much about that movie.

[Thomas]
That movie, as if it exists.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
I think that casts your vote right there that you.

[Emily]
Because my next sentence was going to be, I think I’ve even had dreams about can opener, so it’s really stuck with me. So it was going to be can opener-

[Thomas]
You’ll get no argument from me. I also agree can opener is so much fun. It’s so goofy. I love it. And, yeah, I remember so many details about it. Brick is our next one. This week on Almost Plausible, we welcome our first guest host, Daniel Hess. Daniel chose Brick for the subject of the episode. In our story, a victim of a murder turns out to have been killed with a brick. But there’s an interesting twist. Our story is set in the future in a cloud city on Venus where bricks have never existed. The Android investigator and a human sidekick must work together to follow the clues to solve the mystery. This was our 19th episode and our first guest episode. This is going up against our very first episode, calculator. The day before a pivotal competition, a group of mathletes loses their calculators. Now they must race against time to track them down or risk losing a chance at a college scholarship. Brick. Right. We all agree. Brick.

[Emily]
Just to be a thorn and chef side. No, it’s 100% brick-

[Thomas]
Our next episode is potato. An aging scientist finally completes his decades long quest to eliminate world hunger by growing the perfect potato. He savors the delicious tuber, but laments that life passed him by. He wakes up the next morning surprised to discover that he is once again a young man. His newfound youth comes with a price, however. He is slowly turning into a potato genius ad madness mix as he continues to try to feed the world. Now, this is going up against contact lenses.

[Shep]
Oh, God damn.

[Thomas]
Yeah. If you could buy a contact lens that permanently repaired your vision, allowed you to see more colors, and gave you excellent night vision, would you buy it? What if the contact lenses were made from living tissue that eventually fused with your eyeballs? Still interested? This week, we focus on contact lenses that can do just that. The only trouble is, they’re made with, let’s call it, a foreign material, which has unexpected consequences.

[Shep]
Well, this is a genuinely difficult one. I just listened to potato again, and it is a banger. But contact lens has some of the most visually. Like, I can see this scene, and it is intense.

[Thomas]
Dude. I can smell the scenes in contact lenses. Like.

[Shep]
Yeah, contact lens is a very strong episode. I hate to knock out potato so soon, but my vote is for contact lens.

[Thomas]
Emily, what do you think?

[Emily]
Potato. I really liked how off the wall it went, but it still worked like it was great body horror. And I-

[Shep]
Yes.

[Emily]
Adore it.

[Thomas]
They both are great body horror.

[Emily]
This is true.

[Shep]
And related to eyes.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Oh, my gosh.

[Emily]
Oh, my God.

[Thomas]
Yeah,

[Shep]
How the computer must listen to the podcast.

[Thomas]
It must. It must. That’s the only explanation.

[Emily]
I’m going to stick with my initial gut reaction of potato.

[Thomas]
All right, so it’s up to me. You’re right. Totally difficult. These are both fantastic episodes, but for me, it’s got to be contact lenses for exactly what Shep said. It’s just so visceral.

[Emily]
It’s fair. Yeah.

[Shep]
I mean, there are scenes in contact lens where I shrivel up because I can barely endure just hearing you guys describe the scene.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
I’m fragile, but it’s very intense, and that’s a strong point for it.

[Thomas]
All right, our next matchup. Newspaper. A man learns a magical ability that allows him to enter photographs in newspapers. He tries to use this ability to clear his brother’s name after a hit and run, only to discover that his brother really is guilty. Also, we are once again taught the lesson that writing is hard. Now, I have a note here that says, we didn’t really finish this story. We kind of, I think, ran out of time and steam and just sort of wrapped it up. This is our 10th episode. We were still sort of trying to get our format down.

[Shep]
Oh, that’s back when we were doing two episodes back to back.

[Thomas]
That’s right. So we had a time limit back then, whereas now we kind of just record until we’re done. This one is up against birthday candle. If birthday candles really did grant wishes, what would you wish for? In this episode, a magical birthday candle gives our main character near immortality, making it so that he only ages when the candle is burned. But as is often the case with magic, things don’t work out as expected.

[Shep]
So two magic episodes against each other.

[Thomas]
Yeah,

[Emily]
I remember there being a lot of problems with the newspaper. I think there were fewer of those with birthday candle.

[Thomas]
I think with newspaper. I think the pacing on that one is kind of slow because we just really couldn’t get a good grasp on the story. Like, we liked the idea, but working out those details was difficult, and then we just sort of ran out of time, and it was like, well, okay.

[Shep]
Yeah, I think you’re right. I think that newspaper had a good premise, and we didn’t have a good story to use the premise on, whereas birthday candle is stronger. So birthday candle.

[Thomas]
All right, birthday candle moves on. Our next pair of episodes are. Zipper.

[Shep]
It’s going to be zipper.

[Emily]
It’s not wrong.

[Thomas]
According to Urban Dictionary, the irrational fear of zippers is called juma phobia. It seems like a pretty rare phobia, but maybe after listening to this week’s episode, there’ll be at least a few more cases. We promise it’s not too scary, maybe more unnerving. Either way, it’s definitely entertaining. Zipper is going up against shipping pallet. A group of kids on summer break hit the jackpot when they discover a huge pile of shipping pallets, which they use to build forts in the woods. A water balloon war breaks out, and soon bases are being captured and absorbed until just two large forts remain. What follows for the children is a tense weekend full of escalating weapons, imaginations, and the greatest water balloon battle of their lives.

[Shep]
I mean, so I liked the bugsy malone of shipping palette, but nothing is going to beat the creepiest scene we’ve ever come up with in Zipper.

[Thomas]
Yeah,

[Emily]
I was going to say that nothing will ever top being spooned by someone and then hearing the zipper.

[Thomas]
100% agree with you guys. No contest. It’s zipper. We have Cat toy. What do Indiana Jones, Winston Churchill, Al Capone and a cat toy have in common? Previously, the answer was nothing. But listen to this week’s episode and you’ll see how we managed to tie them all together. Joining us is special guest Peter J. Wax, who brings more Hollywood experience than any of us can claim, as well as a few good puns. Cat toy is paired up with Tupperware. Let’s say it’s the 1980s and you’re new in town.

[Shep]
Ooh,

[Thomas]
To meet your neighbors and make some friends, you decide to host a Tupperware party, but some ditzy wannabes roll up to your crib, tell you that you’re invading their turf, and demand that you cut it out. What would you do? If you’re anything like the main character of our story this week, you take a chill pill, befriend a biker gang and say yes. Way to your future. Oh, and those airheads from earlier? It turns out they’re members of a satanic cult, and now they want to sacrifice you to appease the dark Lord. Gag me with a spoon. Right? I wonder if your new biker gang friends might be able to help you out with your little satanist problem.

[Shep]
I liked cat toy. I liked Indiana Jones. But Tupperware and the satanic panic and all of that silliness. Tupperware was so good.

[Emily]
Tupperware all the way. All the way. Tupperware-

[Thomas]
All right, that’s all we need for Tupperware to move on. Up next, we have dice. We roll the dice on a more serious romance story in this episode. It’s the late 1940s, and a pretty young pip painter at a dice factory catches the eye of the new guy. Unbeknownst to him, she has some serious post war baggage, and the shadow of her late war hero husband looms over their nascent relationship. Join us as we explore and poke fun at gender role stereotypes in post World War II America. This goes up against calendar. When Mark receives a wall calendar as a New Year’s gift, he doesn’t think much of it. After all, who uses a physical calendar anymore? But when he accidentally discovers the calendar is magical and it can send him backward and forward in time, he uses it to try to shortcut his way to achieving his lifelong goal of writing a novel. Things don’t go as planned, and he quickly uses up the calendar’s magic and has wasted another year of his life. When he receives another magical calendar the following new year, he has to decide how to use it wisely, which may include not using it at all.

[Shep]
I vote dice. Although calendar again, was very good.

[Emily]
Dice just by just a-

[Thomas]
Alright, dice it is. Okay. The computer definitely listens to the podcast, because here we have flowers. Ephraim is an aspiring writer living in a big city. When his great aunt passes away and he inherits her cottage in a tiny New England town, he sees an opportunity to get the peace and quiet he needs to finally write his novel. Unbeknownst to him, a spell gone wrong in the late 18th century has cursed the town with a zombie problem, and flowers are the only thing that can hold back the undead. And this is paired with breadmaker, so the computer clearly has a sense of humor. In Breadmaker, a benevolent local witch takes a runaway teen under her wing and begins to teach her magic. Being modern times instead of a cauldron, the teen casts her spells in an enchanted breadmaker. When the witch leaves town for a couple of days, the teen and a new friend of hers accidentally curse the children of the town in a story that we promise isn’t just a rehash of practical magic.

[Shep]
It’s also fantasia.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Between the two, I like. Well, I like both of them quite a lot, but I would say flowers wins it for me because I like the zombie romance.

[Thomas]
Oh, that’s right.

[Emily]
Bread maker.

[Thomas]
All right, well, I will tell you the way that I’m going to break this tie because they are both fantastic and I do love both of them. I kept trying to make breadmaker practical magic. Every time I suggested something, you guys pointed out. No, that’s just practical magic. So between those two, flowers is the more unique story. So I’m going to go with flowers.

[Emily]
All right, fair. Fair.

[Shep]
But it is a tough call.

[Thomas]
It is a very tough call. I love both of these episodes.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
So another maybe outside of the box episode for us was Space Jam sequel. We shake things up a bit this week by taking a slight departure from our regular format. We still come up with a movie, but on this week’s episode, we come up with a sequel to the 1996 film Space Jam. We know what you’re thinking. Isn’t there already a space jam sequel? There is, but it’s terrible. So we set out to come up with something better. We’re pretty sure we succeeded. The other option here is tooth. A woman on a gap year trip through Europe is surprised to discover that the tooth on her necklace is a magical dragon tooth. The dragon’s spirit begins to fulfill her desires to be a popular social media influencer. But her newfound fame brings with it real danger. Two opposing factions are battling over the tooth, and the winner will decide the fate of humanity.

[Shep]
Emily, do you want to go first? No, I liked both of these. I would say that tooth is going to take it for me. Just because our superior space jam sequel doesn’t exist, that is a strong mark against it because it was really good and much better than the space jam sequel we got.

[Thomas]
See, I think I would push space Jam sequel down the line because it is so strong. And I think more people should hear it because they would agree that our sequel should be the canonical sequel and not the one that actually exists, which is so, so bad.

[Shep]
So bad.

[Emily]
You both bring up good points. I think base jam, the sequel is absolutely superior to the actual sequel. But, like, you know, they already made it. Like, Warner Brothers is not going to be like, you’re right. Let’s redo it and make it your way.

[Thomas]
How amazing would that be, though?

[Emily]
Oh, my gosh.

[Thomas]
That’d be great. Honestly, I’d settle for, like, being at a party and having a Warner Brothers executive be like, look, I can’t see this officially, but-

[Emily]
But tooth is not my favorite episode. But I’m going to go with originality. So we’re going to go with tooth.

[Thomas]
All right, tooth moves on. Oh, no, you guys, this one’s tough.

[Shep]
Oh, no, they’re all tough, Thomas. We know they’re tough.

[Thomas]
This one, though, this one in particular is difficult.

[Shep]
It’s all, pick your favorite child. Difficult.

[Thomas]
Episode 16 is garden hose-

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Thomas]
In the style of a Stephen Chow kung fu comedy. Our story this week focuses on a lazy martial arts student who must avenge his master’s death. He travels to the Sifu’s village in the countryside and learns that his deceased teacher actually wasn’t that good of a martial artist. Luckily, everyone else in the village is, and he eventually learns to master the form. He returns to the city to confront the leader of the gang that killed his sifu, hoping to defeat him with a garden hose. This goes up against episode number eight, paper bag.

[Shep]
Oh, fuck.

[Thomas]
Our attractive main character argues with a friend of hers that beauty does not positively affect success in life. The friend disagrees, and the two women bet on it. Now, the attractive woman must wear a paper bag on her head in all social situations and be just as successful at the end of 30 days as she is going into it. That means keeping her job and boyfriend, both of which are threatened almost immediately. Despite learning her lesson early on, the woman is determined to win the bet and discovers a new way of navigating the world. These are two of our strongest episodes, I think.

[Shep]
Yeah. Shit, man.

[Thomas]
Yeah. This is probably the hardest matchup we’ve had, I think.

[Shep]
I loved Garden Hose. I like Stephen Chow movies a lot.

[Thomas]
Yeah,

[Shep]
A lot.

[Thomas]
Same.

[Shep]
And the whole time we were doing this, that’s what I was picturing in my head, and I was very entertained.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
But paper bag is so strong, I don’t think even garden hose can beat it.

[Thomas]
Wow.

[Shep]
Had moving parts in it. Like, I’m emotionally touched by this very silly, absurd premise. Yeah. For me, it’s paper bag.

[Thomas]
One of the simplicity of how he is with her and what it takes for that relationship to blossom is kind of refreshing and interesting to see.

[Emily]
This is so hard.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
It is.

[Emily]
Garden hose is one of my favorite sort of farcical, crazy out there action ones that we’ve done. But paper bag is just brilliant. It’s probably my overall favorite.

[Thomas]
So, Emily, your vote, then, is paper bag.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Thomas]
I think that’s three votes for paper bag. Three difficult.

[Shep]
Yeah. Three votes for paperbag.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Even though it’s up against Garden Hose, which is a fantastic episode. It.

[Thomas]
Up next. We have chalk this week. Our film is a period piece set in the 1970s. Or. Wait, that’s not right. It’s set in the 1890s. That is a very obscure reference to the episode. I had to look that up. I was like, what is this joke? James spends a decade in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. To pass the time in his cell, he draws on the wall with chalk. To his surprise, he’s able to enter his drawings and live out his dreams. Upon his release, James struggles to reintegrate with society and tries desperately to get back into his fantasy world. This goes up against candy corn. Things get spooky when we tell scary stories about candy corn around a campfire in the woods at night. Despite Emily and Thomas bringing beer and making s’mores, Shep hates the entire experience. The reason why is revealed when he tells his story. But surely there’s nothing lurking in the woods, right?

[Emily]
It’s candy corn.

[Shep]
No.

[Emily]
It’s candy Corn. It’s one. I listen to that every Halloween now.

[Thomas]
So I’m sorry, chef, but it’s got to be candy corn. And the reason why for me is chalk kind of goes in one direction and then does, like, a hard left turn partway through the story. And so it doesn’t feel to me like a unified story. It’s still a good story with an interesting character.

[Shep]
See, the way I remember Candygorn, it was almost like three separate stories, and it wasn’t unified at all.

[Thomas]
They all had candy corn. All right, well, I’m sorry. Your outvoted candy corn is the winner.

[Shep]
God.

[Thomas]
Our next pair, lunchbox. An aging child star tries to recapture his fame when props from the tv show that made him famous go up for auction.

[Emily]
Haunkin.

[Thomas]
We meet a colorful cast of characters all vying for a famous lunchbox and screen time in this mockumentary style story. And speaking of Halloween, it’s going up against pumpkin.

[Shep]
Oh, God damn it.

[Thomas]
Despite the dark and the cold, chef and Thomas join Emily in a pumpkin patch at night to surreptitiously tell each other spooky stories about pumpkins. There may not be a campfire, but there are snacks, blankets, and pumpkin spice lates.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
There are even hay bales to sit on. Or are they straw bales? Either way, at least the trio aren’t in the woods this time, which means they should be safe right.

[Emily]
There’s no way I’m not picking pumpkin. I’m that basic. It’s always going to be pumpkin.

[Shep]
Lunchbox was so funny.

[Thomas]
Lunchbox is hilarious. I love that episode.

[Emily]
It is really good.

[Thomas]
So it sounds like it’s up to me, and I’m picking lunchbox. All right, our next pairing is bowling pin. What do stolen diamonds, a shady pawn shop, and a bowling pin have in common? They’re all part of the story we come up with on this week’s show. When a couple of brothers learn their grand plan has been derailed. They quickly discover a trap has been laid for them, and somehow there’s a bowling pin at the center of it all. This is up against fire extinguisher. We take a brief departure from movie plots on this episode and instead come up with a kids book, or children’s novel, as shep keeps calling it. Join Raccoon, bear Dog, and an ever growing cast of characters as they try to help raccoon on his quest to get to the moon. It’s a heartwarming tale of loneliness, friendship, and a junkyard.

[Shep]
Well, I know I’m probably gonna be the only one of the three of us that says this, but I liked bowling pin more than fire extinguisher. I liked the children’s novel aspect of fire extinguisher. It was out of our usual form. I thought that was interesting, but I liked how competent everyone was in bowling pin.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Shep]
Nobody carries the stupid ball and made stupid decisions for plot reasons. Everyone made logical choices, and that’s how they ended up where they were at the end. They got what they deserved.

[Emily]
So I was also going to pick bowling pin. I like raccoon on the moon. Don’t get me wrong. That’s freaking adorable.

[Shep]
Yes.

[Thomas]
Fire extinguisher is a lot of fun, but very happy to see bowling pin moving on. All right, I feel like this might be a tricky one. We have pockets.

[Shep]
Ooh.

[Thomas]
Our second episode, how cool would it be to find a jacket where whenever you reached into the pocket, you found exactly what you needed in that moment? Need to pay for parking. Your pocket is full of quarters. Need to freshen your breath? Just reach into the pocket and pull out some breath mints. But what if the pocket was evil and it was using you to accomplish its nefarious goals? This is going up against sunscreen.

[Shep]
Ooh.

[Thomas]
A dermatologist embeds with a nudist colony to research a new kind of sunscreen that is natural and more effective than existing creams. She befriends a handsome naturist, but loses his trust when the company she works for burns her, just like he said they would.

[Emily]
I’m going to pick sunscreen. Sunscreen’s just, I think, really well put together and I love her joining them at the end and dancing and in the village and it’s just fun. Good, old fashioned family fun.

[Shep]
Good old fashioned family naked fun.

[Thomas]
Chef, what are your thoughts?

[Shep]
Yeah, sunscreen. I mean, I liked pockets again quite a lot. There was a lot going on in that episode that I really enjoyed. But I again liked how competent everyone was in sunscreen.

[Thomas]
Yeah,

[Shep]
And I liked how the main character was hypocritical and got called on it and has to reflect on his choices.

[Thomas]
Both good episodes, but I agree sunscreen takes the win. Our next matchup is watch. In a dystopian future, overpopulation is a constant threat. In an attempt to avert disaster, the government periodically culls the population through challenges delivered to citizens via special watches. After one such limiting event, a couple decides it would be safe to have a baby, only to learn of a sudden new limiting event. They join a group of rebels, which leads them on an adventure they could never have predicted. We were joined in this episode by our guest, Jason Johnson. This goes up against washing machine.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Thomas]
Imagine you and a stranger are suddenly teleported to a deserted island together where you’re stuck for an entire year. Do you think you could survive? Do you think you might fall in love? What if the two of you weren’t on the island alone? What if there was a magical washing machine on the island with you? This week’s episode focuses on a washing machine. And despite a bit of a rough start, we end up creating a fun romantic comedy about a couple of city dwellers who have to set aside their differences to stay alive on an abandoned tropical island. For me, washing machine is one of my favorite episodes we’ve ever done. It’s really funny. It’s another one of those ones. I can see it so clearly. Yeah. Just some of the problems we come up with and the solutions we come up with, especially for how they find each other later and how they use their experiences on the island. Love it. So for me, it’s washing machine.

[Emily]
It’s 100% washing machine for me. I went on a journey while we were writing that I learned some things about myself.

[Thomas]
That’s right.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah. For me, it’s washing machine.

[Thomas]
All right, we’re down to the last four episodes in our first round here. Toilet brush. A group of friends in their early 40s, desperate to hang on to their youth, somehow manage to get into a hip young rapper’s house party. They drink, they dance, they do drugs. Oh, and one of them steals the rapper’s jewel encrusted toilet brush. They lose track of their thieving friend, and the rest of the night is a mad dash all over town to try to find him and return the stolen toilet brush. This goes up against light bulb. A group of postapocalyptic survivors living in an underground bunker is forced to venture outside for the first time in 20 years. When their grow lights start burning out, the world outside the bunker is still a deadly place, and finding the supplies they need proves a more difficult task than they anticipated, as nearly every animal they encounter tries to kill them.

[Shep]
I think toilet brush wins it for me.

[Emily]
Yeah. Toilet brush. Because it’s one of those one night, very adventures in babysitting.

[Thomas]
Yes. It’s like neighbors, meet Superbad.

[Emily]
Yeah. It’s neighbors, meet super.

[Thomas]
All right, this is down to our last two episodes. Which ones have I not mentioned yet? No. No cheating, chef. I see you looking at the computer.

[Shep]
I can’t remember.

[Emily]
We have not talked about padlock.

[Thomas]
Correct padlock. Can a couple’s relationship survive when a dark secret is revealed? That’s what we explore in this week’s episode about a padlock. After a young woman’s love goes unrequited, she takes what seems to her like a reasonable step to lock down the man she loves. It works. But when he learns the truth about how their idyllic lives together got started, he begins to question their entire relationship. This goes up against one of our more recent episodes. Sewing machine. Bob is a neurotic tailor with a good heart, and Alice is his uptight, domineering fashion designer boss. Alice wants the company to start using an experimental new sewing machine that can fuse fabrics together, leaving no visible seams. Bob is more of a traditionalist and doesn’t like this idea. The two go head to head over the issue and end up fused to each other side by side. Figuring out how to live and work together is just the beginning of their problems.

[Shep]
So magical rom.com versus magical rom.com.

[Thomas]
Pretty much.

[Emily]
Yes.

[Shep]
Thank you, computer. I have a clear winner in my head, and that is sewing machine.

[Emily]
So I felt like the villain aspect of sewing machine was a little over the top and perhaps too much.

[Thomas]
Hmm.

[Emily]
And I think Padlock just was the better of the two magical rom coms.

[Thomas]
I really like the almost cronenbergian aspect that we have to sewing machine, but I gotta go with padlock for it’s. I don’t know, maybe because it’s a little bit more relatable, let’s say. Well, that’s the end of our big round one, where we’ve compared all of the episodes against each other. We’re going to look now at round two, which should be even more difficult, but we’re going to do that after the break.

[Break]

[Thomas]
All right, we are back, guys. It’s been difficult up to this point.

[Shep]
Has it?

[Thomas]
It’s only going to get harder from here on out, starting with this first one. It’s axe versus pillows.

[Emily]
Oh,

[Shep]
Ah.

[Emily]
No.

[Shep]
Let’s go. Move on.

[Emily]
Whoa.

[Thomas]
Wow.

[Emily]
That was just. Throw away that pillow, boyfriend, why don’t you?

[Shep]
Look. All the episodes from this point on are going to be bangers. There’s no bad episodes from here on out, so it’s all going to be tough choices. Go with your first instinct. Axe versus pillow. I thought axe was better. They’re both great.

[Emily]
You’re not wrong. Axe is better.

[Thomas]
All right. I agree as well. So pillows gets the axe, is what we’re saying.

[Emily]
Mmm.

[Shep]
Ah.

[Thomas]
Next, it’s turkey baster versus birdhouse.

[Shep]
What are the ods?

[Emily]
Birdhouse. It’s a fairy tale. I’m never gonna give it up.

[Shep]
Turkey baster. It’s medieval. There’s, you know, princesses and royal families and whatever.

[Thomas]
Between the two, I think I prefer turkey baster. So.

[Emily]
You’re wrong.

[Shep]
They’re, again, both great episodes.

[Thomas]
Yes. All right, we have flag versus jelly beans.

[Shep]
Ooh, flag.

[Thomas]
I agree. Flag. We have shamrock versus post it notes.

[Shep]
Post it notes.

[Emily]
Taco Tuesday. That’s all you say. Taco Tuesday.

[Shep]
Is that for or against shamrock? When you say taco Tuesday,

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
It’s four.

[Shep]
The audience doesn’t know we spent 45 minutes arguing about taco Tuesday. That all got cut out of the episode.

[Emily]
But there is taco Tuesday in the episode, and it’s quite lovely. And I don’t know what your problem with taco Tuesday was.

[Shep]
I still will go with postit notes. I liked Tucker and Dale versus evil, and that’s basically. That’s our version of that.

[Thomas]
The only reason I’m gonna pick post it notes is because I bet we’re gonna have more rom coms later, so-

[Emily]
Fair.

[Thomas]
It’s not like we need to send one further down the line. But they’re both excellent, and that was a hard choice, for sure.

[Shep]
Yep. They’re all heart choices.

[Thomas]
Oh, God. Eggnog versus bratwurst.

[Shep]
Ooh,

[Emily]
Oh, I hate to do this, but it’s eggnog.

[Shep]
I’ll go bratwurst. It could go either way.

[Thomas]
It could go either way. It’s eggnog for me, though.

[Shep]
That’s also fine. Eggnog was excellent.

[Thomas]
Paperclip versus turkey.

[Emily]
That’s not even hard.

[Shep]
Is it not?

[Emily]
No. Paperclip.

[Shep]
Okay, I’ll go paperclip.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Paperclip. We have string versus fireworks.

[Shep]
String. I know we have a lot of rom coms coming up, but I liked string a lot. I liked the cerebral philosophy arguments in it. I liked the comedy of fireworks quite a lot and how absurd it got at the very end. But for me, it’s string.

[Emily]
We will have dodgy pawn shop owners later on, so. Yeah, let’s go, string.

[Thomas]
All right, string moves on. Shampoo versus can opener.

[Shep]
Oh, they’re so different.

[Thomas]
They really are.

[Shep]
This is a really tough one. I know we say that every single time. I liked shampoo so much, but I think can opener is our most absurd, farcical comedy.

[Thomas]
It definitely is that. Yes.

[Shep]
And that’s what I like. And so for me, it’s can opener.

[Thomas]
Emily,

[Emily]
Yeah. I’m going to have to go with can opener,

[Thomas]
I agree with can opener between those two, but, yeah, tough choice. Brick versus contact lens.

[Emily]
Contact Len. No. Brick. Brick.

[Shep]
I will also go brick.

[Thomas]
I agree with brick.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Birthday candle versus zipper.

[Emily]
Zipper.

[Shep]
Zipper. No discussion needed.

[Thomas]
Is zipper going to be our number one?

[Shep]
Oh, probably.

[Thomas]
All right. Oh, my gosh. Tupperware Versus dice. The face that chef is.

[Shep]
I liked both of these so much.

[Emily]
They’re so different.

[Shep]
They are very different.

[Thomas]
Yes.

[Shep]
So I will go Tupperware again. I like the absurdity. I thought dice was a lot more heartwarming and moving emotionally,

[Thomas]
I would agree.

[Shep]
And Tupperware was funnier. So I will go comedy over emotions.

[Emily]
I’m going to go with dice, because we got rid of chicken soup really early on, and I want that emotional trauma.

[Shep]
That emotional period piece.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
You know what, Emily? I agree. Let’s do dice. Flowers versus tooth.

[Emily]
Flowers,

[Thomas]
I agree. So not all of them are super difficult. Paper bag versus candy corn.

[Shep]
Paper bag.

[Thomas]
Emily looks so torn.

[Emily]
Paper bag,

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Oh, wow.

[Thomas]
Paper bag. I agree.

[Shep]
Oh, Thomas is making a face.

[Thomas]
Lunchbox versus bowling pin.

[Emily]
Bowling pin,

[Thomas]
Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know. This is so hard. I love both of these.

[Shep]
Yes. And they’re completely different, and there’s no overlap. And so, like, which one’s better? An absurdist mockumentary or a really strong, thrilling mystery?

[Thomas]
This is so tough. I think I gotta go with lunchbox. Oh, my God. Sunscreen versus washing machine.

[Shep]
Washing machine.

[Emily]
Washing machine,

[Thomas]
Okay, good. Yeah. And finally, toilet brush versus padlock.

[Shep]
Padlock.

[Emily]
Toilet brush.

[Thomas]
Ooh. Okay. I think padlock was a little bit cleaner of a story, so I’m going to go with that one.

[Shep]
Ha. Cleaner than toilet brush.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Hey. All right, here we go. Back to the top. Axe versus turkey baster.

[Emily]
Axe-

[Shep]
Axe. Oh, man.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
Turkey baster is so good. I’m sorry, turkey baster, but axe was. It’s gonna be axe versus zipper. It’s a versus z.

[Emily]
It is.

[Shep]
We know what the future is.

[Emily]
It is gonna be,

[Thomas]
All right. Flag versus postit notes.

[Emily]
I think, flag, because it’s one of our more serious Sci-Fi adventure pieces.

[Thomas]
Yeah, that’s the one I like as well. No, two of my favorites here. Eggnog and paperclip. Oh, man, this one’s so.

[Emily]
Okay. So I believe in eggnog. We had discussed a lot of celebrities in it, and one of the ones that we suggested was Andre Brower,

[Thomas]
Yeah, yeah.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah.

[Thomas]
I think you’re.

[Emily]
And that just depresses me, unbelievably, because he would have been amazing in it. So I’m going to go with paperclip so I don’t have to relive that sadness every time-

[Shep]
I will go the opposite, and I’ll go eggnog. Keep that memory alive.

[Thomas]
Know, Emily, you were just talking about how in eggnog, we cast all these celebrities. I remember after we finished recording paperclip and we had stopped recording, we did the same thing, except that we didn’t record it. And I remember we cast it with all these amazing people. Tony Shalub was in there and a bunch of other great actors.

[Shep]
Tony Schlube doesn’t make it into the episode.

[Emily]
It. No, we had stopped recording.

[Shep]
Oh.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
No.

[Emily]
That’s why we stopped doing that. We kept recording for a little while.

[Thomas]
This is so tough, because paperclip forever has been, like, one of my. Probably my favorite episode, but, God, I love eggnog. It is such a good episode. I think I gotta go with eggnog.

[Emily]
You guys are right. I mean, it still breaks my heart.

[Shep]
Yes. Same.

[Thomas]
String versus can opener.

[Emily]
I’m going to go with the cerebral string.

[Thomas]
Well, because I don’t think Shep’s been our tiebreaker yet. I’m gonna go with can opener.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Thomas]
So now chef has to make a decision.

[Shep]
You know how much I love absurdist farces, but I also love cerebral philosophy, so they’re both great, but I’ll go with string as the tiebreaker.

[Thomas]
These are both great. All right, Brick and zipper.

[Emily]
Zipper.

[Shep]
Hold on.

[Thomas]
Yeah, Brick’s quite good.

[Shep]
Zipper of course, is excellent.

[Thomas]
Okay. Here’s the question, though. Is zipper excellent, or is that one scene in zipper excellent?

[Shep]
I think that one scene in zipper is phenomenal, and then Zipper as a whole is excellent, because it’s not just that scene.

[Thomas]
Okay.

[Emily]
Yeah,

[Thomas]
Right.

[Shep]
It’s the whole philosophy of, who are you on the inside? Who do you want to be?

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
So I’m going to go with Brick. I like the Android police force. I like the detective from Earth. I like the mystery of it. I like the Sci-Fi aspects of it.

[Thomas]
And, Emily, you’re sticking with zipper.

[Emily]
I’m going to stick with zipper. Zipper is one of my favorite of our horror, spooky, creepy ones.

[Thomas]
All right, this is really.

[Shep]
There’s no wrong answers, Thomas.

[Thomas]
Know. I know.

[Emily]
Yeah. You’re not going to hurt anybody’s feelings.

[Thomas]
I think I’ve got to go with Brick.

[Emily]
Yay. Daniel.

[Thomas]
All right. We have dice and flowers.

[Shep]
I like flowers. I still like the zombie romance in it. It’s very silly.

[Emily]
I think flowers is one that I would enjoy more.

[Thomas]
So we’re picking flowers.

[Emily]
So, yeah, for me, it’s flowers.

[Shep]
We’re picking flowers.

[Thomas]
Hey, I haven’t. That’s just how my brain works.

[Shep]
How long you been waiting to say.

[Thomas]
Paper bag versus lunchbox.

[Shep]
That’s. Ooh.

[Emily]
Oh, this is no question. For me, it’s paper bag. I think paper bag’s the stronger story. I think it’s got more humor. I think it’s got more growth. It’s the romance. Okay, I’m going to admit it. It’s the rom.com of it all.

[Thomas]
Because I disagree with the humor aspect. I think lunchbox has more humor. It’s definitely less grounded.

[Shep]
Yes. That’s the. That’s what makes it funny is how silly it is.

[Thomas]
Right. It has a real Christopher guest quality to it.

[Emily]
Yeah,

[Shep]
Yes. I will go with paper bag as well.

[Thomas]
I love both of these, but, yeah, paperback is the direction I was leaning anyway, so. Washing machine and padlock.

[Shep]
Washing machine.

[Emily]
100%.

[Thomas]
Yeah. All right, we’re down to our next round. Axe and flag.

[Emily]
Now, it’s kind of hard.

[Shep]
Yeah, they’re gonna. Only gonna get harder. How many are in this round?

[Thomas]
There are eight going up against each other here.

[Shep]
Okay.

[Emily]
We’re going to pick four winners.

[Thomas]
Yes. Four winners.

[Shep]
Axe versus flag. See, both of them? I can see so clearly when we were going through it. It’s like I’m watching the movie as we’re discussing it.

[Thomas]
Yeah, same.

[Emily]
To me, it comes down to the two best scenes that we described in each one. And with flag, you have the crewmate disappearing, and there’s zero they could do about it.

[Thomas]
Yeah,

[Emily]
And then in axe, you have the flaming ride on the log flume while being chased by a monster and people being picked off one by one.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
And it’s so bananasly great that it’s got to be axe.

[Shep]
I will also go axe. Emily has convinced me. I was going to say flag when it first came up because it’s between the two. I like the Sci-Fi aspects a lot, but she’s right. It paints a picture towards the.

[Thomas]
All right. Eggnog versus string.

[Shep]
Ooh. I know it’s all going to get cut out, but there are, like, these long pauses when you give us the pairings, and we have to really ponder.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s hard. It’s so hard because I could go with either of these.

[Emily]
Yeah. I really want to say string, but I just.

[Shep]
Yeah.

[Emily]
You know, a good holiday comedy is hard to pass up.

[Thomas]
You know what? There’s so many bad Christmas movies that get made these days. I’d like to see a good one.

[Shep]
So I will say string, since she didn’t.

[Thomas]
Okay, man.

[Shep]
Yep. But really, I could go with either of them because they’re both great.

[Thomas]
I think I’m going to choose eggnog.

[Shep]
How dare you?

[Emily]
You know that. The next round, it’s eggnog versus axe. Right.

[Thomas]
Oh, fuck. Well, we’ll get there when we get there. All right. We have brick and flowers.

[Shep]
I’m sticking with brick. I know I’ve been voting brick this whole time, but I like brick a lot.

[Emily]
I like brick over flowers. I think brick. Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Paper bag and washing machine.

[Shep]
Oh, no.

[Emily]
This is, like. This is picking my two favorite children. Like, these are. No.

[Thomas]
Oh, man. This one’s really tough.

[Shep]
It really is. I will go paper bag over washing machine, but it is a razor thin difference. Yeah. It hurts. It hurts to even make the choice.

[Emily]
I’m gonna have to pick washing machine. And I’ve been pro paperback this whole time.

[Thomas]
Man. This is so difficult.

[Shep]
Yeah. They’re both excellent episodes.

[Thomas]
I love both of these.

[Shep]
Yes. Agreed.

[Thomas]
These are definitely in my top few. I think between the two, I’m going to pick washing machine.

[Emily]
It was hard.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
It’s so hard. Oh, no. Here we go, guys. Axe versus eggnog.

[Shep]
Axe.

[Emily]
Axe.

[Thomas]
Yeah.

[Emily]
Sorry, Santa Claus.

[Thomas]
And then brick versus washing machine.

[Shep]
Oh, no. I’ll go brick again, but again, it’s very close.

[Emily]
It’s gonna be washing machine for me.

[Shep]
The washing machine is fantastic.

[Emily]
The enemies to lovers trope is strong with this.

[Thomas]
Yeah,

[Emily]
Enemies to lovers plus close proximity. It’s just.

[Thomas]
I think I agree with that for the same reasons, Emily. Washing machine is going to be the one. That’s such a difficult choice, though.

[Shep]
Yep.

[Thomas]
God.

[Shep]
Brick made it really far.

[Emily]
It did.

[Thomas]
All right, guys, here we go. Axe versus washing machine.

[Emily]
Okay, so, I love monsters and scary things and terror, and I love romance a lot.

[Shep]
There could have been some romance among those loggers. You don’t know.

[Emily]
We had that discussion.

[Shep]
Oh, did we?

[Emily]
In fact, Thomas has a whole, like, in a world where line about a windigo and a green horse falling in love,

[Thomas]
Oh, that’s right.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.

[Thomas]
Yours was a love forbidden.

[Shep]
That was great.

[Emily]
And it’s so great.

[Shep]
All right.

[Thomas]
That’s.

[Shep]
You’ve convinced me, Axe.

[Thomas]
Righteous.

[Emily]
But washing machine has, like, oh, there’s so much. And I think my love for washing machine more has to do with. One of my favorite parts of that episode is where I pitch that she goes and apologizes, and you both are like, she didn’t do anything wrong.

[Shep]
Oh, yeah. Yes.

[Emily]
I think that’s a really funny moment, but it’s not in the story. But it’s love, and there’s kissing. But I’m going to have to go with Axe.

[Thomas]
Yeah. These are both fantastic episodes. Definitely deserving to be where they are. For me, Axe is just more visual, slightly more memorable.

[Shep]
It’s the strong finale.

[Emily]
Yeah.

[Thomas]
Yeah. Yeah.

[Shep]
The finale, the final scene, the escape from the creature, is so strong that, like, however weak the previous parts were and they weren’t, how weak they could have been, it wouldn’t matter because the ending is so strong.

[Thomas]
Well, at the end of all of that, Axe is the winner. It is our favorite episode in this bracket challenge. Let’s be clear. Some of these, right from the start, were really tough, pitting them against each other. We’ll post our elite eight episodes on the website AlmostPlausible.com, where you can also find all of the episodes we mentioned on today’s show.

[Shep]
And more. There are bonus episodes that weren’t part of the brackets.

[Thomas]
That’s true. Thank you to everybody who has listened to the show this far. We’re very excited for season three. Anything else you guys wanted to say? Yeah.

[Shep]
It’s fun to record this. It’s fun to turn what we’ve been doing basically our entire friendship for decades where we get together and pitch ideas at each other into a podcast.

[Thomas]
Right. Well, we look forward to hearing from you. We want to thank you for listening to the show, and we hope that you’re looking forward to joining Shep, Emily and I on the next episode of Almost Plausible.

[Emily]
I’m happy that we’re sharing something that all three of us love, and I hope to continue doing it for as long as we can’t.

[Shep]
I thought they were in their late thirty s. You said early 40s.

[Thomas]
I think they’re in their early 40s. It, oh,

[Shep]
I thought one of the recurring lines was, one of them was, like, getting called old and he’s like, I’m 37.

[Thomas]
Maybe there, maybe I miswrote this and need to go back and fix it here. How about this? A group of friends in their early 30s.

[Shep]
Late 30s. Late 30s.

[Thomas]
A group of friends in their late thirty s.

[Shep]
They’re mid to late 30s.

[Thomas]
A group of friends in their.

[Emily]
It’s.